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A Letter To A Son Entering University(from A Stay-at-home Mom)

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by anushri, Jul 11, 2018.

  1. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    @anushri i could because mine is a long distance, with health issues that can be written into books, and a extra attention,effort requiring son due to his being in the mild austistic spectrum boundaries and raising him as a rounded gentleman. Have a daughter too but it is not the number of kids that influence these pangs, it is more our emotional attachment. We find it hard to cut off cords, though the practical mind knows it. No book, no other's experience can equate to what you expeeience or will experience. But sharinf our experiences brings a solace.
    One of the reasons i used to share kiddo's experiences and antics in swethasri thread, just to say we have hope, do what is needed.

    One of the reasons, i say you need to be your priority now is, your son has a life of his own, will be pulled to all sides if you fall sick or need support.


    And i would say this generation too feels and has emotions. Just because they are into whatsapp and digital emoji's let us not discount their attachments

    . The best thing now is to be active, learning to be at peace, being happy. Being in solitude ais not wrong but wallowing abput beinf alone is wrong. Cook for just you..it is ok to miss the family but i have learnt if I dont make myself to my priority list, i wont be in anybody's list..no expectations and just be a learner for life is my motto.

    Just ignore people who tell you, hou have it all easy, nobody would know the struggles that happen behind closed doors..

    Keep penning and you will be back to watching movies and having fun and waiting for his visits
     
    Laks09, shravs3, anushri and 4 others like this.
  2. Agatha83

    Agatha83 Finest Post Winner

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    Dear anushri,

    Kudos to your wonderful piece of writing, which was not only a powerful piece of narration, but a heart wrenching one too.
    There are many challenges in bringing up a child, and by the time they reach the teens, we are in to a host of physical challenges like menopause etc. During these times we become emotional and crave for support and comforting words from our near and dear ones. But reality is diferrent and harsh also.
    I sent my only daughter overseas at the age of 16 when she got a scholarship, in spite of scores of advice from my near and dear ones, asking me not to send her because of her tender age. I never regret my decision till now, for now she being the product engineer of a leading software firm, is capable of making her own decisions, leading a very responsible life. So give your children the freedom to lead their life, and you will be happy to see a beautiful butterfly coming out from a dull pupa, fluttering it’s colourful wings. The nest is never empty because unlike the birds, our children always come back to us, whenever we need them! Now put on a big smile and face the challenges heroically :blush:

    Agatha83
     
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  3. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:That is almost a vote of thanks.
    2. And I am happy that your boy is talking calmly and listening now to you patiently indicates more maturity and aplomb being the result of growing and learning to think independently.
    Thanks & Regards.
    God Bless your son & you Sister always with robust health.
     
    anushri likes this.
  4. kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you Sir.
     
  5. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:@sindmani @joylokhi@Sofea@anushri
    It is a welcome relief that you liked my FB. Thanks .
    GOD BLESS.
     
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  6. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

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    @anushri ,
    Very well expressed your emotions through your post and I can feel it. One-day I Wil be in your position and thinking itself make me sad. I read a few of fb written by ILites Now I have assurance of I will be okay in futute.:) Thank you for sharing here.
     
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  7. RatnaMalliswari

    RatnaMalliswari Silver IL'ite

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    Hello,For woman when she is kid her first friends are her parents especially father,then after growing siblings thereafter life partner then kids, especially the love and affection mother when she showers over kid they occupy very secure and protective place in mother world unknowingly they become so close the difference is made when they move out either for further education or marriage etc.In this relation they get subscribe without any demand such a lovely relation of kids with parents.i realized when I left my mom after marriage.parents are god gifted.we can choose any relation but one only relation which god gives is our lovely parents.
    Regards
    RatnaMalliswari
     
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  8. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @anushri,

    Excellent narration and from the heart! Everyone who have adult children have experienced this empty next syndrome. Like you, I had also written excellent letters to my son to overcome his absence at home.

    Eventually, I realized all my efforts to raise him up to that level is to make him a fine human being and a very successful professional. Reactions of missing him became visualization of bright future. One thing I learned during orientation in the University is to keep my son's things in tact the same way he placed them at home. That is something all children watch in order to feel how much they are present in our hearts.

    Over a period of time, I learned to leave a message or text message so that he could call me whenever it is convenient to him. Despite his assurance that the would be safe on the road, I always ask him to send me a text after reaching the destination and he is fulfilling that request until now. They enjoy such care internally even though they don't express it outwardly/emotionally. A hug before leaving home and "I love you" to conclude telephonic conversations are essential for the emotional well-being of not only the parents but also the adult children.

    Viswa
     
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  9. anushri

    anushri IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Jayasala,
    Thanks a lot for the quote and explanation. Its enlightening.
     
  10. anushri

    anushri IL Hall of Fame

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    @kkrish Thanks for these words. I narrated the above to one of my friends who is helping me to fight this phase. She said that its bitter truth and its high time we need to start accepting the reality... I am still digesting it.
     
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