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Fuming Today....:(

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by anika987, Jan 2, 2020.

  1. Agathinai

    Agathinai Gold IL'ite

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    Don’t look at past. Are they with you on your day to day life? Why give importance to such people and college issues now?

    Your husband is supportive and there is never a time to start late for studying, and with his help join a course. Start course which can help land in job. That’s the way to go. It keeps you occupied and in few years time when you finish your course you can land in job.
     
    anika987 likes this.
  2. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Unfortunately those relatives nearby.
    Apart from that,have one more who lives like an hour away but family meets happen often
     
  3. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    I have finished couple of courses.
    Also did few certifications.

    Problem is after a long gap..salary is very less.

    One more thing..once los reaches middle School,before and aftercare problem won’t be there right?But I should wait that long!
     
  4. Agathinai

    Agathinai Gold IL'ite

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    Avoid them if they are rude; that’s my opinion but you discuss with your husband about it. Be it a friend or relative, certain things cannot be tolerated.

    One of which is saying or doing berating things to one’s self esteem.
     
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  5. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Can you avoid the get togethers and family meetings.
    In USA, every job is dignified.
    Why don't you think about babysitting seriously.
    Already most Indian women in your apartment are working.
     
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  6. Agathinai

    Agathinai Gold IL'ite

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    Little less but not totally out of question. All depends on how much you can allow your kid to be alone or having some help. But growing up of kid does help a bit.

    I will advise you on child care job prospects. It’s more flexible and you will never run out of any job offers. That’s better than fixed timing jobs. Check it out. Good luck.
     
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  7. Dynamite

    Dynamite Senior IL'ite

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    I don’t post often here but your post compelled me to come out of my hibernation mode .I can understand your pain because I was/am experiencing something similar .

    After reading your post I feel your husband is right here .Its practically not a wise decision for you to work expecting your husband to WFH for two days in weeks .Work from home is not a luxury everyone gets and sometimes working from home might not be productive for some people .Apart from these there are other practical problems as well

    Can I ask you this ..do you think if you go for this job your relatives will respect you the way you want them to ? Are you sure they won’t comment on the low pay or compare you with others in the family who are in better jobs .People will still find a way to put you down .I think more than a job you need to change the way you think and stop giving importance to how others think about you .

    If you really wanna work assuming you don’t have any visa restrictions why don’t you do something from home like drop/pickup kids for a pay or lunch box services or YouTube vlogs .

    Let me share something which I think will help you to realize people who likes to comment on others will always do no matter what .I am working in IT with a decent pay as per many but yet there are some relatives who put me down or talk about my work lightly because I don’t work for the top companies they think is the best and have compared me to others in the family who work for those top companies .like you I have wasted my precious time on thinking what I should I do to make this people respect me and in that process spoilt my personal life and lost my peace of mind .
     
    Sri2196, MalStrom, Agathinai and 2 others like this.
  8. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    OP,

    if you are interested in trying a job like teaching assistant, you need to go for a certification course for it . In that case you get the same vacations like you kid. My friend left her banking job to become a teaching assistant so that she can take care of her kids/home as her husband has a busy job that needs lot of travelling. May be you can consider something like that. She learned a lot during this process and its useful for her kids too.

    The decision is yours. You can go for job only if you want to do so. If you badly want to have a job, plan and do so. Your husband is right in this case. If you like to have a job, it is good to build experience and that can lead to high paying jobs in future.

    Dont worry about others or society . They are not your providers. Dont care about all those negative comments. No one is living your life. you need to get rid of your complex from your mind. I feel that you are unnecessarily comparing yourself with others. That will give you only pain. Now you have a very supporting husband and a good life. Enjoy that. You dont have to prove anyone anything.

    Regarding the neighbor - You can help her may be one time or a few. But not all the time. In that case say NO or say you will do if paid or you are busy. Also its a big responsibility to take care of someone else kid. If some thing happens they blame you.

    Be proud of your role as a mom and home maker. Stay away from all those negative people in your life.
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2020
    AmulB, Thyagarajan, sindmani and 3 others like this.
  9. mangaii

    mangaii Finest Post Winner

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    $200 profit for working 8 days a month is still good in my pov. First jobs are always crappy. You just need to start somewhere. You can make $2400/year. No need to worry about people asking you questions. It will give you peace of mind. You are not in a happy place. If I were you I will take this job to get break from my mundane life. Changes are hard initially but eventually at least you won't regret you didn't try. Tkd classes are mostly done 3 times a week so skipping that is ok. Music class you can change the teacher. Even you can do online class. I hope you take this job .
     
  10. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    Exactly what I wanted to say as well.

    Anika, you are few of the lucky ones who aren’t forced to work either by your spouse or for real financial needs. But it has always been bothering you emotionally due to all the finger pointing by some lame people around you. They trigger your insecurities perfectly and make you all down n bothered.

    Why don’t you look at a different career path ?
    This neighbor lady, tell you will do it, for a pay. There maybe many who needs help with kids and you can charge them decent money. You maybe able to make more than this 200 very soon.

    Years before, I used to work for a recruitment firm from home as my kid was very small and that work could be done from anywhere across the world as long as the time zone matched. You can probably learn something about recruitment online and call recruitment companies around you and tell them you can recruit for them from home, you need internet and phone.

    You can probably look for any work that you can do online like this and call those companies and convince them that you can do for a lesser price from home. It’s not easy but not impossible.
     

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