A Match Not Matched.

Yesterday I attended my second cousins wedding and a little disturbed after returning from there. I happened to see a guy and his family who had come to my house to see me as a match for him some 11 years back. This guys mother is my cousins grandmother s sister. He had issues in his horoscope and therefore was not getting good matches. Even I had match issues in horoscope but it was realised late by my family. They are/were a decent family, he is/ was working in good post but for some reason I didn't like his face and his silent nature. My cousins grandparents had brought this proposal and they r the ones who tried to connect the families who were otherwise unknown to each other. When he and his family came for girl seeing me, they were many people from their side and only me and my mother from our side. They were fully confident about this match and that's the reason I feel the first meeting had so many people. The guy, his parents, sister, her son and the common relatives. All spoke to me except the boy. He appeared to be a shy, reserved and introvert person. Only while leaving, the guy smiled. He was then 32 and me 25 something. He had seen many girls before me and for me it was the 3rd or 4th. I was earning a good salary then and too proud about it then though an average looking girl. His salary was double of mine. I had seen the boys picture in matrimonial site before also, and had rejected him mentally. They left confidently thinking that this proposal would match. They informed that they don't believe in horoscope and matching it was not compulsory for them. They called us again to tell they all liked me and to know our decision. My mother said the horoscopes are not matching and so we don't wish to proceed. Actually it was my decision and we gave the reason of horoscope to them. It was a case of shuddh and paapam horoscope which ideally shouldn't be matched. My parents also didn't like the common relative as they didnt give much respect to my cousins father and so even they were not very keen to take it further. That chapter got closed. Later we came to know from the common relative that he married some one from native place and has a kid. Meanwhile I also got married in 2 years after entertaining many proposals. My dh also had issues in horoscope and since his family also didn't believe in horoscope matching and me too, the wedding happened. My husband is comparatively handsome, but same shy reserved and introvert like the other guy.

Now fast forward 11 years, I knew that I would see him and his family at my cousins wedding. I was a little tensed about seeing them. I recognised him and his mother immediately. Smiled at his mom the first time I saw her yesterday. He was not around then. His mom now looked aged and I guess didn't recognise me. Later I know she would have asked about me to the common relative. His wife looked around 32 , better looking than me, and had a daughter who was around 7 years old. All the three were shy silent type with minimum communication with each other. The guy was standing in front of me at a distance of five feet many a times. I chose to act like I don't know and remember him and he too did the same. Four or five times he was standing so close that I doubt if he was deliberately doing that. His wife was not around then. I wanted to say hello and talk to him but many things were holding me back. Didn't want to rewind old memories if he had forgotten. Didnt want to disturb his wife.

I wished to talk to his mother and sister whom I liked at the first meeting itself but I refrained from going in front of them. They guy who must now be 43 , had not changed much appearance wise.

After coming home his face kept appearing in my mind so many times as if I did a mistake by not marrying him. There is not much of a difference in my husband nature and his except for looks. Would I have felt better if I had talked to him.

Just as we all were getting down from stage,wishing the married couple, my daughter started crying loudly for no reasons and their whole family was sitting nearby. My brother and sil consoled my daughter and the introvert me scootted from there. Had I stood there for a few seconds, I would have been again introduced to that guys family.

It will take a few days for me to forget this episode. I feel guilty bcos i was the one to reject the proposal. I have now realised that looks are deceptive.

Sorry for the long post. But I would like to know if you were in my position, how would you react. Would you go and introduce yourself or let it go knowing that you may not see them again in this lifetime.

 

Thanks to each one for your comments.
Yes, it was indeed an introspection about the past decisions taken in my life. The role played by horoscopes and the people who play with horoscopes to reject proposals. I was thinking that if this proposal had come to me after the many rejections, may be I would not have given that importance to looks and accepted it.

I had felt a good connect with his mother and sister and wanted to talk to them. But was surrounded with so many relatives from my side, who would judge me for talking to them. Had I met him in person in some other place I would have had a friendly chat enquiring about his family and life and would have kept contacts with him as a friend for life.

Whatever is destined will happen no matter whom we marry.

So many proposals had come and gone. I don't even remember any of their face. Its only bcos there is a common relative who share news about them unintentionally and i happened to see them at the wedding ,that this incident was recollected. And also a guilt that I rejected him made me difficult to interact with the grandparents. I feel that I insulted them.

Anyways, past is past. Feel better after sharing this incident.