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A Letter To A Son Entering University(from A Stay-at-home Mom)

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by anushri, Jul 11, 2018.

  1. HazelPup

    HazelPup Platinum IL'ite

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    @anushri oh no you got me wrong. You are hurting now. Forget my post. Your post brought a lump in my throat and moistened my eyes too. Cheer up. All the best to your kid. Take care.
     
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  2. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    @anushri
    Oh, this is a poem in prose form. Packed with feelings.
    My mum would often tell me that detachment should be part of your feeling of attachment. When my daughters got married, I remembered my mother's words and I bade them cheerful farewell with a grin that was returned with bonus back to me! Life has been going on like this for centuries. Please make sure that this kind of emotional relationship does not lead you to acute possessiveness. That will kill all relationships.
     
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  3. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

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    :hello:Stupendous FB.
    2. Young mother to young mom . Wonderful nostalgia.
    3.I thought of my mom sending me to school on the very first day some seven decades ago and my wife and I with eyes tear gathering looked at our young daughter and before that our son as kids on day one to school.
    4. At all stages, all of us, toil with routine - blended always with affection with clock precision regularity - the absence of which drives one to huge rewinds.
    Thanks & Regards .
    GOD showers affection to all through their vigilant nimble brained Moms.
     
  4. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    The first time is always the hardest, and so it is when we part from our loved ones even for short periods. Faced and experienced this empty feeling for the first time, when my elder son, landed a job away from our city immediately after he completed his engineering degree. As it is said 'TIME ' is the only healer and we get used to circumstances we have to face. Although u may acutely feel the longings for sometime, it will do you both good in the long run by letting you lead your life independently.
     
  5. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    This feeling of separation is natural to all parents, when the son leaves for college, or joins some job in some other state or country or when the daughter leaves to her husband's place after marriage.

    When I read your emotional snippet I was reminded of 'Abhignaana Shakunthalam of Kalidasa',4th Act containing 4 shlokas which are the best ones in Sanskrit literature.Here is one of the shlokas which I remember even today after 60 years.We enacted this 4th Act in Sanskrit and I took the role of Kanwa. It was a music drama( Sangeetha Natakam) and I took lot of pains to tune many shlokas in relevant carnatic ragas suited to the emotions expressed by Kalidasa.


    Sage Kanwa who brought up Shakunthala says

    "YAASYAtHYADYA SHAKUNTALETHI HRIDAYAM SAMSPRISHTAM UTHKANTAYA

    KANTA STHAMBHITHA BASHPA VRITHIKHALU

    SHAS CHINTHAJADAM DARSHANAM.

    VAIKLAVYAM MAMA TAVADHEEDRISHAM IDHAM SNEHADH ARARANYOKASAHA

    PEEDHYANTHE GRIHINAH KATHAM NU TANAYAVISHLESHA DHUKHAIRNAVAIHi

    Meaning—At the thought that Shakuntala will go away now, my heart is smitten with melancholy, my throat is choked owing to the flow of tears being suppressed; and my eyes are heavy with anxiety. If such be the grief of a hermit like me dwelling in a forest,, how much more should householders be tormented by the fresh pangs of separation from their daughters.

    Madam, you have rekindled the memories of my student days.Thank you.
    It is just an outburst of emotion, which affects one temporarily and we turn to normalcy very soon.

    Jayasala 42
     
  6. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

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    :hello:I liked the reading and 're reading of the sloakas in Sanskrit and I loved the narration here of kalidasa's description of pangs of separation by sahkundhala.
    Hats off to madam sister for her memory, role played out, an apt FB.
    THANKS AND REGARDS.
     
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  7. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    @anushri,
    You will be fine..as he gets into his course, his new friends and crushes ..and those sparing phone calls, amma i am busy now will call you later, the feeling of content seeing the blue tick is something that becomes part of life and yes amma can you transfer so much lol..

    Mine is now in the 3rd year..his mischief, growing up as a hostelier, tearing his new jeans scrubbing dirt with brush, looking up youtube for folding his shirt to cooking something to carry for his other friends, i have shared in swethasri, my journey with my special kid. Yes mine was and is in the spectrum and i am enjoying every bit of whatever glimpses he shares. He stumbles through.he will be moving out of the country whenever he find his choice match..i am prepping myself..i had a heads up knowing my son wanted this course and it was not available in my city and his moving out was known.

    Having a job or not was a choice we take depending on our situations at that point

    And take up a hobby, it js never late, volunteer if your health permits, i do my part as mine permits..

    Congrats on kiddo moving. Chin up girl. Long distance marriages, managing and health issues wirh or without help is never a easy job. So dont let anybody tell you differently. You did the best you could. Be proud of raising your young man.

    A happy well rounded gentleman who has emphathy towards fellow men especially women is not a easy job..so take a salute from another mom..

    I am never bored..i enjoy what i do. I read a lot, i knit crochet and sometime a coursr
    .so find what works for you. So this is a phase..the moments spring up..as you read something you would have discussed..(i immediately send a message with the clipping, that he maynot read it is something i don't worry) his favorite food..it is ok feel it. It is part of the phase
    .celebrate life..make yourself a priority and take care of your health.

    Keep blogging..be a part of kiddo's journey from a distance .. His.choices,he will make mistakes amd and he will learn. Be there..
    Hugs!!
     
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  8. kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    Sending your child off to college is one of the most bittersweet experiences in life.
    On one side you are proud that your baby has grown into a responsible and good citizen and is out to explore the world and achieve great heights.
    On the other side you know you are going to miss the day-to-day interactions of spending every available moment with them. The pleasure of having them walking around the home, at meal times, movie times, and so many occasions.
    For me cooking was tough. For months I never cooked many dishes, because my heart would cry inside saying "why do I want to eat this when my child is eating some bland meal somewhere".

    It was at that time I again sought my "manaseega" mentor, who else but Erma Bombeck, and gained some solace from her words.
    I hope this helps you some. The pain is always there @anushri. For me even now.

    "Children Are Like Kites
    You spend years trying to get them off the ground.
    You run with them until you are both breathless. They crash ... they hit the roof ... you patch, comfort and assure them that someday they will fly.
    Finally, they are airborne.
    They need more string, and you keep letting it out.
    They tug, and with each twist of the twine, there is sadness that goes with joy.
    The kite becomes more distant, and you know it won't be long before that beautiful creature will snap the lifeline that binds you together and will soar as meant to soar ... free and alone.
    Only then do you know that you have done your job.” -
    Erma Bombeck
     
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  9. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

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    :hello:It is a thoughtful FB touching OP sensibilities with colourful peacock feather.
    How I wish to be transformed into a kite!
    Thanks and Regards.
    God lends succour to every kite tied to its mother by an interminable string.
     
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  10. anayasree

    anayasree Senior IL'ite

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    Dear anushri,

    I am a working mom of a 9 month old son. Yesterday I was so tired I kept telling my DH i am waiting for the day I can sleep as long as I want, when would he turn 18. I read your post today morning and could not control my tears. I am crying right now hoping no on sees me in my office. I'm gonna cherish each and every moment with my son. Such a lovely post! Thanks a lot for writing this :)
     
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2018

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