Friction In Married Life Post Baby

Totally understandable but you cook what you should eat while bf. They don’t care all that, or forget you as new mom. But just stop expecting anything from them, even to understand you or any help. It will give u peace of mind to what u want to plan ur day like. And since the baby past 3 months baby should be sleeping 4-5hrs straight in the night and try to sleep when the baby sleeps to avoid the frustration during day time and do ur chores as if you don’t have any help. It helped me that way when I Least expected help and did my chores like daily duty thinking I have no help but me and my family to be taken care. Even in future expect that in-laws will come and don’t be in false expectations that they’re here for help. It’s ur home ur responsibility if u get help appreciate it or engage mil in some gossip and mak her cut veggies or small things here and there. If she refuses or it’s a headache to deal w her it’s better to diy. Attending baby and cooking, feeding and changing and getting back to chores is tiresome but u have to hang on to this phase to pass. As every mom goes through this.. One of my friend had same situation her parents couldn’t come but her far relative one aunt visited and stayed for two weeks and left, rest she all alone managed. It all depends on how you balance the situation, don’t take too much stress on why all r behaving like that towards you. Just that u r too occupied and feeling this way. U r lucky to be going to India to stay w ur folks, not everyone gets that chance. Some have to suck up due to status issues etc. just letting you know u r not in that bad situation. Let this phase pass u will have good time. Start fresh when u r back..

 

Expectations leads to disappointments.

Your in laws are your husband's parents.. not your parents. So, don't compare them.

I tell you this from my own experience.

When I delivered my child, my mom moved in with me to help.
During her stay, she took care of me, pampered me, and what not.
She did cook for my H, and did wash his cloths and all. But her intention was not to feed or pamper her SNIL with love, but to reduce her DD's workload (because I would be expected to cook and do the laundry of my H otherwise).

But her focus was very different when she moved in with my brother to help with their childbirth.
This time, she would cook special food which my brother liked, would make his favorite snacks and savories, give him tea and coffee as much as he wanted etc..etc... to make sure he is not deprived of proper caring when his wife has other priorities. Of course she would cook and clean for everyone including the DIL, but definitely her priority won't be looking after the new mom or her needs.

She thinks her duty is to help her children in need. When her DD needed physical and emotional care upon her childbirth, she extended her helping hands.
Similarly, when her son needed a care taker while his wife is on break, she offered to be that care taker to her son.

Even my MIL would do the same. It is normal. As long as they don't abuse you, and don't ill-treat you in any way I think you must let go of these little little discomforts for your own good.

 

OP
I must applaud you for the positive step that you have taken and talked to your H before things go out hand.

Men often cant figure out what to expect unless told about it. They cant understand the emotions and harmones enough. Since he came out of his mom’s womb.. he gets attached to his parents just like you are attached to ur baby.

Hang in there.. i would suggest to make it a ritual to thank for any of the positive thing that you observed in a day. Eg .. thank yourself for one task that you have done today which you have never done before or some help provided by husband. It will relieve some of the stress.