A Very Bold Lakshmi No Doubt, But Can You Accept Her?

I see two sides of the coins at the same time!

While Prathi is all for Lakshmi, Surya is against. Let's take them one by one. Now Prathi, the arrangement looks flawless but there are a lot of risks. We are used to typical romantic movies, romantic novels, best sellers etc. But love in real life is completely different. But more than anything else we cannot assume that human mind will be the same for a period as long as two years. If you consider these factors the risks involved are:
a) Ram may change his mind, might start liking Lakshmi and might even refuse to give her divorce. Lakshmi cannot rely on the agreement as the Courts will not entertain agreements which put the institution of marriage to shame.
b) Lakshmi might even change her mind and start loving Ram.
c) Rishi might change his mind and his love for Lakshmi might wear off.
d) As another member very intelligently pointed out, given this situation, it will be very difficult for Ram to get a good bride.
Now to Surya:

Lakshmi is a major and all is not a practical argument in India. Lakshmi's parents might still try to force her into marriage with a stranger. In matters like these more than anything else, parents, at least most of them want to keep their egos in tact. So just to prove their point they might force Lakshmi to marry a worthless person.
On the other hand if Lakshmi is married, another marriage is not legally possible until a valid divorce is decreed by a competent court. And once Lakshmi makes known the fact of marriage then no groom will be ready to marry her. That way she is safe.

Don't think I argue on both the sides. The correctness of Lakshmi's decision depends on the intensity of factors on either side.
So let's continue...
sridhar

 

I admire your empathy

One thing that is remarkable about your reply is that you have slipped into the shoes of Lakshmi's parents and have then viewed the problem from their angle. It is rare to see a woman so young to take the parental view. I am touched by the concern you show for parents.
As I have already stated in 9 out of 10 cases the parents are right and the children would do well to just tow the line of their parents. But there are the 10% for whom their own ego is more precious than their children. We don't have any information about Lakshmi's parents. From the way Lakshmi has taken such a daring and such a risky decision we can infer that her parents fall into the 10% category.
Now, you view the whole scene from Lakshmi's angle. Agreed that there would be risks and problems in the future. But if she had not taken that daring step she might be facing an immediate problem of being forced into a marriage with an unwanted groom.
She has preferred the possibility of a probable future happiness to certain immediate hell.
regards,
sridhar

 

Your Reply Is Powerful - As your name suggests!

Dear Shakthi,
Your reply is as powerful as your name suggests. In fact the very purpose of my starting this Lakshmi column is to elicit such strong views from the members, of course stronger views from both the sides.
For starters I am not fully in favour of this Lakhsmi's action. Unlike all my other Lakshmi's this is a actual happening (surprisingly I read it in the Economic Times).
But we should appreciate Lakshmi's difficulties also. Her parents might have been seriously looking for another groom and force her into an unwanted marriage. Then she like many women should spend the rest of her life with one man, thinking about another. Perhaps she wanted to avoid this.
Convincing the parents-- well from the convenience of arm-chairs this argument looks very plausible. But in reality have you seen any parents being convinced by their children's arguments especially when it comes to love marriage and especially when the love is between persons of different caste, community or religion. I haven't seen even a single instance.
Please note that I am not against the parents. But here the intensity of her love for Rishi has made her take such a bold decision.
I love the 'vennai sunnambu' argument. But let's not forget, Shakthi, that Ram has not been forced into this arrangement. He is a matured man of the right age and he has taken this decision to help his brother and his love. There are brothers who are ready to donate their kidneys for their brothers; in the light of that Ram's sacrifice is all right. Let's not blame Rishi's parents. They did not ask Ram to do the sacrifice. Rishi has asked Ram; Ram agreed and their parents okayed the arrangement. So no question of any partiality - or vennai-sunnambu here.
As I have repeating so many times there are many risks involved. Ram may change his mind. might refuse to give divorce, or Lakhsmi might change her mind and decide to stick on to the marriage. The arrangement may create complications for Ram and his future marriage. Whether the decision is wise or otherwise, only time can tell and that too after the two-year period.
regards,
sridhar

 

Let's keep our fingers crossed and wait!

Prathi, one of the main purposes of these Lakshmi's snippets is to show that nothing in life is just black or white. There are only different shades of grey. We should remember this fact when we are called upon to judge others. Honestly, I can't judge this Lakshmi. On the one side there are real risks which might materialise within the 2 year period. On the other hand there is a lurking danger which is in the present that might thwart her love. Torn between these forces Lakshmi has taken a bold decision. Prathi, sitting comfortably as we are, we wont be taking decisions like this. But driven to extremes people do things which appear weird and even scary to others. But no one can judge unless we fully understand the individual and her environment. I am also hoping upon hope that everything should turn well for Lakshmi, that Rishi, Lakshmi and Ram and every one should come out of this situation unscathed. But from my position I can only hope wish and pray.
regards,
sridhar