7 Reasons not to mess with children

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by bubble_cool, Jan 10, 2008.

  1. bubble_cool

    bubble_cool New IL'ite

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    A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
    The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a
    human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very
    small.
    The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
    Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
    human; it was physically impossible.
    The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
    The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
    The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

    A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
    they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each
    child's work.
    As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked
    what the drawing was.
    The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
    The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
    Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl
    replied, "They will in a minute."

    A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
    five and six year olds.
    After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy
    Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat
    our brothers and sisters?"
    Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)
    answered, "Thou shall not kill."

    One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
    dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had
    several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette
    head.
    She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of
    your hairs white, Mom?"
    Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and
    make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
    The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then
    said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

    The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
    persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
    "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown
    up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's
    a doctor.'
    A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
    teacher, she's dead."

    A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying
    to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my
    head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in
    the face."
    "Yes," the class said.
    "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
    position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
    A little fellow shouted,
    "Cause your feet ain't empty."

    The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
    school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
    The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
    "Take only ONE . God is watching."
    Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was
    a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
    A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the
    apples."
     
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  2. Sashmitaa

    Sashmitaa Senior IL'ite

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  3. bubble_cool

    bubble_cool New IL'ite

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    Hi ,

    thank you !!!! :cool2:
     
  4. Vysan

    Vysan Gold IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Good ones.....
     
  5. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    hahahaha good ones
     

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