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confused.. live or leave pls help

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by samay100, Jan 3, 2009.

  1. ennaye

    ennaye Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,

    What you are going through no sane person can stand up to.

    Get out of this situation. And God bless you.

    You don't have to take this kind of a thing.
     
  2. ottawagirl

    ottawagirl Senior IL'ite

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    I agree with Malyatha ..you should secure your hard earned money/your assets first before you move out and all. Take care and face your in-laws boldly. God Speed!
     
  3. chituapr

    chituapr New IL'ite

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    Hi,

    As sonu said you deserve a medal ... I guess now is the time to talk back.. Tell me what is the point of being in a relationship when you love is not reciprocated.. for how long can you hold on to such relationship...Things were different before..

    Its not the same now.. If you are planning to take some bold steps go ahead and do it.. Its your life and you need to live it your way..

    Society - Always do what you want to do and say what you want to say... Coz people who matter the most dont mind and those who mind dont matter...

    You can manage things on your own.. I know many single moms... who are able tobalance both work an life...

    All the best on whatever decision you make...
     
  4. amihere

    amihere Platinum IL'ite

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    hi
    Am sorry for what you are going through now,but was not able to stop saying "My good god!!!".I dont see any point in you tolerating all these things from your MIL,FIL and DH.Either you have to stand on your own legs(not only financially,but by denying compromise on your personal freedom) or you have to move out.By burning out like this whom are we trying to satisfy?My prayers and wishes are with you.

    Thanks
    Ami
     
  5. asha_karthik

    asha_karthik Silver IL'ite

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    Divorce is the last suggestion I would give any one dear Samay.. and thats possibly the reason why i am going to beat around the bush here (otherwise i see u hv no option out of this dirty marriage you have had)...

    I dont hv to advise a person like you on forbearance.. even after seeing how you have taken ur hubb's first marriage. What a family they are. As someone said here, even in India, we dont wear saris at all.. what is ur MIL trying to keep up... indian tradition? bull ! tradition and values in a family that has lied about their own son's first marriage? what a cheapo they are !

    I hv a FIL who is very dominating too.. i can imagine how it is too see a male who keeps talking, talking and advising, just coz he thinks he is great just by being born male. the same male wudn't mind if the female brings in load of wealth to the family every month. what a tarnishing tactic !

    hv u ever tried talking to ur hubb abt his brother(s), sister(s)? if he tries to hide something, i am sure he has a lot more to hide.. and he doesn't deserve someone like you.

    One last chance you should give your hubb and him alone (after keeping all the documents/money accounts in your favour too, as malyatha has said - keep your self financially safe - dont be a loser) - on (1) how you feel about how you are treated at home (2) why you deserve better (3) what your next plans are, if things dont happen the way you want it to happen
    Try sending him an email or hv an open talk with him.. if there is no reaction, he is not worth you. As someone said here, try to separate and live for sometime.. and even in this time, if they dont change, pls see the first line in my post.. i wudn't want to say that. If he tries, even tries to change, you can wait and see if you can move out separately with ur hubb. you can defly give him another chance.

    dont try to get emotional during ur talks or on paper.. take care of urself.. and do share this with someone at work or neighbours.. you need that safety at least.
     
  6. oaktree

    oaktree Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Samay,
    Want to give you a hug. What a bunch of loosers !! I strongly feel that you have bent too low before them. Noone has to take such nonsense !
    I totally agree with Malyatha's post.
    Start standing up for yourself and fear no one.

    Regards.
    Oaktree
     
  7. shivachoubey

    shivachoubey IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Samay,

    A big hug. get out of the house as soon as you can. Why you need to go back?? If you are earning can't you stay separate. In fact just try to talk to your husband but if he doesn't understand then there is no hope in the marriage. These people are actually maniacs. See if you can take some help.

    Point is that because you are taking everything quietly they are overpowering you. If there is a chance that they can turn violent at your revolt then please do take care.

    If you think you are staying in a prison the try to break free. You have such a beautiful life ahead, do not waste it in this house and on these people.

    regards

    :coffeeShiva
     
  8. Mihika

    Mihika New IL'ite

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    Dear Samay
    I will suggest that you slowly start rebelling against your MIL and FIL and see if your hubby supports you. If he does not then MOVE OUT of this meaningless relationship
    Take care
    Mihika
     
  9. Priya_Mommy

    Priya_Mommy Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Samay100,
    I really appreciate your patience. Being an earning member, you are so restricted by your inlaws. Its definitely a type of domestic violence. Even if you dont earn, they may harm you and there is no concern or accountability as of now from their end.
    What are they thinking, COme out, and live your life. Instead of getting you as a wife for their son, they can get a maid easily. So, they are getting so many benefits even they are controlling your earnings.
    For waht sake you are waiting on with those Falthoo guys,Useless guys.
    Law will take care of such people and jsut comeout and file a case against them as a dowry harrassement and domestic voilence both. Atleast they will get a prison of 10-20 years, wheren old ppl will end their lives in Prison. Even if you stepped out their lives, they will get their son married to another innocent girl like you. So to stop them, drag them into baracks.
    Let them enjoy their fortune in Prison.
     
  10. roopadadia

    roopadadia Silver IL'ite

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    Where is Samay its almost 10 days since she posted and has not surfaced again. Hope all is well with her.

    Lets wait and hear from her first.
     

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