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"A Different Life"

Discussion in 'Stories (Fiction)' started by Mohur, Feb 2, 2012.

  1. Mohur

    Mohur Gold IL'ite

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    When I was young and hated to go to school, my mother would always tell me that one day I would find ‘education’ was the only thing that could liberate me in life. Whenever she made me sit and do my homework or study for my exams, she would keep chanting, ‘This is going to be your ticket to a different life. You don’t want one like mine. You’ll see… you will be free and then you will thank me for putting you through this.’ At first I was too young to understand what she meant. Then I was a rebelling teenager to whom her mother was the ‘bad guy’ in real life and I did not have a moment to understand her motivations. Soon I was too wrapped up in my own life to give a second thought to what she meant and what she wanted for me.


    Today, I am turning 40. I have already lived through a big part of my life – I would like to think more than half. I have seen see a lot of places and people. I have had my share of ups and downs of life and I have gathered a lot of experience. Experience of learning from my mistakes and triumphs and also from the mistakes of those around me. Today, I am turning 40. I am married to a ‘very successful’ man; I am a mother of two most beautiful children and an efficient home maker.

    I had met my husband in college and have been together ever since. We had even done our Masters in Business Administration together, with same majors. We had the same ambition and the same drive. ‘We both want the same things from life,’ he had said. ‘Nobody else can understand this need better. Why wait? Let’s get married and be together to support each other.’ We had eloped and gotten married straight out of the University. I remember our initial struggle. For the first five years we had worked hard to make the ends meet and build some sort of life for ourselves. We had finally reached a stage of stability in life, but our long hours had taken us away from each other. We hardly knew the person we had become and knew even less about the other.

    Things changed again when I got pregnant and found out that we were going to have twins. We started working harder and even longer hours. In the fifth month of my pregnancy, he said, “Why don’t you take a break from your job? The job, home and now the twins. It is too much stress. I am going to call your mother to come stay with us and you quit your job. Just sit back and relax. You need to think about your health and you have to think about the health of the babies as well. All this stress cannot be good for them. You can always get back to work later.” So I quit my job. Since then my life has changed completely.

    Every mother likes to think that their child is the best and most beautiful thing on this earth. I do so too. But I do not mean their physical appearance; they have the best from both of us and while we are both average looking, our children are beautiful. But I actually meant about their personality, their nature and their temperament. They hardly ever fuss or fight. They are very adaptable and most sensitive about their surroundings… They know the importance of a good education and excel in their classes. My son enjoys playing the guitar while my daughter loves to sing. I revel in their talents.

    Personally my life has become very monotonous and predictable. My mornings start with the rush of school & office. The day passes on with washing & cleaning. Evenings are busy with homework and preparation of dinner. My husband usually arrives at the nick of time for dinner. After a family dinner and discussion of each person’s highlight of the day, the kitchen beckons me for one last clean down. By the time I am done cleaning, checking on the kids and a shower to wash off the day’s exhaustion, I find my husband snoring slightly on his side of the bed.

    Today as I turn 40, I look back over my shoulders to the days that have gone by. I see all the forks in my life where my decisions took me towards one and away from the other. I can see all the failures and I can see all my triumphs. I can see how, when and where the priorities in my life had changed. I can see what I had wanted to be and what I had become. I finally realized what I always wanted to be like – everything that my mother was not; a practical career woman who was totally independent. I can see what I had become – everything that she was; a sentimental and emotional housewife whose whole world revolved around her husband and children.

    Today as I turn 40, I find myself looking back at the little girl whose mother kept telling her that education would bring her freedom. I finally have the time and maturity to understand her motivations. So I ask myself, am I anymore free than she was? Do I have a ‘different life’?
     
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  2. Tweety

    Tweety Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Mohur,
    Your experience is what is happening to most of the women. In your words I see myself in another 10, 15 years. I did my B.E, got a Job in Bank, resigned the job for my marriage, after 1 year struggle got a job in my new location, After lot of unforgettable sad moments got conceived ad now blessed with a baby boy and now am a full time mom searching for baby recipes and baby activities, cooking hubby what he likes. But I tell you ,I can see you as a successful women marrying the person you love the most and a mother of wonderful twins (boy and girl at one go-how many will get such a blessing). All these days you are fully occupied with your hubby and children.Suddenly you realise that you are not what you wanted. Realization is what needed to make some change and never let this fire go off. I pray to God you get what you wanted. I had a manager who after 15 years gap(for bringing up her children) managed to get a job in MNC and there on she was moving steadily up. Its never too late. Cheer up and Explore your new world.
     
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  3. Pallavi4me

    Pallavi4me Platinum IL'ite

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    Wonderfully written piece this is.. simple words but have a greater meaning & importace.. Loved it.. and can feel it too...

    The these lines are very true and tocuhed my heart and through out reading this..




    my mom's image came infront of my eyes.. and i want to add a few lines of my thought here.. its not wrong being sentimental & emotional and at the same time you can be practical also whenever required and still you have the chance to do and achieve heights in your ownway in whatever you want to do


    Just to quote the eg: i knew a women who has quit her successful dance for the sake of family & kids and then she retook the passion after kid turned 15/16 and became one of the most praised and honoured in her field.. she still lives her life with her passion


    and apart from this whatever you have portrayed is the strict reality and is happening with most of the women despite of the good education and capability of reaching heights in profession.. but ultimately for us its family that matters.. and even upon being successful we may feel missed out on family front if we cannot give time to kids.. and only thru your dedication to family only.. your husband has become "succesful" in his field


    Good luck to you..
     
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  4. Mohur

    Mohur Gold IL'ite

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    THANK YOU Tweety and Pallavi4me for loving and commenting on my work.

    This is not my story. This is a work of fiction and a piece of my imagination. I am just 28 and been married for only a month. :) But the fact that when you read it, you felt as if I am narrating my own story to you -- its the best compliment ever.

    THANK YOU once again for not only taking time to read my post but also to leave a review.
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2012
  5. Pallavi4me

    Pallavi4me Platinum IL'ite

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    if its imaginary story.. you really have a great skill in writing.. kudos to you.. way to go
     
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  6. mathu903

    mathu903 Gold IL'ite

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    I really dont know what to say about you Mohur!
    From your Harry Potter series I imagined you to be a youngster of twenties but when I read this piece I could not believe that it was a piece of fiction and it felt as though you were narrating your feelings..
    Amazing flow of thoughts and impeccable language!
    But, the post has had a profound impact on me. I completed my B.E, joined a MNC for work and been working for the past 6 years. In between, got married and have a kid of 4 years. Now the child is missing his mom and pestering me to drop him at school. One day I took off from work just for his sake and dropped him at school and the joy he had was worth seeing.
    He kept telling me that I should do it everyday. For now, I have convinced him that Amma cannot come daily but will come once in a while.
    Now, just thinking back about my mom, she left her job to take care of me. Do I want to "be different" from her or follow her path and give happiness to my son.
    Where does true happiness lye for me? I am still thinking. Hope I get my answer soon.
     
  7. Mohur

    Mohur Gold IL'ite

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    Thank You Mathu903 For your kind words.

    I think that while growing up, we have a different set of priorities. We, who have housewives for a mom, often feel that we would never be able to sacrifice our wants/needs/dreams for anyone else. My mom gave up her job because I had once told her in a 'very small voice' that I wished she would be at home when I came back from school. Now that we are more 'advanced' and 'career oriented', we think that we would never be able to do the same sacrifices. But I guess that we are all "women" in the end and our basic instinct is to take care of others first. And whether we ever admit it openly or not -- we all want to be like our "Mothers". I just wanted to explore that feeling of wanting to be different yet the same...

    I hope you find you answers soon Mathu903 -- for your son and more importantly for yourself.
     
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  8. mathu903

    mathu903 Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks a lot for those kind words Mohur..
     
  9. Madhumidha

    Madhumidha Gold IL'ite

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    Wonderful narration!!!
    Heart touching !!!
     
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  10. sapthu02

    sapthu02 Gold IL'ite

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    This was a wonderful narration.. ur life and ur ups and downs.. yet.. so true.. after another 15 years i would also be the same way like you and look back.....
    :)
     

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