7 Year Old Taking Others Things

@focussed
I am sorry for your situation. I can understand how you might feel that your child isn't getting the right lessons of life. But please don't be frustrated and beat your child.

Yes, your child is bringing stuff which isn't his. It's not that your child doesn't know its bad. He does after the repeated talks.
I am sure he is aware he shouldn't bring stuff. Yet he continues to do it... please dig a bit deeper.. and find out if there is an underlying problem.

Maybe he is stressed and even children react or behave differently to stress.

How is the house environment? Are there any new changes? Does he feel neglected..?? Is he doing this to get your attention? How is he being treated among his friends?
How is he coping with school? Is he bringing stuff from particular boys...?? or just in general?
Did the boys tease him or make him feel bad... so he just brought stuff from them?

Please don't beat your child. Talk to him in general. Not pertaining to him bringing stuff... just take him for a walk/ ice cream or any of his fav activity where he can be himself and talk to him in general how things are and find out what he is dealing with.

Yes, no matter what he shouldn't bring other boys stuff. If you resolve the underlying problem I think this situation will resolve itself.

Goodluck

 

Yes. Like @blindpup10 says hitting your child or humiliating him is not going to help. It will make him more secretive and sneaky. Again, lecturing him isn't going to be much use either because it's not like he doesn't know. He does know it's wrong but does it anyway.

Ask him to talk to you about whether something is bothering him. Ask him about how he woild feel if his stiff goes missing. Ask him why he picks up something that's not his. Ask him what he thinks he can do once he has picked up someone else's stuff. Let him come up with a solution. Tell him generally that life is about making choices. Some are easy to make - icecream or bitter gourd. Some take a bit of thinking - icecream or cookie. Some seem easy but have long lasting consequences - choosing icecream over something healthy like fruit everytime will cause problems when you grow up.

In fact you might want to first talk to your doctor and see if he can meet with a child psychiatrist who would be able to talk to him and find out why he feels the need to take others' things. Whatever is bothering him will eventually come out - kids might be more forth coming to someone other than parents and doctors who work with kids are adept at drawing them out. Do deal with it quickly.

 

Sorry to ask, is your kid being repeatedly denied stuff that he asks for? This is not about money. This is about his personal choice.

For example, if he says he wants Lego, do you buy him a Hotwheels car instead?

Sometimes kids take others things, because it is THEIR choice, what they like, which they did not have an opportunity to choose at home. They like their free reign, as opposed to the control at home.

Just another option, think about it...

 

He could be doing it because someone he is friends with is doing it or someone is asking him to do so. Wrong kind of peer pressure is something you can look into.
Find out if he is bullied and is not able to speak up. This could be another reason.
Its possible he is not yet tuned into the concept of his own things vs others things. If he has a close group of friends, he could be considering them as his own and their things as his own.

When you correct him, use a good choice of words. After school, let this not be the first thing you acknowledge. If the behaviour repeats, be prepared to deal with calmly. If he drops this behaviour even for a day, praise him and make him happy.

Lot of (well-grown)adults take others things on purpose to hurt them. 7.5 is still such a young age. Handle with love and affection.

 

Dear OP, My 5 year old does that too.My DH and I sit with her together and individually and tell her not to do that.earlier she used to say 'OK. i won't do again'. But now she says 'he/she gave it to me' or 'I found it on the floor.nobody wants it'. Last week she said'x got it from floor. I got 4.y wanted 1 and I gave her one.see I am sharing.pls don't tell Appa.' Then she says 'sorry mummy I am telling lies to you.i only picked it up and not x'. Although I appreciate for admitting that she lies I was still worried about her still taking things.my point is just because you beat or hurt the child is definitely not going to make him stop doing it. Try to explain as to how he would feel if someone else takes his things and refuses to give up.i want my child to atleast be frank and realise that she's doing wrong.hopefully she will stop doing it someday

 

Very young children don't understand property lines. It is not unusual for a child of 4 to "steal" something — they simply may not know that it's wrong to take something that doesn't belong to them. This is a good opportunity to teach them about ownership and also the difference between right and wrong.

"Stealing" at 7 is less common. It may mean that the child hasn't yet understood the concept of ownership. Explain calmly with examples. Sometimes it is a sign of a bigger problem at home or at school — talk with your kiddo to find out. It may simply be because he's getting a little less attention since the younger child needs you more.

If nothing else works, steal something from him and discuss how he feels about it.

OP, a lot of ILites have already said this, but I'd like to stress it yet again: Do not hit your child for any reason.

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Personally I feel kids as young as 3 and 4 may feel what is mine is MINE and what is his is also mine. The way the get fond of a toy that another kids has and that when you buy the same toy later he would hardly play for a couple of hours
But at 7.5 yrs I believe it is more than that. It could be peer pressure.
It could be rebelling to test limits. It could be just the momentous thrill of doing something that he is not supposed to.
Talk to him about why he did that. No harsh words. Just act surprised.
Tell him this is something new and that you know it is not his and how he got it and whose. If he says he took x's ask him why and what did he feel when he took it. Sometimes it is a act that your son could be doing to react to something that x did, to which your son is unhappy.
Sometimes he just needs to attention and thinks by picking things he can get it.

Do talk to him about why it is not right to take something that is not his and how he would feel if his things were taken by others. And please don't make it feel that he has let down your reputatiion( just saying not to if you are using this card)
It is more about your son and his feelings and his reactions to something that is troubling him. talking to his teachers may help.

We are in the era of too much information and fast growth and never realise that a 4 yr or a 7 yr has pressure and a different thinking than what we assume. They are also emotionally driven and feel more than we give them credit.

It is going to be a few sessions of talking to your son to undo the damage of hitting and making home feel bad to open up and to really express.

See if something at home makes him believe he is not being loved or given attention. Rectify that.

Desire to want what others have is something he needs to deal with positively as he grows up. We all learn it in our stride.

 

You havent mentioned, does he try to hide the object or doesnt really go into that level of planning? If he is hiding, then he knows that what he is doing is wrong, intellectually and also really understands the meaning.

I agree with others though, hitting/yelling may make his sneaky but maynot really address the issue.