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8 Years Of Married Life This Bro Needs Suggestions

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by reddy2078, Apr 19, 2019.

  1. reddy2078

    reddy2078 Junior IL'ite

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    8 years of Married life with 3 year old kiddo, this Bro needs Suggestions . want to bring back the spark with DW and will need IL Sisters inputs.

    I recently realized that she is getting angry day after day and she is not interested in me for some reason.

    I started doing things differently and trying to be proactive in house hold . Need more inputs
     
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  2. Jamelia02

    Jamelia02 Silver IL'ite

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    Would you please elaborate little more so people can give suggestions accordingly?
    Does he know why she gets angry? Instead of just assuming its because of household stuff, ask him to analyze what made her start being angry? Anything he said or did that hurt her? Or something he dint bother to do for her? Does he support her emotionally? Sometimes women may not discuss things openly but would expect their partner to automatically understand them. To get more insight, give more information.
     
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  3. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    Can you elaborate the problem so that exact and right inputs are given. Managing a 3 yo kid maybe one of the reasons. She may need to dedicate more time to the kid.
    But in any case please elaborate.
     
  4. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Happy to see a husband trying to understand his wife. :clap2:
     
  5. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    I just read through your earlier posts and you seem to be a caring husband that has made sure the wife feels special. Is it possible your wife is just overwhelmed with managing a 3 year old and you are not meeting her expectations in sharing the work ?
    Why would you assume that she has lost interest in you ? The fact that she is angry with you means she is still emotionally invested in you.
    We can provide suggestions based on what you write here but none of us would know what your wife’s POV is . So it’s better you ask her what’s bothering her.
     
  6. messedup

    messedup Gold IL'ite

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    Increase your time with her only. At home or take her out. Time without kid and any other tension of house or anything else. Give her small gifts that can show your love and make her smile. Help her in household and with kid as much as you can. Share your everyday activities with her and talk to her. She too need that spark but everyday work and tensions had made her like that.
     
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  7. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    When you've lost something, and asked anyone about how to find it again, the first questions that anyone would ask:
    • Where/When did you last have that ?
    • How does it look, feel, exhibit itself to you?
    • How do you know that you (ever) had it ?
    • and so on..
    The various early posters who'd like you to elaborate, are asking those above questions.

    8 years of marriage equals the 7-year itch (described as the anguished silent scream: "is this going to be the rest of my life?"), plus one. If there are serious issues, you may need pharmaceutical, and/or other professional help, not just strangers' input from a social forum.
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2019
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  8. peddadas

    peddadas Platinum IL'ite

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    :clap2:.

    Few things to monitor:

    1) Any news disturbed in recent past ?
    2) How is her health -- Vitamin levels ? Thyroid level? Hb Level etc.,
    3) Take a break , go on a vacation.
    4) Try to find a pattern on when and to what is she reacting that way ?
    5) Give her some "ME" time. Keep the kid with you for few hours let her relax, watch movie, read books or roam around for few hours in a week. (If she is willing to).
    6) Try to change the diet, if you think that causes problems.

    I had this problem, tried hard to understand the reason..then I realized it is because of OCD:)facepalm:), that is again because we heard few bad news recently and spent most of my time doing cooking, cleaning and office work. That made my OCD's worse, Example: if house doesnot look clean (at least to a reasonable extent) right after I come back from work like kids school bags, shoes etc., then i used to get irritated , angry, tired etc. and used to scream at my kids and hubby. Poor kids they had back to back classes they used to be in hurry 4 days a week. Then started analyzing , staying calm right after work, first 15 minutes after i reach home, after i say hi to kids and hubby , I spent time on cleaning the most bothering stuff than yelling, kids realised and now they take care of it by the time I reach home though. So now I am kind of getting better, but there is still some more things bothering me..WIP(Work in Process) to understand that. My husband helps a lot at home too.

    I wish you a Good luck and keep IL 'ites updated whenever you can with progress.

    --PS
     

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