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6. Seek And Speak The Truth (lean In)

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by buddingleader, Oct 28, 2017.

  1. buddingleader

    buddingleader Silver IL'ite

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    Hello All,

    I have been away for a long time now. Health has taken a troll on me. Glad to be back. Here I am with my next post.


    I watched tangled movie for the 100th time yesterday. I am not sure how many of you have actually watched the movie. Anyways, the final dialogues are still ringing in my ears. Hero says, “That after years, and years of asking, and asking, and asking (after a pause) I finally said yes.” Heroine pinches in to correct him; “Eugeneee…” and hero sense her tone and change his words instantly “All right, I asked her. And we're living happily ever after.”

    Oh… how romantic! It’s bringing all the memories of my wedding day. Even the thought of it is making me nostalgic. In my society, love marriages are not very much common. After the entire struggle, I married the love of my life. I just knew that we are going to live happily ever after. But soon after, I realised that’s not entirely true. I often hear from people that the first six months of marriage is a honeymoon period. But in my case, it didn’t even last a month. We stayed awake throughout the night just to fight. To be frank, both of our parents thought that we would reach them soon with the idea of divorce. To their surprise, we are happily married for almost 4 years now. How did that happen? It’s actually simple. We found the root cause of all our problems. It’s nothing but we both are super lazy. We are maintaining that amazing quality till date.

    After marriage, all of a sudden so many works became part of our day to day lives. Being not used to doing household chorus, I found it extremely hard to manage all the works which have become part of my daily schedule. On the other hand, my husband was unable to cope with his increasing work load, which mostly involves going out pretty frequently to take care of the household utilities. We were under the assumption that the other person was actually enjoying. It took us few months to understand the real situation. But it’s worth the delay. We have come up with a plan that I would do all the work which generally my husband would manage and he would do all the works which I generally do. This change in schedule is just for a month. In 3 days, I understood it was not easy. I had to roam around to buy groceries, pay bills, or to fix any problem in the house. It was hectic. But I just didn’t want to accept the fact I couldn’t do it. I just kept my head high and acted as though it was pretty easy. In ten days of our plan, my husband came to me with a white flag. Aww… God finally saved me. He came down first. Hurray! That is when we clearly segregated our work and agreed to offer assistance on few things. We spoke openly about our difficulties and established some ground rules. We were finally able to see “My Truth” and “His Truth” as well.

    The same thing happens in our office too, where we fail to notice to see the other’s truth. This just leads to lots of disputes and affects productivity drastically. We will have to accept the fact that the truth varies from one’s perspective. So, what we think as right need not be necessarily right for everyone else. If we possess such a mindset, we would be able to identify the real problems at our workplace and increase our productivity. As a manager, one should be open to the feedback (especially negative). But it takes two hands to clap. You won’t get negative feedback from others even if you are open. We all have learnt to lie throughout our life. So, we don’t really communicate hard truths to others. So, if you really want to grow, you will have to make others realize the fact that you are open to the negative feedback. Sheryl gave an idea to covey t others – “To speak openly about one’s own weaknesses”. When we speak openly about our weakness, there is a good chance people might approach us with their feedbacks. She also suggests sharing our personal problems which might affect our professional life openly at work and we need not act that our professional decisions are not affected by our personal lives. I have seen many people who pretend like that. Probably I would have acted the same way few times. Won’t it be easy to just tell our real reason? Actually that might help us to bond with others emotionally. I have decided to be like that from now on. I don’t want to act. I just want to be myself even at work.

    See you all soon with the next post. Until then, Bye!

    Please find the previous posts below
    Introduction (lean In By Sheryl Sandberg)

    “the Leadership Ambition Gap: What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?” (lean In)

    Sit At The Table (lean In)

    3. Success And Likeability (lean In)

    4. It’s A Jungle Gym, Not A Ladder (lean In)

    5.are You My Mentor? (lean In)
     
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  2. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks ,it was informative
     
  3. buddingleader

    buddingleader Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks Sindmani for dropping in :)
     
  4. creativemumma

    creativemumma Gold IL'ite

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    What a mature way of handling!
    Kudos to you both:beer-toast1:
     
  5. buddingleader

    buddingleader Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks a lot creativemumma for dropping in :) Glad you liked the post!!
     
  6. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    First and foremost, congratulations on your post being nominated to FP by iyerviji! Your userid seems very apt especially after reading your narrative of how you dealt with a common problem very wisely and maturely. Most of our problems arise because of ego and not being able to view a situation from any other perspective other than our own. The moment we do, however difficult a situation may be, we realize that all parties are suffering equally and it makes the difficulties much easier to bear. Looking forward to a lot more from you.
     
    teenulahari and buddingleader like this.
  7. PushpavalliSrinivasan

    PushpavalliSrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    Before judging or criticizing anyone we should try to put in ourselves in his or her shoe.

    We live in a patriarchal society where people are always judgmental; people are always quick to judge based on what they see without thinking twice if they are wrong. The society harshly judges people who do not conform the common norms without trying to make an effort to know the reason behind their actions.
    Before criticizing anyone put yourself into their shoes, and then only you will come to know the problem. Perhaps you also might deal the problem in the same way.
    PS
     
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  8. buddingleader

    buddingleader Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks a lot mam for your comment. I am grateful to you for dropping by and sharing few words of wisdom. To be frank, we had a great deal of ego clashes before we came to terms. I guess fights have made us to understand each other still better. And we are still a work in progress.
     
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  9. buddingleader

    buddingleader Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks a lot mam for your valuable comment! Whatever you told about judging is unfortunately very true. Many of us fail to see the truth and simply make assumptions. We fail to understand how we are hurting/affecting the others by doing so.
     
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2017
  10. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Aren't we all? Always? If we did not have ego problems, we would cease to be human and attain much higher levels.
     
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