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Who Takes Care? Whom?

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by jayasala42, Feb 6, 2020.

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Feb 8, 2020 #11

jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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Thyagarajan said: ↑

Sad and glad.
Sad That you had a harrowing trying time.
Glad nothing adverse happened to your husband as he was taken for a walk by the attendant.

Glad nothing fatal happened to that attendant.
Sad that a PG in Economics engaged as an (amateur) attendant.

For my mom and dad at one stage we had two attendants from two different agencies for about a month and had hell of a time. They almost needed our attention all the time round the clock.

It must have been terrible for your husband and to you .

I earnestly pray for speedier progress of your husband.

Take care of your health too.
Thanks and Regards.
Click to expand...

Though we have taken care of our aged parents, in those days, we didn;t have agency services.
Thank you for your kind concern.These are all difficult times, one has to face.There is no use of lamenting or cursing our fate.We have to face.
jayasala 42

jayasala42, Feb 8, 2020

jayasala42, Feb 8, 2020

#11
Feb 8, 2020 #12

Agatha83 IL Hall of Fame

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Dear Jayasala,

Considering your age, it’s remarkable you acted with great presence of mind, instead of getting panicky. Any other person even those who are familiar with epileptic seizures, couldn’t have dealt with the situation so very well.

While taking care of my mom, I had to deal with a whole lot of attenders, all very young. None of them coming from the agency, had any experience dealing with bedridden patients, and didn’t even know the names of medicines to be administered to the patient. Every day there was a new face and I was scared about the security of both the patient and ourselves. Most of them were not trained, and those who were trained didn’t last long. It was all a nightmare, giving me sleepless nights. Take care of yourself Jayasala, because only then can you attend to your DH’s needs. Kudos to your courage,
confidence and fortitude.

Agatha83

Agatha83, Feb 8, 2020

Agatha83, Feb 8, 2020

#12
Feb 8, 2020 #13

Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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Suh people can erode the credibility of their agencies. If caregivers need care that too in front of their clients; ? This reminds me of my uber fat childhood doctor whose topic f conversation with his patients was his own high blood pressure and diabetes. Strangely despite that, he had lot of patients. Or may be because of that. The sick probably saw a kindred soul in him.

Balajee, Feb 8, 2020

Balajee, Feb 8, 2020

#13
Feb 8, 2020 #14

joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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jayasala42 said: ↑

It is 50 days since my husband had a fall and there were fractures of shoulder and hip joints.As he was unable to move and turn his hips, after two major surgeries, I got an air bed to avoid bed sores.I contacted an agency and arranged for a male attender to take care of my husband during day time.After giving physiotherapy daily and close follow up for four or 5 times he regained his movements and he is able to get up himself from bed and take a few baby steps with a walker.The agency used to send attenders in turns .It was going smooth for a month.Last thursday the attender was closely following my husband as he was walking with the support of walker.As I was going to wash my hands in the wash basin, I heard a big sound'Aiyo' from my husband.when I rushed a few steps towards hall, the attender had fallen down and he was pulling the walker forcibly from my husband. I ran, caught hold of my husband, made him relax on cot.
Within two mts, I found saliva coming out of the attender's mouth and he was biting his teeth and gums started bleeding.

Definitely it was a sign of seizure. I sprinkled water on his face.no sign of recovery.
Now it was my responsibility to attend to the attender.
I just locked the house with my husband inside, rushed the attender to a nearby hospital.
they gave first aid,some injection and I.V fluids.He had some injury on his back head. Doctors placed some stitches, prescribed medicines.

I brought him back.made him sleep on a mat. My husband was totally panicky. What would have happened had I not rushed to the spot.
The person didn't speak. I telephoned to the man power agent. He said he was in Coimbatore and he would make arrangements to send another person within two hours.
How much of risk we are taking while getting help from agencies?
Do they get any medical fitness cert for the person they recruit?
After two hours ,the person became normal and I gave a tumbler of nice coffee.
He said every month he is getting this convulsion and doctors had said that there is no cure.he says that he had already informed of this to the agency.But the agent came home next day and informed that he was not at all aware of this health condition.I had to say in a stern voice that such negligence amounted to
irresponsibility and I would have become a game for it.Next day he was sent to his native place in Ramanathapuram dt.

We could not imagine what would be my fate ,if he sustained head injury or whether my husband would have lost the balance.In the grim seizure crisis, the attender could not control himself and felt a need for support and the walker was handy for him.
Now I am able to convey what happened. But on the eventful day I had to fix the priority and leave the house for nearly two hours locking my husband.
I had to take the role of attender to the attender.It took a few hrs for my husband to recover from the shock. His imagination ran riot as though some unavoidable thing happening to the attender and we becoming answerable to the police.
For the past one week the agent is sending a 22 year old boy, PG in Econ,hunting for a job. I feel very uncomfortable to see him attend to personal hygiene of a patient .Actually I have to train him to place adult diaper etc etc and instruct him of precautions to be taken while giving bath etc in dealing with old patients having unsteadiness due to fractures.
Sometimes I feel relieved if I am left all alone to attend to the patient than training a new hand in an unknown job.What a terrible experience!
jayasala42
Click to expand...

So sorry to hear all that u had to face. Fortunately, things worked out ok. As far as possible we always feel it is better to do things ourselves, but handling of a patient in such circumstances is definitely not easy, and have to depend on a physically stronger person to manage. My prayers and wishes for your husband to be back on his feet comfortably , soon. Take care.

joylokhi, Feb 8, 2020

joylokhi, Feb 8, 2020

#14
Feb 8, 2020 #15

jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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Agatha83 said: ↑

Dear Jayasala,

Considering your age, it’s remarkable you acted with great presence of mind, instead of getting panicky. Any other person even those who are familiar with epileptic seizures, couldn’t have dealt with the situation so very well.

While taking care of my mom, I had to deal with a whole lot of attenders, all very young. None of them coming from the agency, had any experience dealing with bedridden patients, and didn’t even know the names of medicines to be administered to the patient. Every day there was a new face and I was scared about the security of both the patient and ourselves. Most of them were not trained, and those who were trained didn’t last long. It was all a nightmare, giving me sleepless nights. Take care of yourself Jayasala, because only then can you attend to your DH’s needs. Kudos to your courage,
confidence and fortitude.

Agatha83
Click to expand...

Thank you Agatha.Some people do not even know simple things such as how to make a patient move backwards or sideways without affecting the fractured hip.Having attended to so many patients i have become 50% nurse already.
jayasala42

jayasala42, Feb 8, 2020

jayasala42, Feb 8, 2020

#15
Feb 8, 2020 #16

jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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joylokhi said: ↑

So sorry to hear all that u had to face. Fortunately, things worked out ok. As far as possible we always feel it is better to do things ourselves, but handling of a patient in such circumstances is definitely not easy, and have to depend on a physically stronger person to manage. My prayers and wishes for your husband to be back on his feet comfortably , soon. Take care.
Click to expand...

Thank you Joylokhi. Mental strength alone does not help.The possibility of the both the patient and care giver falling down ,cannot be ruled out.
It is a long process extending over long duration. Somehow we have to manage.
jayasala42

jayasala42, Feb 8, 2020

jayasala42, Feb 8, 2020

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joylokhi likes this.
Feb 8, 2020 #17

Viswamitra Finest Post Winner

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Dear Smt. Jayasala:

I was shocked to hear what you had to go through as you are already going through to put your husband in the path of recovery. The attendant's statement that he gets it every month is a clear indication that the agency didn't screen him for his health. I am glad you prevented a major fall of your husband and at the same time helped the attendant to recover quickly.

It is your presence of mind that saved both your husband and the attendant. My prayers are with you for your husband's speedy recovery.

Viswamitra, Feb 8, 2020

Viswamitra, Feb 8, 2020

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Feb 8, 2020 #18

shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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jayasala42 said: ↑

It is 50 days since my husband had a fall and there were fractures of shoulder and hip joints.As he was unable to move and turn his hips, after two major surgeries, I got an air bed to avoid bed sores.I contacted an agency and arranged for a male attender to take care of my husband during day time.After giving physiotherapy daily and close follow up for four or 5 times he regained his movements and he is able to get up himself from bed and take a few baby steps with a walker.The agency used to send attenders in turns .It was going smooth for a month.Last thursday the attender was closely following my husband as he was walking with the support of walker.As I was going to wash my hands in the wash basin, I heard a big sound'Aiyo' from my husband.when I rushed a few steps towards hall, the attender had fallen down and he was pulling the walker forcibly from my husband. I ran, caught hold of my husband, made him relax on cot.
Within two mts, I found saliva coming out of the attender's mouth and he was biting his teeth and gums started bleeding.

Definitely it was a sign of seizure. I sprinkled water on his face.no sign of recovery.
Now it was my responsibility to attend to the attender.
I just locked the house with my husband inside, rushed the attender to a nearby hospital.
they gave first aid,some injection and I.V fluids.He had some injury on his back head. Doctors placed some stitches, prescribed medicines.

I brought him back.made him sleep on a mat. My husband was totally panicky. What would have happened had I not rushed to the spot.
The person didn't speak. I telephoned to the man power agent. He said he was in Coimbatore and he would make arrangements to send another person within two hours.
How much of risk we are taking while getting help from agencies?
Do they get any medical fitness cert for the person they recruit?
After two hours ,the person became normal and I gave a tumbler of nice coffee.
He said every month he is getting this convulsion and doctors had said that there is no cure.he says that he had already informed of this to the agency.But the agent came home next day and informed that he was not at all aware of this health condition.I had to say in a stern voice that such negligence amounted to
irresponsibility and I would have become a game for it.Next day he was sent to his native place in Ramanathapuram dt.

We could not imagine what would be my fate ,if he sustained head injury or whether my husband would have lost the balance.In the grim seizure crisis, the attender could not control himself and felt a need for support and the walker was handy for him.
Now I am able to convey what happened. But on the eventful day I had to fix the priority and leave the house for nearly two hours locking my husband.
I had to take the role of attender to the attender.It took a few hrs for my husband to recover from the shock. His imagination ran riot as though some unavoidable thing happening to the attender and we becoming answerable to the police.
For the past one week the agent is sending a 22 year old boy, PG in Econ,hunting for a job. I feel very uncomfortable to see him attend to personal hygiene of a patient .Actually I have to train him to place adult diaper etc etc and instruct him of precautions to be taken while giving bath etc in dealing with old patients having unsteadiness due to fractures.
Sometimes I feel relieved if I am left all alone to attend to the patient than training a new hand in an unknown job.What a terrible experience!
jayasala42
Click to expand...

Dear JS Madam,
You have shown great presence of mind and tackled the situation.
We also faced many bad situations when had a caretaker for my father. Agencies play many frauds.
I wish your husband speedy recovery. You too take care of yourself.
Regards
Syamala

shyamala1234, Feb 8, 2020

shyamala1234, Feb 8, 2020

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Feb 8, 2020 #19

MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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I am sorry to hear about this, Ma’am. I am glad your husband is okay. If you are in Chennai I can get the name of the agency my relatives use for their parents.

MalStrom, Feb 8, 2020

MalStrom, Feb 8, 2020

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Feb 8, 2020 #20

jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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Viswamitra said: ↑

Dear Smt. Jayasala:

I was shocked to hear what you had to go through as you are already going through to put your husband in the path of recovery. The attendant's statement that he gets it every month is a clear indication that the agency didn't screen him for his health. I am glad you prevented a major fall of your husband and at the same time helped the attendant to recover quickly.

It is your presence of mind that saved both your husband and the attendant. My prayers are with you for your husband's speedy recovery.
Click to expand...

Thank you Viswa.Certain things just happen.What to do?
jayasala42

jayasala42, Feb 8, 2020

jayasala42, Feb 8, 2020

#20

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