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A terrible experience!

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by SmitaMatthew, Dec 10, 2012.

  1. SmitaMatthew

    SmitaMatthew New IL'ite

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    <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--> I recently underwent an abortion and it was the most horrible experience of my life. Even horrible than the fact that I had to endure so many taunts and reproaches by my family for becoming pregnant before marriage.
    I am 23 years old and engaged to be married. My fiancé and I decided to have a short vacation together to know each other better as ours is an arranged marriage. We went to Goa with a group of friends in August. We had a great time there, during the day as well as night! I was feeling so happy and lucky to have him as my husband as he is such an amazing person. But the problem soon started when I got to know that I was 4 weeks pregnant. It was a complete shock for me as I had never thought that something like this would happen. My family rage was indescribable. They couldn’t digest the fact that their daughter became pregnant before marriage.
    My marriage is on 25<sup>th</sup> February 2013 and if I had allowed the baby to stay I would be around 6 months pregnant. My parents thought it would be a complete shame on our entire clan! Hence they forced me to go in for an abortion. I discussed this with Arpit, my fiancé, and he was of the opinion that we should go ahead with my pregnancy and post-porne our wedding date. After all it was our baby. But both sides of our family strongly opposed to this and my inlaws also forced us to abort the baby.
    I went to a big hospital for an abortion as I was dead scared about the whole procedure. Although the doctor was very helpful and considerate, the procedure did not go as smooth as expected. I faced some bleeding complications in my abortion and the pain was unbearable. I constantly got the thought that God is punishing me for my evil deed of killing an innocent baby. Moreover the scars of the operation not only left a mark on my conscience but also blemishes on my belly. Now I cannot wear the lehenga which I had purchased for my wedding as these scars are visible through it.
    I am sharing my experience with you guys because I don’t want anyone to go through what I had to endure. The doctor later told me that in cases like this, where we have an unexpected sex, having an emergency contraceptive pill within 72 hours is a life saving option. She said after marriage in case we have sex without protection and are not planning for a baby then having an emergence contraceptive pill will cause no harm. However it should be taken on “once-in-a-while” basis.
    Ladies, anything is better an abortion. Please take precautions while having sex or take an emergency contraceptive pill, but avoid abortion at any cost!
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  2. pathak2610

    pathak2610 Bronze IL'ite

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    I feel sorry for you and your fiance too. I hope you both have enough maturity to handle this post marriage too as i'm sure the families will not forget this easily.

    Do consider going for counselling together to cope with this situation - it will surely help in managing the situation post marriage better.

    as for your experience with abortion - u said it all. I'm sorry for you. Take care & counselling.
     
    2 people like this.
  3. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    Let's see: You had unprotected sex before marriage, got pregnant, had an abortion, then joined this forum to share the experience with members so no one else has to endure what you went through, you have included what is presumably your full name, your fiance's name, and date of your upcoming wedding......

    And,

    Blemishes on belly due to abortion? Hmmm...

    And your profile shows Relationship Status as "Married" , not Single.
     
    10 people like this.
  4. hrastro

    hrastro Platinum IL'ite

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    I can understand the deep pain you and your fiance are facing... the pain will lessen in a few months/years but dont forget the lesson learnt... But I'm surprised that at 23 you are "completely shocked" that you were pregnant - you havent heard about contraception, condoms, safe dates, emergency pills ... there are so many ways you could have avoided this !!! Or, if you really wanted, you could have pre-poned the wedding !!!

    But, what happened has already happened, if it helps you and if you believe in God, karma and after life etc, remember, there are some souls that have extinguished their karma and maybe some minimum amount is left over, so they are just born as these aborted babies, you're just a vehicle that the soul has used to finish its karma... it had to happen, you couldnt have stopped it anyway !

    If you dont believe in karma and God, just ignore the above passage :)

    It might help if you and your fiance have a discussion and (along with his and your family) agree that what happened has happened and NEVER NEVER talk about it among yourselves or others in future !
     
  5. 6teenpearls

    6teenpearls Gold IL'ite

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    how can one get SHOCKED by being familiar with the fact that he/she had gone for unproctd. sx!
    it can be shocking when there's no physical contct & still preggers..
     
  6. Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    2 adults could not withstand parental pressure.... Married life is gonna be interesting for you both. :)
     
  7. Haya

    Haya Gold IL'ite

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    nica catch Rihana...
     
  8. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    reading too many Sherlock Holmes novels or solving mysteries and puzzles....
     
    sindmani, Archies123 and 6teenpearls like this.
  9. IndhuRamesh

    IndhuRamesh Platinum IL'ite

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    Feel sorry for whatever you went through.. But be careful in handling your post marriage issues or any problems.. Think wice before attempting anything and later you need no be sorry for what you did with your conscience present..
     
  10. positivegal

    positivegal Gold IL'ite

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    you both should have got a register marriage Immediately that would saved the trauma and baby, why to wait till Feb 2013....
     
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