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Yes, I Am A Bad Mother!!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Myliltwincesses, Mar 20, 2020.

  1. Myliltwincesses

    Myliltwincesses Silver IL'ite

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    I got a call from a very close relative of mine and she said that my family member complains about my parenting style to others..She told me a very big list and added that I am now being labelled as a BAD MOTHER due to this..

    I started laughing when she talked..She told me that I should take things seriously and have a conversation with my family member to stop spreading such complaints..I replied that I need not explain my parenting style to others.

    Anyway, for the sake of posterity, I am writing those complaints below in my blog.

    I know, there may be some mothers, who also do like me and get labelled as bad mothers..To all of you, don’t worry about others’ and do what you and your husband believe, is good for your child.

    I am not giving my explanation for any of these complaints given below, as I am confident that I do whatever is good for my kids after careful analysis and professional experts opinion.

    ‘She’ refers to ‘Me’, a very bad mother of 1.2 year old twin girls.

    • She is giving more solid foods and gives milk only before 8 AM and after 8 PM..She doesn’t force feed and gives rice only once a day…Her kids drink juice, eats fruits and vegetables ,tiffen, more than rice..She doesn’t allow them to watch TV while feeding, so they eat less.
    • She always keeps them in diapers except for some time in a day and she never uses traditional cloth diapers.
    • She doesn’t use turmeric powder and so her kids have become dark..She was using a bath tub to give bath to her babies.
    • She doesn’t use any old grandmother recipes for her kids’ illness..Always consults a doctor.
    • She is always particular about cleanliness and hygiene of the house.
    • She tries new recipes for kids often and doesn’t stick to rice.
    • Her kids wake up once or twice a night for milk as she doesn’t feed them rice as dinner.
    • She always buys things online for her kids.. It’s costly.
    • She never listens to what elders say regarding child care.
    • She never allows kids to watch serials or videos in mobile or television.
    • She doesn’t like giving biscuits or oily snacks to kids and stops us giving them the same.
    These are the reasons for which I am being called as a ‘Bad Mother’ and I am happy to accept the same.

    So, what do you think about this?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 20, 2020
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  2. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    Good that you are doing posterity stuff.
    The worry about today, tomorrow and the near future should find a balance with posterity, for sure.
    Carry on... and blog away.
     
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  3. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    I also felt like laughing. Whoever talks about you, may be they are jealous.
     
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  4. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Their statements are laugh worthy..
    Few are like okay, but if you don't want to follow them its fine but few I'm wondering what were they thinking ? Like say for eg : showing TV to kids while having food .
    Generally the older generation don't prefer that. Few new age mommmas do that.
     
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  5. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I think we should not believe such information about our family members from close relatives when it is not accompanied by strong evidence. Often, such shubchintaks (well-wishers) try to create trouble. She might be hoping to disturb the peace of your household or engrave this gossip in your mind (and blog) for posterity.

    If she was so concerned about you getting labelled as a bad mother, she'd have spoken directly to the family member too when the family member was allegedly making those comments.

    Why the coy usage of "family member"? Just say MIL? ; )
     
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  6. Myliltwincesses

    Myliltwincesses Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Anusha,
    Nowadays, some older generation people also prefer tv because they just want the kid to finish the food..For them, food should get over anyway.
     
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  7. Myliltwincesses

    Myliltwincesses Silver IL'ite

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    Hi, I received this information not only from one source, but also from another person who is a family friend (My close relative and family friend doesn't know each other)..Both were saying the same points..
    I believe them because these points had been directly told by my family member to me..I explained the reasons too, but it was not accepted..So, I think, blame game and labeling had started.
    Anyway, I have explained many times and so now I stopped doing that.
     
  8. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Most of the times it's best to trust the motherly instincts in us .
    Sometimes it's good to take their advice. They come with more experience than us .

    Not telling the TV thing. But otherwise. :)
    As a mother you know the best for your daughters. As a elder family member they know what's best for you. Hence their advice.
     
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  9. Myliltwincesses

    Myliltwincesses Silver IL'ite

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    I understand what you are trying to say.. Experience helps..But not for all babies..For eg, regarding applying turmeric, my girls got rashes and so I stopped it.
    Further, traditional medicines also didn't suit as they got dysentery..so, I stopped it..
    Likewise, if house isn't clean, they get sick often.. Managing 2 sick kids is difficult.
    I am planning diet so that it's balanced..Having rice alone not helps..
    As you said, I am trusting my motherly instincts
     
    Anusha2917 likes this.
  10. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    True.. Unlike before we don't get pure products nowadays. There's chemicals and adulteration in everything. But somehow they fail to understand this point and blame the mothers.
     
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