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13 Year Not Talking Anything Seriously

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by Soch, Mar 23, 2017.

  1. Soch

    Soch Silver IL'ite

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    Hi All,

    She is not taking anything seriously even it is exam or classes. She wanted to go for dance so we put her in that she dances well but she can’t do it in sequence, in sense first this next other step. I will do it mixed.



    Other issue is she doesn’t take exam seriously, she thinks they will pass her by any chances. Initially my father was the one teaching her, but he will force her to do things and also he will sitting next to her and instruct her to do things. So she started hating studies itself and also everyday they both fighting and bcos of which tension with me too, you can refer to my previous post on this.

    Finally I had put her in Math tution there too she become very friendly and teacher is teaching good but because of friendly person she is not taking that seriously. She is class 7, it has done her math exam poorly so she has to take retest. Today I asked her to practice some problems, she did steps properly but answer is wrong. After few try she found out that she wrote the number itself wrong, for example, it was written in question paper as 21 ¼, but she wrote in answer paper as 21 ½ then obviously answer will be wrong.



    So friends please suggest me how to help her to do things properly. If I ask her to do something so that she will get something as gift she will not try to get, she will say anyway I will not get why to try. How do I change this mind set.
     
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  2. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Ah! the teenage years!! :)

    I was a nightmare to my parents during my teens and I had my dad teach me math and he was too strict that I hated studies..This thread reminds a lot about me when I was a teen..

    will tell you some reasons which might help you..

    1)Distractions..this age has too many distractions.tv,boys,makeup,beauty,jealousy etc etc.she is finding it hard to focus coz of the pressure.Yes..crushes and trying to be cool will be there but that should not spoil her studies.Always have an "invisible leash" on your children (without them knowing of course).Only if she finishes her studies, will she get tv time ..things like that

    2)Lack of passion or interest.OR even if she is interested, she wants encouragement..and "constantly".I cannot stress this enough.At this age, many teens self doubt themselves a lot.We need to keep addressing and telling them that they are"capable" and can do it.At this age, self esteem takes a toss and she needs lots of encouragement.

    3)she thinks if the teacher is friendly, she can take it easy.tough means she will hate the subject.Apart from the tuition,you as a parent at least on weekends sit with her for the subject and help her out.

    4) check her eyesight.I remember copying numbers from book wrong for the fear of wearing specs and once failed coz all questions were wrong.

    5)On and off, check her knowledge on the subjects she studies.not too often ..once in a while to see if she knows her studies.Do not over do it, but keep a check.I remember trying to cheat my mom when she believed I can study myself..NOPE!! DOSENT WORK WITH ALL KIDS...

    6)strict is important but if your dad is being discouraging telling her things like she is not smart enough to understand things, then it it tough.One needs enormous patience.

    7)Trust me, parents guidance and encouragement plays a major role in grooming a child.let your husband teach her well and patiently the subjects.As a mom, communicate a lot with her and gain her confidence.Make her confide in you.

    8)Some people say yell and be very strict..Again does not work for all kids...only patience, communication and love will make some kids listen and I was one of them.I listened more to my uncle who was very patient than my dad.My uncle's kids are doing very well in life now..

    It will be crazy tough but trust me she will thank you later..
     
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2017
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  3. Soch

    Soch Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you, Anika, Patience is what I am too missing. After work, it is difficult to sit with her. I will do it from now on
     
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  4. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Sure..after sometime Do let us know the progress
     

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