7. Don’t Leave Before Your Leave

buddingleader · Nov 6, 2017

Hello Everyone!

Happy to meet you all again

I took a short vacation to Bangkok recently. And it was such an exhilarating experience. I saw the dolphin show for the first time. Wow! I was quite thrilled. Before the dolphin show actually started, Thai songs were getting played in the stadium. I observed that many school kids were present in the stadium. Suddenly, I heard a group singing along for a particular song. When I turned my head, my lips curved into a smile. The school kids were shaking their hands in rhythm and singing together. I don’t have a clue of the language. But seeing their faces brought instant smile to everyone present there. We were all clapping and encouraging them to sing more. Few actually started taking pictures of them. We all love kids irrespective of so many cultural differences, don’t we?

Those cute smiles, those little eyes… Who won’t fall in love with them? But raising them might not be a cake walk. No “Raising Kid for Dummies” will provide you 100% success. So, we might have to do our own trial and error to raise one. I don’t have kids. But I would love to have one. When I think of starting my family, the first inevitable question which pops is “How am I going to take care of my kid?” In the households where both husband and wife are in workforce, won’t this be the real problem? I used to keenly listen when my colleagues talk about childcare. I wanted to stay prepared before I have one. From whatever I heard, child care appears to be an expensive one. So, we will have to prepare ourselves financially to handle the additional cost. Also it seems to be a hectic task. I have seen one of my colleagues who run out of the office literally everyday to pick his daughter from day care. So, I need to set a timetable for that too. Special cooking will be required for the kid. I struggle to cook the normal food as such. Cooking for my kid?! Let’s think about this later.

Keeping all this at the back of my brain, I tend to take my professional decisions based on the fact “what if I become a mother?” So, I tend to lose so many opportunities which might come on the way. I am not really sure whether I will get such opportunities in the future. Won’t I regret it later, after becoming a parent? If I decide to quit the workforce willingly on my own will, that’s altogether a different story. But what if, I lose the chance to build my career now worrying about the future? What if I quit the job which I made less interesting altogether at later point of time? That’s what I am bothered about. After I read Lean In, I understood that planning in advance might not really help at times and in fact hinder the growth. It doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be prepared at all. I can plan all this after I get pregnant. Won’t that make more sense?

Sheryl unveiled the fact “Women wind up leaving the workforce precisely because of the things they did to stay in the workforce”. She also emphasized “Don’t enter the workforce already looking for an exit”. So, let’s all try not to leave the workforce until the day, a tough decision has to be made.

Meet you all soon with the next post! Until then, Bye!

==================================================================

Please find the previous posts below
Introduction (lean In By Sheryl Sandberg)

“the Leadership Ambition Gap: What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?” (lean In)

Sit At The Table (lean In)

3. Success And Likeability (lean In)

4. It’s A Jungle Gym, Not A Ladder (lean In)

5.are You My Mentor? (lean In)

6. Seek And Speak The Truth (lean In)

Thyagarajan · Nov 9, 2017

buddingleader said: ↑

Hello Everyone!

Happy to meet you all again

I took a short vacation to Bangkok recently. And it was such an exhilarating experience. I saw the dolphin show for the first time. Wow! I was quite thrilled. Before the dolphin show actually started, Thai songs were getting played in the stadium. I observed that many school kids were present in the stadium. Suddenly, I heard a group singing along for a particular song. When I turned my head, my lips curved into a smile. The school kids were shaking their hands in rhythm and singing together. I don’t have a clue of the language. But seeing their faces brought instant smile to everyone present there. We were all clapping and encouraging them to sing more. Few actually started taking pictures of them. We all love kids irrespective of so many cultural differences, don’t we?

Those cute smiles, those little eyes… Who won’t fall in love with them? But raising them might not be a cake walk. No “Raising Kid for Dummies” will provide you 100% success. So, we might have to do our own trial and error to raise one. I don’t have kids. But I would love to have one. When I think of starting my family, the first inevitable question which pops is “How am I going to take care of my kid?” In the households where both husband and wife are in workforce, won’t this be the real problem? I used to keenly listen when my colleagues talk about childcare. I wanted to stay prepared before I have one. From whatever I heard, child care appears to be an expensive one. So, we will have to prepare ourselves financially to handle the additional cost. Also it seems to be a hectic task. I have seen one of my colleagues who run out of the office literally everyday to pick his daughter from day care. So, I need to set a timetable for that too. Special cooking will be required for the kid. I struggle to cook the normal food as such. Cooking for my kid?! Let’s think about this later.

Keeping all this at the back of my brain, I tend to take my professional decisions based on the fact “what if I become a mother?” So, I tend to lose so many opportunities which might come on the way. I am not really sure whether I will get such opportunities in the future. Won’t I regret it later, after becoming a parent? If I decide to quit the workforce willingly on my own will, that’s altogether a different story. But what if, I lose the chance to build my career now worrying about the future? What if I quit the job which I made less interesting altogether at later point of time? That’s what I am bothered about. After I read Lean In, I understood that planning in advance might not really help at times and in fact hinder the growth. It doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be prepared at all. I can plan all this after I get pregnant. Won’t that make more sense?

Sheryl unveiled the fact “Women wind up leaving the workforce precisely because of the things they did to stay in the workforce”. She also emphasized “Don’t enter the workforce already looking for an exit”. So, let’s all try not to leave the workforce until the day, a tough decision has to be made.

Meet you all soon with the next post! Until then, Bye!

==================================================================

Please find the previous posts below
Introduction (lean In By Sheryl Sandberg)

“the Leadership Ambition Gap: What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?” (lean In)

Sit At The Table (lean In)

3. Success And Likeability (lean In)

4. It’s A Jungle Gym, Not A Ladder (lean In)

5.are You My Mentor? (lean In)

6. Seek And Speak The Truth (lean In)
Click to expand...

Cross the bridge as and when you near it!
Thanks and Regards.

buddingleader · Nov 9, 2017

Thyagarajan said: ↑

Cross the bridge as and when you near it!
Thanks and Regards.
Click to expand...

Thank you Thyagarajan for dropping in

Viswamitra · Nov 10, 2017

Many researchers have come to the conclusion that the parent who holds the baby close to the body for a long time during the developmental stage of brain get to be natural ally of the child after they grow up. Unlike work, giving birth and/or raising a baby is not a deliverable figuratively. There are lot more complexities involved in raising a child.

The parents are the best judge to make that call. Many mothers (in some cases fathers in the Western world) make that difficult call keeping in mind the importance of spending time with the children. There is no value to their sacrifice at the same time nothing can replace the pleasure of spending time with the kid.

I couldn't agree more about don't have to think about leaving until it is time to decide. Frankly, during pregnancy and after delivery, it is important for the mothers to keep a great mental and physical health in order send good vibrations to the child. Fathers have an important role to play to keep their spouses happy. Only way the child will begin the life happy is when the mother is happy.

Viswa

HariLakhera · Nov 10, 2017

It's one of the most difficult decision that a couple has to make, particularly if both are working and career minded. I know some couples where one of them, mostly the wife, took a backseat for starting a family. The decision has to be mutual. Thankfully now women past 35 are having safe deliveries. So if one has worked for say, 10 years, it may not be very difficult to call it quit or change to flexible job. Money does buy day care or nanny at home but the feeling of guilt lingers on with anxiety about the child all the time.
I think women members will throw more light on the subject. My experienced is based on my own and that of my two working daughters.

Thyagarajan · Nov 10, 2017

Viswamitra said: ↑

Many researchers have come to the conclusion that the parent who holds the baby close to the body for a long time during the developmental stage of brain get to be natural ally of the child after they grow up. Unlike work, giving birth and/or raising a baby is not a deliverable figuratively. There are lot more complexities involved in raising a child.

The parents are the best judge to make that call. Many mothers (in some cases fathers in the Western world) make that difficult call keeping in mind the importance of spending time with the children. There is no value to their sacrifice at the same time nothing can replace the pleasure of spending time with the kid.

I couldn't agree more about don't have to think about leaving until it is time to decide. Frankly, during pregnancy and after delivery, it is important for the mothers to keep a great mental and physical health in order send good vibrations to the child. Fathers have an important role to play to keep their spouses happy. Only way the child will begin the life happy is when the mother is happy.

Viswa
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I agree. In contrast it would be interesting to research why the camel/giraffe after delivering on the ground, kick her baby to make it stand on its own leg ( before allowing it to suckle). queer thinking!!!!!
Thank You and Regards.

Thyagarajan · Nov 10, 2017

HariLakhera said: ↑

It's one of the most difficult decision that a couple has to make, particularly if both are working and career minded. I know some couples where one of them, mostly the wife, took a backseat for starting a family. The decision has to be mutual. Thankfully now women past 35 are having safe deliveries. So if one has worked for say, 10 years, it may not be very difficult to call it quit or change to flexible job. Money does buy day care or nanny at home but the feeling of guilt lingers on with anxiety about the child all the time.
I think women members will throw more light on the subject. My experienced is based on my own and that of my two working daughters.
Click to expand...

The suggestion is pragmatic. She accumulates money for expenses at enormous stress to herself and to the baby(missing suckling & scent of mother unexpressed) and substantial savings later on spent to recoup lost health.
2. A news item in Tamil Daily published from Chennai India few months ago reads -Nurtured by nanny in formative years, a young mother shocked to find her boy was eating the peel of banana, asked him the reason for ignoring the fruit. The boy's answer was astounding - "Nanny told that fruit inside the peel is poisonous and peel has all the nutrition"
Thank you. Regards. God Bless Us All.