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A Peculiar Problem - Need Help

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by KeerthDhan, Nov 15, 2019.

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  1. Socialbee

    Socialbee Silver IL'ite

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    This kind of behavior by any gender should not be taken lightly. Especially if the person is a co-worker, you need to be even more proactive. Don’t wait until things turn against you.
    Your husbands needs to be very careful. He should either report it or if he is not willing to do that then he should find a way to stay away from that lady forever. Working in the same place and just continuing to ignore, will not help in long run. In fact, chances are more that it could lead to a potentially bigger problem.
    You as a wife, have all the rights to be angry at that woman. Show it either directly or sarcastically. You need not be nice to her. Keeping quiet and being nice will only encourage her behavior more.

    All the best!
     
    Sunshine04 and nakshatra1 like this.
  2. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    So it was your husband who told you many times about that case.
    Did you try to find out if that actually happened?
    Did you find if that case was similar to your husband's case or it was a case of both parties being at fault.
    How can a company fire an innocent victim?

    So that is why you have been quiet and letting your husband have peace at home inspite of him getting these messages from another woman?

    Seems a little convenient.

    If roles were reversed and it was your job that was more important ......would your husband have been as understanding of another guy persuing you ?

    Did he ask you to be nice/normal to her socially. To not let her know that you know or she will cause trouble? Or is it your own way of keeping your husband 's job safe?

    What stopped you from approaching the other good friend,her husband ?

    Why did you all continue to meet up socially and act like nothing was wrong?Is that not an encouragement to continue ?

    Is your marriage less worth than money and job?
    Will he not get another job?Will you not get another job ever...even in India.
    Is the prospect of coming back to India so bad that you are willing to tolerate this ?

    I apologize if the questions seem a bit too much but op...yours is a very strange case to understand . I have yet to hear of someone tolerating such non sense for 2 years so peacefully .

    If I were in your place....I would start by asking husband details about that case he told you about so many times.

    Tell him you want to check with a lawyer if his case is similar or different from that one.
     
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2019
  3. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    Mrs Mango,

    With all the questions ... it does seem like the guy is playing victim card on both sides and taking these women on a ride on separate horses...I wonder :buenrollo:

    If no one is ready to pull their sleeves up.. and sort it out cleanly with HR or someone...then a note to the other husband could help bring in some (overdue) ruckus?...some one is playing a clever game since 2 years and they need to be 'parda fash'ed.
     
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2019
  4. sbonigala

    sbonigala Platinum IL'ite

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    OP, I dont mean to be rude but your post is contradicting in many places. The story isn’t peculiar but strange.
    You say you trust your H 100% but you say you are insecure.
    You say you are overthinking but this issue doesn’t look like you have ever thought about the consequences beyond money, which doesn’t need over thinking btw.
    You say you are tolerant but this doesn’t look like an issue to be tolerated at all, let alone 2 years!! A woman approaching your H - and you are laughing about it- sorry this is not tolerance.
    A mother of 2 kids, approaching a married colleague- not infatuation but initiation of extra marital affair.

    And you are now saying our replies are making you think! Seriously?

    Why is your H asking you to stand your ground and not back off? Why cant he do the same? Afterall, he is direct victim(?) here, according to him, right!

    You cutting her off from social media is not going to change anything, in fact it might help her that you are not watching her now!

    If your H chooses to fix this, it’s not a biggie !
    And this “he loves his job so doesn’t want to shift” while his marriage is at stake sounds like a card well played!

    Is there more detail that’s missing in your post?
     
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2019
  5. rachaputi

    rachaputi Platinum IL'ite

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    Probably you might have stopped her long back, if you were focused on issue than fun
     
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2019
  6. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    He needs to complain to the HR.
    Where do you live??
    No company will fire an innocent victim
     
  7. KeerthDhan

    KeerthDhan New IL'ite

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    Thank you everyone for your inputs. Appreciate all your suggestions. Can the moderators please delete my original post? I feel it’s so specific and too much information. Am so sorry.
     
  8. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Posts in IL are permanent markers! Cannot be deleted.
    Not sure if moderators can also do that .

    BTW curious to know where did you head with your thinking cap on?
    :grinning:
    Did any suggestions help?
    What ways are you considering to deal this matter?

    It helps the future readers to tackle such situation as you have mentioned infatuation at workplace is not uncommon and not everyone comes forward to take suggestions. They read such threads discreetly and seek help they need.
     
  9. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    You can't delete posts OP......beyond the editing window.
    You could try writing to admin and requesting them.
    You can ask for the thread to be closed if you want.

    Best wishes.
    Hope you find a solution.
     
    KeerthDhan likes this.
  10. KeerthDhan

    KeerthDhan New IL'ite

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    How do I write the admin?
     
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