2nd Pregnancy At 36 And Confused

Discussion in 'Pregnancy & Labor' started by mysticdiva, Dec 8, 2017.

  1. mysticdiva

    mysticdiva Silver IL'ite

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    Hello ladies!!
    Firstly please dont be judgmental reading my story.I wld like just opinions and someone who has experienced such situation.
    I am 36 yrs old and found out I am pregnant with my 2nd child.It was an accident.I have a 7yr old girl.I was excited initially when i got to knw i was preg,but as it sinked it,i panicked and started to worry(since we didnt plan and we were done with having kids).I dont think I am ready to start over again and I feel we are pretty well settled in our life now and wouldnt want to change it.So i am in 2 minds thinking if I should keep the baby or terminate the pregnancy..I am so confused.Can anyone share if they had such similar situation in life and those who had pregnancy after 35 as its scares me abt the kids health too.
    Thanks in advance.
     
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  2. sweetygal

    sweetygal Bronze IL'ite

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    i m 35, just had a baby 4 months back and have a 6 yr old. 35 is never a magic number above which u shud get panic abt babys health.considering the health of baby, dont worry ,now the investigations have advanced soo much than 6-7 yrs back.
    your elder will surely love having a baby, though there can be bit rivalry.but they bond soo sweetly. i think they need a companion. if u want to keep the baby and is concerned abt health ,i wud encourage u to go forwards. About your mind , u ll have to take d decision.
     
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  3. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    Yes u r right to get worried but now u r preg so eat healthy and get all the multi vit ..do yoga or any activity to keep u strong.. do after the post preg too all these vit that will help..
    best wishes and good health..
     
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  4. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    U r blessed now so I think keep the baby unless u know u have a bad health n ur body can't ..
     
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  5. vidukarth

    vidukarth Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi, with the advancements these days, 36 is not a big age at all. I have two kids, and am 35 now, sometimes want to go for a third one, but my husband is not interested. But I do want one more. So, eat healthy, and stay happy. You and your daughter will be thankful later for having another baby. I do not have any siblings and I know how it is. So, please don't feel bad. But that said, it is my opinion, you know your family and financial situation better. Good Luck.
     
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  6. daksh

    daksh Silver IL'ite

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    If finance and health are not a concern, you should definitely go for it. I am saying this from first hand experience, I have a 10 year old and a 8 month old baby, though both babies were planned, the second one took so long to come after several fertility treatment, so they have nine years difference between them. My son adores his baby sister, he enjoys spending time with her, there is zero sibling rivalry, the baby brought so much joy to all of us. My boy never complains when the baby cries all night and disturbs everyone's sleep, instead he would come out of his bedroom and will try his best to soothe her. The first thing he does every morning is to come inside our bedroom to say hi to the baby and play with her for few minutes if she is awake.

    Though it is unplanned for you guys, I think you should go for it if you would be able to afford and you don't have any major health concerns. Yes, you have to make some sacrifices to your routine and comforts for the first few years, but I think it is worth it. Especially your older one will have company and may have a best friend when both grow up to be adults. This may or may not happen, but there are lots of possibilities for it to happen.

    And the baby will keep you young and occupied for several years. Before my girl was born, I used to worry about empty nest when my son has to leave for college, I really didn't want to be a empty-nester at 41 years old, since my boy was born when I was 24. Now I have this girl, she will stay with us for quite some time, when she leaves, I will be 50s and be ready for retirement.

    Good Luck with whatever you decide. Don't yield to the pressure of others, everyone will have their own opinion based on their experiences and beliefs. What works or one person may not work for other. Sit down with your husband and analyze the pluses and minuses and see if you guys are ready for it. I strongly believe that one should bring the baby to this world only if they really want to. If you think let's go for it, LOVE for the new baby will follow automatically and you will pretty soon forget that this was unplanned. GOOD LUCK!!!
     
  7. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    OP, Congrats.

    If you or baby has no health issues, you should think about continuing it. It may be god sent. Your elder one is going to get company of a sister or brother .

    If you are looking for confirmation, here are real life stories. My sister was born when my mom was 37 yrs old (long back, normal delivery). She is much younger to me. I consider her as a blessing to all of us. I cannot imagine a life without her. Both my kids were born when I was above 30+. I faced no issues. It was kind of smooth. we are all so happy to have the second one, especially my ds.

    My friend delivered her second baby when she was 42y. Her elder one was 8y that time. They tried for second one, but it didnt materialize. But the pregnancy at 41y was kind of surprise. There was no issues. Another friend of mine has kids with age difference 10 years. The elder one ( he took care of younger one very well as and they share a special bond)soon leave to college but younger one (she was 37 y when he was born) will be with them.

    Can you kill your 7y old? if not please dont kill the second one, if there is no serious health issues or other serious concerns. So consider it as a blessing. It is just my thoughts, you are the best judge of your life situations and the decision is yours

    Now technology is well advanced.There are are lot of tests to confirm any issues. Clue to genetic issues can be checked early by 13 weeks itself (Nuchal translucency scan ) or Amniocentesis. Recent techniques dont need any of these, they give a clear idea by detailed specialized blood test and scans. I don't know what is available in your area. Consult a good OBY.

    Dont worry. Everything will be alright. Good luck.
     
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2017
  8. Sunburst

    Sunburst Platinum IL'ite

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    Please read about how secondary infertility (having 2nd kid ) is so common these days . I have friends with 1 kid but not able to conceive the 2nd time around . They all feel their only kid grew up too fast or the kid being lonely and now trying for 2nd one but in vain.

    There is a reason why it happened so let it be . You may be overwhelmed right now but kids grow up so fast . Those sleepless nights and diapers phase don’t last forever. 5 years down the line you won’t regret having a 2nd one . I have never have come across moms who regretted having 2. Not to mention the benefits of having a sibling for your kids . The pros of having 2 far outweighs the cons . If your healthy and the doc doesn’t see an issue , I would say keep the baby .
     
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  9. mysticdiva

    mysticdiva Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you so much everyone for your feedback and suggestions and not being judgemental.It will help me make a better decision.Appreciate your help!!
     
  10. aspha

    aspha Gold IL'ite

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    Of it feels better o had my first one at 33 and second one 10 months ago at 37. And on a lighter note Janet Jackson had her first one at 50. If finances are not an issue I would suggest go with the pregnancy.
     
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