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9 yrs girl - Study Time

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by Soch, Oct 8, 2013.

  1. Soch

    Soch Silver IL'ite

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    Hi all,

    How long generally nine year old girl study daily? she is in 4th. In my house my father tells that she should study for 4 hrs during holidays and 3 hrs in school days. My daughter is not co-operating with him on this, its creating tension at home. During holidays he would wake her up at 6 and ask her to study till 8 / 9 am. She will study for 1 or max 1.30 mins properly after that she becomes cranky and irrate him a lot. Seeing this i also get irriate and fighting happens. I am fed up of this in a daily basis.

    Previously she was nice and read with interest, now a daysm if he calls her to study, she getting irritated. I have old told her not to do that, go immediately and study fast and then you can play, but she is not doing it.

    In school also she started scoring less. she was A+ but now a days its B grade. I am working, when i go home she wants to come and hug me but he will say finish you study and go, she feels bad. after study time he will ask her to eat, it will take 30 to 40 mins, then she has to sleep by 10. So my time with is not possible. she misses me a lot, for her father also same situation.

    If i talk to my father he things that i trying to teach him, how to teach a kid. He was teacher in higher secondary school.


    I dont know how to handle him.

    Can any one tell am i over reacting. How to handle this situation?

    Thank in advance
     
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  2. luckysangeetha

    luckysangeetha Gold IL'ite

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    speak with her softly and ask whats the issue....don't shout at her.. its not a solution.
     
  3. Soch

    Soch Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you for the reply.

    I spoke to her, she tell that she is missing me. In school also teacher ask me, what happen to her, she was very active last year,this year she is not participating in anything. I asked her what happen, she told that she sweats a lot and feel tired when she reaches school. i gave juice for some days, those days, she tell that she feels better.
     
  4. luckysangeetha

    luckysangeetha Gold IL'ite

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    she is weak... take her to doc and check her vit and minerals checkup
     
  5. AkilaMani

    AkilaMani Local Champion Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Soch,

    The issue is not with your daughter but with your father. Talk to him gently but firmly. If you find it difficult do it, get support from your DH. Pressurizing the child is only going to make her hate studies. Also hugging you when you return from office and spending time with you is as much important as studying. And it will not eat into her study time much.

    A happy child is more open to learning than a sad one. Your father being strict on your daughter maybe one of the reasons for her performance to dropped lately.

    You are the child's mother, remember. Talk to your dad. Also, are you depending on him to take care of your daughter since you are working? is that making it hard to talk to him?

    Best wishes!
     
  6. Haya

    Haya Gold IL'ite

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    my daughter is 10
    she doesn't sit for 3,4 hours for studies
    daily may be 1-1.30 hours and weekends more time as i will also help her to brush up the last week's lessons

    i too agree that its your father who needs to be talked to, not your daughter
    the more we force them, more they will hate studies
    talk to him to not force her too much
    if you dont stand for her, no one else can

    spend some time with her after office hours
    even if 5,10 mnts daily, it matters very much to them
    when i go home my kids will be running to me to tell all the daily happenings
    and just after washing my hands, i sit down and listen to them
    this will take only 10 minutes, do it regularly
    it may help in getting things better
     
  7. Soch

    Soch Silver IL'ite

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    I spoke to him many time, he will not reply anything that time. But he will continue the same. Sometime during the time he force her, i tell him, he will say dont preach me or dont try to change me and shout at me. I am going really mad of this issue.

    Its holiday for her, just now she spoke to me. In morning my father said go out for play at 3, when she asked at 3, he said not now go at 6 , now you sleep. She politley said if i sleep now i am unable to sleep at 10 at night and also i have Karate class at 6. So please allow me to play now. He said angry do what ever you want, you know everything right. Go out now. She was asking what should i do ma now.

    I reallly dont know what to reply.
     
  8. Priya77

    Priya77 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Soch,
    I am sorry but your father is taking studies to the extreme !
    3 to 4 hrs of study for 4th std ???
    My son is in 4th std. His typical study time is 1 hr.

    What is it she studies for soo long ? Just curious.
    My son does HW for 15 mins , and another 30 to 40 mins of revision.

    You need to talk to your dad ...and if possible take up studies yourself.
     
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  9. Chitravivek

    Chitravivek Platinum IL'ite

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    The problem partially lies with you and of course big time on your father.. Why is he forcing a 4th grade kid to study this much.. I can very well understand where this is coming from (being a retired teacher).. Blatant truth- The more you ask her to study the more she will wean away from it.. This is what I would do too if some one keeps on nagging me for anything. If your father will not listen to you then its time for you to think on options for your child's welfare.. You dont want your kid to be loser at the end of the day.. You clearly see she is missing you so first attend that issue,, she will automatically get back to studies and extra activities..

    I strongly suggest you taking control of your kids welfare than anyone else.. I feel bad for the kid than anyone else.. She deservers to play and have more fun that slog on the books for hours.. If you give her space she will prove what she can be.. and yes again ask your father to NOT INTERFERE in your family issues....
     
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  10. satyasrinivas80

    satyasrinivas80 Silver IL'ite

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    So the 9 yr old is getting a 8-9 hours of sleep a night? I wonder if she is getting enough sleep!
    As Chitravivek said, your daughter is missing you so what can you do about it is your concern.
     
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