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8 Yr Old Sleeping In Our Bed

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by Angela123, Oct 14, 2019.

  1. Angela123

    Angela123 Silver IL'ite

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    Hello everyone,
    My kid used to sleep on her own on and off. I moved her to a different bed in our master bedroom so that she practices sleeping separately. When she was around 5, she volunteered herself to sleep in her own room without much fuss. occasionally I will go sleep in her bed when she is sick or she comes to our bed when she has a bad dream. But would go back to normal. I moved to a new house couple months ago and she started coming back to the bed room more frequently in the middle of the night. Her room has a straight view to our bed room, and we keep with bed lights on in her room and our room, so that she can see us if she wakes up in the middle of the night.Since couple weeks she sleeps in our bed. I am not comfortable with it. we have enough cuddles before going to bed and waking up, and we spend a lot of time with her doing things together. I somehow cannot adjust to her sleeping with us now. I feel like it is not normal for an 8 yr old to sleep in between mom and dad. She stalls/ dodges the discussions or suggestions on sleeping in her own room. She puts if off, i will start sleeping in my bed from next monday, and then come monday, she tells lets do it from next week. My husband seems not bothered about any of these. and when I say something strict, she falls back on him and it makes me the bad guy. Am I overthinking? How to deal with this?
     
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  2. meVaidehi

    meVaidehi Platinum IL'ite

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    Did you ask her why she wouldn't sleep in her bed now? As she has been sleeping on her own before, it doesn't seem like she is doing it on purpose. Since it's a new house maybe she is taking time adjusting. Some kids are uncomfortable in a new environment. She might be scared. Talk to her and ask her straight what can you do for her to behave like a big girl she is and sleep in her own room? Maybe some relaxing music night lamp or some room decorations or a picture or something to read will help or you could sleep in her room for a day or two. Don't force her or she will resist even more.
     
  3. Angela123

    Angela123 Silver IL'ite

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    when she started coming in she said she was having bad dreams. right now, no particular reasons given. After brushing, goes straight to our bed and sleeps there. DH encourages, so she kind of ignores me. We got her bed and accessories just like she described. It is a beautiful bedroom, my husband and I make comments like we want to sleep there (and it is honest!!)
     
  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op...first have a talk with your husband.
    You both need to be on the same page.

    If she goes and sleeps in your bed, you both go and sleep in her room if possible.
    May be if she wakes up in the morning and finds you both in her room,she will want to use her room.
    If her room is not comfortable for both of you...just shift there in the morning so that she wakes up and finds you both in her room.

    Other option is to pick her up after she falls asleep and put her in her bed. This is what worked for us most times.
    First few times she may get upset but when it happens enough times,they get used to it.

    If she gets used to waking up there, soon she should be comfortable sleeping there.
     
  5. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    Fix this problem first, then she will start to listen.

    I have had similar experience with my kid too, they just do it because they like it. And when they resist like this, they need a lil bit of push, like both parents telling the kid the same thing. And be a lil strict if they aren’t listening, then the routine will restart.
     
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  6. Angela123

    Angela123 Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you all. I am all prepped to have a talk with DH when I get home,just the two of us.Let us see if that fixes the problem.
     
  7. Angela123

    Angela123 Silver IL'ite

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    Convinced DH, made her sleep in her bed yesterday, she seemed fine and was happy. But she yelled from her bed around 12.30 am , mom where are you? I told we are in our bedroom and she came crying and slept with us. This is going to take a lot more effort than I thought.
     
  8. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    Have happened with me too. When I gave in, it started happening every night.

    What worked ?
    Tell before sleeping, that there will be consequences for disturbing you in the night so no disturbing you or crying, basically say anything to scare them a bit or say in a way they take u seriously.

    Put them back on their bed even at 12:30.

    Being stern even at 12:30, like go back to bed or I will turn off the light or no candy, anything that matters to them.

    It was hard initially, then again the routine restarts.

    Then a while later they come up with something new n we goto do this all over again :roflmao:Just keep going.
     
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