A Transit Date

She Walks in Beauty

​

“There, she walks in beauty.”

“Why Lord Byron today?”

“Ok, let me croon desi for you then.”

(Adi clears his throat)

“Tujhe dekha to yeh jana sanam”

“Not again Adi, you rip that song for me. Stop it!”

“Pyar hota hai deewana sanam.”

“Not love, your hoarse singing is crazy. Adi, stop it!”

“Ab yahan se kahan jaayein hum”

“You can go and do the laundry or clean the shed but stop singing.”

“Teri baahon mein mar jaayein hum.”

“Eh, you better off dying in the arms of a qualified surgeon.”

"Aankhein meri, sapne tere.”

“No thanks, I can dream with my own eyes.”

“Dil mera, yaadein teri.”

“You preserve memories in brain not heart. Get you basic biology right. I cannot believe that I married you without assessing your basic knowledge of human parts.”

“Sab kuch tera , jaan teri, saansein teri”

“Derelict! Irresponsible! Throwing yourself on someone to take care of you. Adi, stop it”

(Poorni clamps his mouth)

“Meri aankhon mein aansoo tere aa gaye”

“May be conjunctivitis. Don’t neglect.”

“Muskurane lage saare gham.”

“If your tears are humming then fashion a musical instrument of them but stop this singing”

“Poorni, do you know that you are the most unsupportive wife of the most romantic husband.”

“What am I to do? Your singing destroys my whatsoever romance at times I invoke for you.”

“You are no Simran to this Raj”.

“I would prefer boarding the nearest compartment to sprinting on the platform with high heels just to hold your hand.”

“Simran was madly in love with Raj that she would not board the train till he lifted her up. That’s called melting love.”

“I call that thickened love where they don’t realise that it is easier to pull the chain of the train.”

(Adi cocks his head and shoots a gaze at her winged eyebrow)

“Do you know why I love you?”

“Because one way or the other I make you eat kale.”

“No. You get a second chance.”

“Because I never hurry my bath even when you are shouting and banging the bathroom door.”

“No. You get one more chance, your last chance.”

(Poorni sweeps her fingers across his arm upward, traces his neck, grazes his ear, and gently caresses his temples)

“I am the only one who can put up with the brat in you.”

“Precisely! And that is the reason when I saw you for the first time my heart leapt tujhe dekha to yeh jana sanam. Funny, when I met you the first time, I expected you to alight the running train and run toward me throwing yourself into my outstretched arms. Why didn’t you do any of that?”

“Because I know you will find me, and contact me, and harass the rest of my life with your unfinished pyar hota hai deewana sanam”.

(Adi grins)

 

Have a lovely holiday. Now, you are giving me ideas. Here's a precursor to the upcoming “girl dekko” scene.

 

Racconti Romani​

(Adi turns the brass knob of his room and tiptoes while Poorni is listening to music)

“Boo!”

“Adi! How many times do I have to remind you to ring the main door or call me up before you start from work to return home. I get startled when you sneak up to me like this in an alien room and new surroundings.”

“Missy, this is my room and I gave you the spare key to my house to enter and leave as you like. Moreover, the renovations you have been doing to my bedroom in preparation of my wedding with you as my wife is beyond my comprehension. I don’t recognise my own room these days. What are these pink and cream things (he sniffs a roll). Seriously? Are these scented drawer liners? C’mon Poorni, this is too girly”

“I have moved in with you two weeks ago and you better get used to having me and my whims and my tastes and my smells and my salts and my sweat around if you intend to be my husband.”

“Alrighty Miss Dashy”

“Tell me, do your parents know that you have moved in with me.”

“Are you kidding? Of course, they know. Which dumb girl would marry anyone without cohabiting with him? Adi, sometimes I find you very primitive like that caveman who is surprised that his cave-girlfriend brought him champagne.”

“I would be. Because my cave-girlfriend plots to get me sloshed and repaint my cave mural pink and tie a dainty tulle ribbon to my club. I left my macho house in gentian blue curtains this morning and now they have been replaced with gardenia cream.”

“I want to give it a Roman stroke.”

“I don’t see any nude David around.”

“Not the high-art look, you know ...that ..what’s that Racconti Romani ..common man’s Roman look”.

“With all these vases and swags, I feel like I am in a Turkish seraglio”

“You get used to it, Mr Nilakantan. Tell me, what did you tell about me to your parents?”

“I told them she may not understand any mantra tantra or sloka as her dad sent her to a posh Montessori school and she loves swamps and she has the most vicious eyes in a woman. ”

“So ..”

“My mom doubts if I am marrying a woman or a crocodile.”

“Good. Keep up that impression. You know, I hate to play a kind bahu.”

“I know. You have deigned just to be a passable wife.”

“My folks are coming to the city next week. Do you want to meet them? It will be fun. I am looking forward to getting crushed between a Sexy Crocodile and a Mother Bear.”

“Yes the pre-wedding fireworks. I would love to. But remember, you might have to travel with me to my city to catch up with my folks.”

“Are your parents fine for me to stay over at your place for a weekend with their unmarried and coy daughter.”

“Huh.. that caveman!”

“No, Poorni. I had seen girls in my college who would swiftly refer to their parents to seek their hand if a boy so much as stole a glance of her.”

“That is so passe. Where do you find such Poonam in Vivah or Suman in Maine Pyar Kiya type chui-mui specimens? Grow up my Prem! Grow up! Get real. Women are assertive and forthright these days.”

(He sweeps her in his arms, languidly carries her, flops her on the bed, climbs on to the bed beside her, whips her around on him and tips her chin)

“Miss Assertive, no more changes to the room. Please."

“OK, I promise, no more changes.”

“I will shower and you better get ready in a jiffy as I want to take you out for dinner.”

(Adi scrambles out of the bed. He grabs his towel and heads to the bathroom. In less than five seconds, Poorni hears a scream unlike she has ever heard from Adi. She pretends to ignore it as Adi’s excited and delightful shriek on seeing her lavatory makeover)

 

Oh Billy Boy​

“But, why did you lie to me, Adi?”

“I didn’t lie. I omitted the truth, Poorni”

“Don’t do that syllogism with me.”

“How can I?! I might have better chance with a sword than a syllogism while fighting with you.”

“So, we are fighting now, Adi.”

“How do I know?! You talk. I argue. You discuss. I fight. Isn’t that how you feel, Poorni.”

“You were the one who cited a 'fight', Adi”.

“And you were the one who is hell bent on teaching me the difference between a lie and fib and other variants in the art of concealing the truth.”

“This is not funny, Adi.”

“It never is with you, Poorni”

“Adi, with you, no matter how I explain, elaborate, stretch and shift, you cannot grasp it.”

“Yes, I am obtuse, is that what you are trying to tell me.”

“These are your words. Not mine.”

“Yes, I am the culprit here, ain’t? You only explain and elaborate and shift and pump and whatnot of your hydraulic mouth ..”

“I don’t even understand. What are our fighting here about, you or me or my mouth.”

“Neither do I. But you are impossible. I need some fresh air.”

(Adi slams the door and exits the house. The whirring of the car follows.)
(After an hour, Poorni’s mobile rings)

“Hello, Mrs Impossible here, what do you want?”

“I want to know the difference between a lie and a fib.”

“You reached the wrong number. I teach no such things. I only teach people sumo wrestling.”

“Are you still fuming at me, Poorni?”

“No, I am not. It’s water under the hydraulic bridge, Adi.”

“Hehe! I know that hushed water will erupt as hostile spray every time you recollect this incident.”

“That’s a prerogative of a woman to never let the water evaporate but keep it at a close bay.”

“Do you get scared when we squabble?”

“I do.”

“Do you feel the ache?”

“I do.”

“Do you fear losing me?”

“No, I don’t. Are you calling from behind the main door or the rooftop or sneaked into the house through the bathroom? Where have you been Billy Boy?”

“Three years of married us and you think I will let myself be so predictable. I am few miles away in a resort in a cottage overlooking a placid lake.”

“I see. I am glad you didn’t try the chimney to enter the house. Busy season. I might not find a fireman to rescue you.”

“I was scared to return home. Who knows ... if you are holding a belan or a tamping rod or those extra-long tongs you bought last week at the door to greet me.”

“Niccolò di Bernardo dei Machiavelli once said, it is better to be feared than be loved.”

“Your Bernardo might have had a shrew of a wife. But I don’t. And I love you.”

“Then stop overlooking the lake and come home and fill up the bath tub for a warm bath à deux.”

“No, I want you to come down to the resort because I want to be crazy with you today. And I want to do things to you today.”

“Oh I see ...do things ...so the Tomás de Torquemada in you has decided to pinch my nose and tweak my ear.”

“Those and other things.”

“Come home, Billy Boy”

“Come down to the resort. Your Charming Billy wants you here.”

“Ok, I am coming.”

“Wear some blazing sindoor and loud mangalsutra malas when you inquire at the reception for me and look like my wife to the ever-suspicious staff.”

“You know I would never do any of that. Instead, I will pack a belan and tongs in my unzipped hand bag and the staff will grasp that only a wife would visit her wayward husband with such punitive accessories.”

“Be quick. I miss you already.”

“I will start right away once you revise the difference between a "lie" and a "fib" and "omission of truth"”.

“Poorni, you are impossible! I miss you sorely. Be fast.”

 

Hehe! I want to scratch away a sassy, urbane and contemporary romance rather than a stilted and traditional one.

Again, these are the only romances I am familiar with in the society. Goofy romances! Poorni and Adi are a goofy couple and they exchange playful larks between them.

 

@arunac,

I meant to write to you earlier. As usual, my ingrained laziness stalls any interaction and some more laziness creeps over me that overlays on my indolent form. I am conscious and embarrassed if someone is reading my story. I write up stuff in IL as self-indulgence. If I had edit access to my page, I would write up, review, edit, rewrite in a self-absorbed manner with no clue or curiosity of the small audience who is following the goofy saga. My diction is a giveaway in any writing. Next time I will try to write very serious and profound...dekhna.