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A Desi Mom!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by meenasankaran, Feb 2, 2012.

  1. meenasankaran

    meenasankaran Platinum IL'ite

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    “You are SUCH a Desi Mom”. At her wits’ end one day over one of our daily routine arguments, my daughter hurled the words at me in exasperation and stomped off upstairs to sulk in the sanctuary of her restroom.

    What?? Hold it right there buster. Was that supposed to be an insult? Tsk, tsk, tsk…. you poor baby!

    I have seen better punch in a fizzled-out coke. As I happen to be a Mom with so many deep roots in India as to shame a Banyan Tree into drooping its branches, I naturally fall under the proud race that is commonly referred to as Desis. Given this fact, I hope you’ll understand why I clucked my tongue at my daughter’s receding back with pity. As exits go, it wasn’t her best. Poor child!

    To my surprise, subsequent conversations with fellow Desi moms brought to light an interesting fact. Apparently all our children have been drawing from the same well of insults all these years, pitiful as it is. After one of our recent ‘sob and tell’ parenting woes sessions, we discovered that we had all, at some point, been at the receiving end of some form or the other of the following accusation.


    1. · Why do you have to be SUCH A MOM? (a cry of agony)
    2. · YOU DESIS! (in utter disgust)
    3. · God! You are such a Desi. (also uttered in extreme disgust)
    4. · God! You are such a Mom. (???)

    In keeping with the spirit of the theme, they also use ‘You Asians’ every now and then.

    Lately, I find myself pondering a lot about what it is about a Desi Mom/parent that brings out such eye-rolling exasperation in our kids. Why do we push our kids into tearing out their poor, unoiled hair roots so much? Here are a few reasons from the top of my head.


    • A Desi Mom loses more than her sleep over a ‘B’ grade on her child’s report card. At times she loses control over her bowels too.
    • A Desi Mom believes in regularly checking with her fellow Desi moms about all the academic and after-school pursuits of their offsprings. After all, she does not want her child to be deprived of any such advantages.
    • A Desi Mom manages to find time every day to fit at least 3 lectures to her children about the importance of Studies, especially science and math, in one’s life.
    • A Desi Mom will silently thank her stars when the US public school system offers to take responsibility for talking about puberty and other unmentionable subjects to her kids in school. She also breaks out a sweat when her child gets home and wants to discuss those unmentionable subjects to her.
    • A Desi Mom is a stickler for organization. Her children never are.
    • A Desi Mom hates the word ‘boyfriend’ as fiercely as she does ‘dating’, ‘drugs’, ‘alcohol’ and ‘cigarettes’. She will not hesitate to give her life to protect her children from these evil ‘boyfriends’.
    • A Desi Mom loves to play dress-up whether her child wants to play or not. She will hound her daughter over 10 each busy school morning until she picks a shirt that reveals no more than her upper collarbone for this world to see.
    • A Desi Mom is inquisitive by nature. She insists on knowing the background of every human that interacts with her child. She doesn’t understand why her child thinks it is insulting.
    • A Desi Mom strongly feels her children do not know the value of money. She worries about their materialistic attitude even as she showers them regularly with unnecessary games and gifts. ‘Money does not grow on trees’ is a phrase that all Desi children are familiar with.
    • A Desi Mom expects no less than complete obedience/respect from her children even when she packs them off to a school that encourages them to ask questions. ‘Because I say so’ is a phrase she uses often at home.
    [FONT=&quot]Well! That is just from the top of my head.[/FONT]

    [FONT=&quot]While I believe a lot of the characteristics that I have listed here may suit an unlabeled, regular 'Mom" as well, I believe we Desis are blessed with just a little bit more irritable traits to earn this very unique 'Desi Mom' title from our children. Here, at the end of this very weird essay, I am proud to raise my cup of hot rasam in a salute to all my fellow 'Desi' moms. :) [/FONT]

    [FONT=&quot]Go Desis! [/FONT]
     
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  2. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hello Meena
    So nice to see you back here.... it is too late will come back tomorrow and give a FB seeing your name just peeped in.
    So after the Desi boys you have come up with Desi mom's.....:biggrin2:
     
  3. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    dear Meena,

    Tell me can feb get any better? First this lovely warm weather and then your snippet. Reading it I realized how much I have missed you! So first of all a big welcome back.....stay, stay please stay.

    Ha ha desi moms - I am not yet one I think, no don't jump to conclusions....I'll be there seeking you out when my kids are a little older :) I hear you for I hear the same things from other moms, from now on identified as desi moms.....and hey you forgot to add the way the kids mimic our Indian english when they are really upset what with our rolling rrrrrrrs and all.

    Oh as politically incorrect as this may seem, I do have to tell you this - recently I heard one mom call her now almost 26 yr old daughter a coconut....brown on the outside and white on the inside......somehow I can't seem to not disagree with this.....look at all the desimom qualities you mentioned from our kids' perspective!

    As always enjoyed it Meena....
     
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  4. hemalathaK

    hemalathaK Platinum IL'ite

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    You just made me laugh like anything reading your post while I have to admit that all those lines are true to the maximum.Really enjoyed reading it.Thanks for such a wonderful post.
     
  5. sushmavja

    sushmavja Platinum IL'ite

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    this is a wonderful post and very well narrated..cant stop laughing after reading few characteristics of " Desi Mom"..
     
  6. satchitananda

    satchitananda Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Meena, so nice to see you here. Interesting to read about the perspective of kids in the US about their "desi moms" . Can well imagine the exasperation both the desi moms and their "would hate to be desi" kids must be experiencing. Well, that I guess is what adds spice to an otherwise dull, normal routine. They can't live with them, they can't do without each other either. :-D
     
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  7. vishuni

    vishuni Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Meena

    very well written ..I was laughing continuously in office..not able to control.

    I also toast you with Tomato Rasam for this good writeup Desi Mom :)

    -vishuni
     
  8. kelly1966

    kelly1966 Platinum IL'ite

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    hi Meena ..
    absolutely hilarious.. we all face these accusations inspite of staying in India.. so instead of "desi" its "regular" mom.. my teenager son off late because of my constant "interference" in his "matters" often tells me.. "you are becoming like any other MOM !!!..
    well.. some habits are in our DNA..
    K
     
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  9. Soumedh

    Soumedh Silver IL'ite

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    enjoyed reading desi qualities of a desi mom :)
    RGDS
     
  10. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Here cheers to Desi mom's with the hot cuppa of rasam Meena...hehe
    Read your post and went to sleep with a nice smile on the face. DH was asking what happened why are you smiling by yourself and we spoke about your post. :)
    Looks like we desi mom's are over protected then other mom's. When it comes to our kids yes I think we have to become desi Moms. Enjoyed your post it was very hilarous one.
     
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