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A Family Of Friends!!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Rajeni, Feb 28, 2017.

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Mar 3, 2017 #11

Rajeni Moderator Platinum IL'ite

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maggi32 said: ↑

Laggin behind with lotta things.......puttin my pink towel for late FB.

Rajeni loved every bit of ur narration....will get back with couple of memories lateru.
Click to expand...

Hehe.. Welcome Maggi girly! Thank you!! Do share those memories.. waiting

Rajeni, Mar 3, 2017

Rajeni, Mar 3, 2017

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Mar 3, 2017 #12

Agatha83 IL Hall of Fame

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Rajeni said: ↑

It was almost a month before my marriage date. My parents were busy in sending the invitation, checking and cross-checking the list of guests whom should receive the invite and also there is the mode of inviting. Though most of the invites are sent out in post, there is this close circle of relatives and friends who should be invited in person. On that particular day, my dad was preparing for one such travel. He had to travel south, all the way to Kanyakumari and then on his way back had to stop at Madurai.

“Is Maami still in Madurai?” My dad asked suddenly while packing.

“Not sure, long back when we were in touch, I heard her sons have moved out of Madurai. I even remember hearing that the second one has settled in Chennai” My Mom replied.

“Because of your ego, you lost contact” my dad commented.

My mom glared at him and went into the Kitchen. “What does he know? He doesn’t even know what happened. All he knows is to blame me! Who stopped him from being in touch? How much I respected Maami and how much I loved her sons, they were like my own brothers” my Mom lamented in a less audible tone.

I vaguely remembered ‘Ammachchi’ (maternal granny), who my Mom addressed as Maami and the uncles visiting our home and we visiting theirs years ago. I even remembered that Uncles used to call me ‘Kutty’. We were in touch till I was in 10th class.

Thirty-five years ago, when my parents were newly married, they were our neighbours. Due to my Dad’s state government job, post marriage my Mom went to live in the city he worked. The elderly couple next door had four sons. Since they did not have a daughter, my Mom was more like a daughter to them and their sons treated her like an elder sister. Especially the elderly man ( I call him ‘Thatha’) was very fond of this daughter. There was another young couple (a few years elder to my parents) nearby, they had two little kids then and that woman Amutha was also treated as the elder sister by the Boys. The two sisters and four brothers had gala time together and with time the three families grew closer and their relationship strengthened. Even after my parents moved to a different place, the friendship continued to grow. When I was born (late child) , I called them Ammachchi, Thatha and Mamas. Amutha and her husband became Periamma and Periappa to me.

“Are you planning to invite them?” I asked.

“Of course, yes! We will send the invitation to the home address in Madurai. Hopefully, Maami should still be there” my Mom said eagerly.

“Why don’t you go in person Dad? Anyway you are going to Madurai”

“Do you remember where their house is?” My Mom chirped in eagerly.

“Why wouldn’t I?” My Dad said and continued, “That sounds better. I can even enquire in the neighbourhood if I don’t find them there”

So, it was decided that my Dad would visit them and invite them in person. That night I asked my Mom what happened between us to lose touch. My Mom had lent money to one of the sons and when I attained Puberty my Mom informed them and eagerly waited for them. She counted on these brothers so much due to the problems her own brothers created, but they did not turn up. She was frustrated and called Ammachchi. She misunderstood that my Mom called for the money and mentioned something on those lines. That was enough to upset and hurt my Mother and she did not contact them after that. We moved to a different city after two years given my Dad’s job. I remembered how affectionate the Uncles were and thought it would be nice to meet them all again. Though things may not be same as before, still we can be in touch, I thought.

A couple of days later, in the late evening, my Dad called my Mom from Madurai. ‘I just spoke to Suresh (the youngest Uncle). He is in Chennai only. I gave your number, he might call you’ his voice boomed. My Mom’s phone rang immediately after my Dad’s call. It was Suresh Mama. My mother sobbed, laughed and scolded him. They spoke on and on. After his call, Kandha Mama(the second Uncle) called. Again the same episode with him as well. After him the elder one, Govind mama called. All of them spoke to me as well.

The very next day Suresh mama visited us. The moment my Mom opened the door, he touched her feet. My mom pulled him up and embracing him said, ‘You didn’t change at all’. ‘Of course, why would I? You are the elder sister always’ he replied. He apologized to my Mother for not being with her for all those years. Later, while talking we learnt that, during the time when my Mom called Ammachchi, the situation was very bad at their home. Suresh Mama was bankrupt with lot of loans and there were a lot of other issues going on. He also mentioned how they searched for us after things got better. They found contacts in our home town to enquire about us, visited the place we last lived to get our present address, searched for me in Social Media all without success. We learnt that Amutha periamma was also living in Chennai, that too just around 3 KM away from our home. The next few days my Mom was busy talking to her brothers and sister frequently. Latha chithi (Aunt) also joined the group, she lived near Ammachi’s house before my Mom moved in there. Having heard the others talk about our family for all these years, she got along so well. She became the youngest among the sisters.

Having met before my marriage, everyone said, we were united again ‘at the right time’. Ten days before my wedding, Mamas had hosted a ‘Naal Virundhu’ function ( a function that the Maternal Uncles do for the girl before wedding) at our place. All Mamas with their wifes, Amutha Periamma, her daughter Priya Akka with her husband and kids, Latha chithi, her son Raja Anna and his wife Padma gathered at our place and it was a grand function. Mamas gifted me with Saree and jewels just like the maternal uncles do traditionally. It was such a wonderful get-together. Happiness overflowed at every corner of my house.

Did I even think that things might not be same as before? Of course not! It was much greater. I am still ‘Kutty’ for them and I can count on Mamas more than I could count on any relative of mine. Esp. with Suresh Mama, I talk and share things, which I hesitate to even discuss with my own friends. When I was down, Mamas even planned and executed a weekend trip for me. The friendship continues in the next generation too between me, Priya akka, Raja anna and Padma.

Thus, the 35 year old friendship is continuing healthily growing much stronger with each passing day and the most beautiful part is that this family accepts each other as they are. We know each others’ flaws, but that never mattered! I need not act in front of them, coz somehow I am sure they love me. I have never feared at any situation what Mama might think, coz somehow I know Mamas will understand. In short, I trust them and know that they trust me! All I pray is for this wonderful relationship to continue forever!
Click to expand...

Dear Rajeni,

What a beautiful snippet you have posted here. Going through your writing I could only sigh with some painful feelings, because of all my relationships gone awry due to clash of egos between people close to me. There may be difference of opinions, misunderstandings between people but only if one is ready to let their ego down, there is a chance of any friendship or relationship to bloom. May God bless you to continue with all your precious friendships forever.

Agatha83

Agatha83, Mar 3, 2017

Agatha83, Mar 3, 2017

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Mar 4, 2017 #13

Rajeni Moderator Platinum IL'ite

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Agatha83 said: ↑

Dear Rajeni,

What a beautiful snippet you have posted here. Going through your writing I could only sigh with some painful feelings, because of all my relationships gone awry due to clash of egos between people close to me. There may be difference of opinions, misunderstandings between people but only if one is ready to let their ego down, there is a chance of any friendship or relationship to bloom. May God bless you to continue with all your precious friendships forever.

Agatha83
Click to expand...

Thanks a lot dear Agatha for your precious blessing and for sharing your thoughts.. Every person has such broken relationships which were not rebuild coz of mere ego!! In fact most of the relationships we build fall apart for some petiest reason and all we could do sometimes was to watch helplessly!
But some relationships pass the testing times and evolve much stronger and you will definitely encounter such miracles in the days to come!! After all, what is life without miracles!!

Rajeni, Mar 4, 2017

Rajeni, Mar 4, 2017

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Mar 4, 2017 #14

LakshmiKMBhat Gold IL'ite

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Rajeni said: ↑

It was almost a month before my marriage date. My parents were busy in sending the invitation, checking and cross-checking the list of guests whom should receive the invite and also there is the mode of inviting. Though most of the invites are sent out in post, there is this close circle of relatives and friends who should be invited in person. On that particular day, my dad was preparing for one such travel. He had to travel south, all the way to Kanyakumari and then on his way back had to stop at Madurai.

“Is Maami still in Madurai?” My dad asked suddenly while packing.

“Not sure, long back when we were in touch, I heard her sons have moved out of Madurai. I even remember hearing that the second one has settled in Chennai” My Mom replied.

“Because of your ego, you lost contact” my dad commented.

My mom glared at him and went into the Kitchen. “What does he know? He doesn’t even know what happened. All he knows is to blame me! Who stopped him from being in touch? How much I respected Maami and how much I loved her sons, they were like my own brothers” my Mom lamented in a less audible tone.

I vaguely remembered ‘Ammachchi’ (maternal granny), who my Mom addressed as Maami and the uncles visiting our home and we visiting theirs years ago. I even remembered that Uncles used to call me ‘Kutty’. We were in touch till I was in 10th class.

Thirty-five years ago, when my parents were newly married, they were our neighbours. Due to my Dad’s state government job, post marriage my Mom went to live in the city he worked. The elderly couple next door had four sons. Since they did not have a daughter, my Mom was more like a daughter to them and their sons treated her like an elder sister. Especially the elderly man ( I call him ‘Thatha’) was very fond of this daughter. There was another young couple (a few years elder to my parents) nearby, they had two little kids then and that woman Amutha was also treated as the elder sister by the Boys. The two sisters and four brothers had gala time together and with time the three families grew closer and their relationship strengthened. Even after my parents moved to a different place, the friendship continued to grow. When I was born (late child) , I called them Ammachchi, Thatha and Mamas. Amutha and her husband became Periamma and Periappa to me.

“Are you planning to invite them?” I asked.

“Of course, yes! We will send the invitation to the home address in Madurai. Hopefully, Maami should still be there” my Mom said eagerly.

“Why don’t you go in person Dad? Anyway you are going to Madurai”

“Do you remember where their house is?” My Mom chirped in eagerly.

“Why wouldn’t I?” My Dad said and continued, “That sounds better. I can even enquire in the neighbourhood if I don’t find them there”

So, it was decided that my Dad would visit them and invite them in person. That night I asked my Mom what happened between us to lose touch. My Mom had lent money to one of the sons and when I attained Puberty my Mom informed them and eagerly waited for them. She counted on these brothers so much due to the problems her own brothers created, but they did not turn up. She was frustrated and called Ammachchi. She misunderstood that my Mom called for the money and mentioned something on those lines. That was enough to upset and hurt my Mother and she did not contact them after that. We moved to a different city after two years given my Dad’s job. I remembered how affectionate the Uncles were and thought it would be nice to meet them all again. Though things may not be same as before, still we can be in touch, I thought.

A couple of days later, in the late evening, my Dad called my Mom from Madurai. ‘I just spoke to Suresh (the youngest Uncle). He is in Chennai only. I gave your number, he might call you’ his voice boomed. My Mom’s phone rang immediately after my Dad’s call. It was Suresh Mama. My mother sobbed, laughed and scolded him. They spoke on and on. After his call, Kandha Mama(the second Uncle) called. Again the same episode with him as well. After him the elder one, Govind mama called. All of them spoke to me as well.

The very next day Suresh mama visited us. The moment my Mom opened the door, he touched her feet. My mom pulled him up and embracing him said, ‘You didn’t change at all’. ‘Of course, why would I? You are the elder sister always’ he replied. He apologized to my Mother for not being with her for all those years. Later, while talking we learnt that, during the time when my Mom called Ammachchi, the situation was very bad at their home. Suresh Mama was bankrupt with lot of loans and there were a lot of other issues going on. He also mentioned how they searched for us after things got better. They found contacts in our home town to enquire about us, visited the place we last lived to get our present address, searched for me in Social Media all without success. We learnt that Amutha periamma was also living in Chennai, that too just around 3 KM away from our home. The next few days my Mom was busy talking to her brothers and sister frequently. Latha chithi (Aunt) also joined the group, she lived near Ammachi’s house before my Mom moved in there. Having heard the others talk about our family for all these years, she got along so well. She became the youngest among the sisters.

Having met before my marriage, everyone said, we were united again ‘at the right time’. Ten days before my wedding, Mamas had hosted a ‘Naal Virundhu’ function ( a function that the Maternal Uncles do for the girl before wedding) at our place. All Mamas with their wifes, Amutha Periamma, her daughter Priya Akka with her husband and kids, Latha chithi, her son Raja Anna and his wife Padma gathered at our place and it was a grand function. Mamas gifted me with Saree and jewels just like the maternal uncles do traditionally. It was such a wonderful get-together. Happiness overflowed at every corner of my house.

Did I even think that things might not be same as before? Of course not! It was much greater. I am still ‘Kutty’ for them and I can count on Mamas more than I could count on any relative of mine. Esp. with Suresh Mama, I talk and share things, which I hesitate to even discuss with my own friends. When I was down, Mamas even planned and executed a weekend trip for me. The friendship continues in the next generation too between me, Priya akka, Raja anna and Padma.

Thus, the 35 year old friendship is continuing healthily growing much stronger with each passing day and the most beautiful part is that this family accepts each other as they are. We know each others’ flaws, but that never mattered! I need not act in front of them, coz somehow I am sure they love me. I have never feared at any situation what Mama might think, coz somehow I know Mamas will understand. In short, I trust them and know that they trust me! All I pray is for this wonderful relationship to continue forever!
Click to expand...

Wonderful and I am glad. OUr best wishes, regards, Lakshmi Bhat

LakshmiKMBhat, Mar 4, 2017

LakshmiKMBhat, Mar 4, 2017

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Mar 4, 2017 #15

maggi32 IL Hall of Fame

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I was close to this cousin X from young age. Due to some family matter we had a terrible fight and never spoke with each other for 5-6 years. We ourselves donno what went wrong nor whom to blame for that incident. I missed him badly but never tot of initiating the talk from my end. Last year all of were busy clicking snaps at one more cousins wedding. All of a sudden i m hearing a known voice: Cousin X is singing a Tamil song in Orchestra {April Madam movie song: manase manase mansil baro, nanbar kuto periyu nero --- Oh dear Heart time has come to depart}. I m controlling my tears {i knw i never get one droplet also even while chopping onions} and this cameraman is busy focusing the projector screen btwn my face & eyes . He s zooming my cousins teary eyes......aiyooo....kodume samy ! Yes, we patched up in filmy style

I m happy he made that lovely gesture

PS: half my bank balance gone in the name of Giftu post patch up

Yep, time to let go of that ego.

maggi32, Mar 4, 2017

maggi32, Mar 4, 2017

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Mar 4, 2017 #16

maggi32 IL Hall of Fame

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Rajeni said: ↑

I am still ‘Kutty’ for them and I can count on Mamas more than I could count on any relative of mine. Esp. with Suresh Mama, I talk and share things, which I hesitate to even discuss with my own friends.
Click to expand...

If i were u : i wud have made all mama's buy me a truckload of ice cream

maggi32, Mar 4, 2017

maggi32, Mar 4, 2017

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Mar 4, 2017 #17

maggi32 IL Hall of Fame

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GoogleGlass said: ↑

I did guess the reason for the disappearance of them for your function and that was it when reading through.
Click to expand...

Howu howu ?

maggi32, Mar 4, 2017

maggi32, Mar 4, 2017

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Mar 4, 2017 #18

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maggi32 said: ↑

Howu howu ?
Click to expand...

kidney functioned abnormally

GoogleGlass, Mar 4, 2017

GoogleGlass, Mar 4, 2017

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Mar 8, 2017 #19

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How Good and lovely at that very moment would be..bless you all.

--PS

peddadas, Mar 8, 2017

peddadas, Mar 8, 2017

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Mar 9, 2017 #20

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Loved your narration. Stay blessed dear and all the best for your wedding.

GOD BLESS ur wonderful and loving family.

VaniVyas, Mar 9, 2017

VaniVyas, Mar 9, 2017

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