Should I Divorce?

Good answer, and good wishes to you, no matter what you decide.

 

No need to be American; people who are economically secure can strike out on their own, and find peace. Now that you are in America, the family law legal system is more helpful for a much faster resolution.

 

Talk to a lawyer.

Talk to husband about seperation and how you can do it with minimum disruption to son's life and least bitterness.How you both can help each other to raise the child even after seperation.....
Since he is a good father,concentrate on this rather than his negatives as a husband .

Share custody, live closeby , start a college fund together for the child.

 

@Lonely12 please read this response by someone that was in a asexual marriage, maybe husbands behavior will make more sense to you . take care

 

After OP's new information (giving up job in desh, going off to phorin with a non-work-dependent visa, being jobless/friendless for years, and now have a job etc...) I changed my vote to "YES".

The thread's opening post (where OP gets no love nor sex from someone she doesn't like or love or even want to talk to) reminded me of an old conversation between two ladies at a resort at their lunch Table:

Lady1: The Food here is terrible, isn't it ?
Lady2: You are SOoooo right. It is awful. And such small serving portions too.​

If OP's contention of husband might prefer to avoid her be true, a divorce may be mutually agreeable as well. As in many other cases in real life, she may have to bide her time until her circumstances are good enough to launch herself as a free agent.

The absence of physical abuse, and no demand for physical closeness/intimacy are all positives in her life.

 

While contemplating the sunk cost fallacy (in the thread of @Patientone ) I got to reading about how this is in the brains of mice, rats, and humans in an article from Science. Experimental designs are fun to read -- if you are the sort that often wonders how people go about testing whatever hypothesis that seems reasonable...

Describes the observation on how humans consider the time&effort they had already invested in waiting for a reward makes them wait some more time. The same goes for mice and rats. The experimental design involves waiting in line (queue) to get a reward.

Sensitivity to “sunk costs” in mice, rats, and humans

This article fails miserably in addressing the problem that I have often had in supermarket queues at the cashier's counter. There would be many counters with queues of varying lengths, and I would decide to wait in one where there are no girls with baby carriages, or old women who would sure to be fumbling for their purses for a godawful long time etc... And for whatever reason (god punishing my bad thoughts.... usually) my line would stall, because some young guy at the head of the line would have no pricetag on his item, and the cashier had called in for a price-check. All the pregnant girls, and seniors in the next line that is moving along at a good clip, would be laughing at me. And if I get tempted, and switch queues, the new line I joined will stall, and the old line would move like lightening. After much humiliation, I have decided to stick to the line I join at first, say a prayer to the queue-god (there must be one!) and plod.

 

It works in case of Tirupati. Devotion is amplified especially when one is nearing the sanctum sanctorium because ''All of this jostle and wait should have some meaning and purpose''.

 

So so glad, you are working outside.
How’s your IL situation? Do they like you?

Now, fix your immigration status- citizenship or your own GC. Build some nest eggs. Make some good friends and acquaintances. Doing all this, don’t separate. Even friends are easier to make, while married. Do not beg for his equal partnership in marriage while you are doing. Please also start going out with your girl gang.
All above, is not to make him jealous but to establish a life style for yourself, while still being married.
After doing all above (shd take 2-3 years), he might have changed- meaning become a little better to live as roommates. If not, then you give him ultimatum and bring him to table. If he stonewalls you still and being mean still, then go ahead with divorce.
Before divorce, just know that there are very few good men out there, so if you can live alone for next 5 ( hopefully in 5 years you will find someone) or forever, drawing strength from your lifestyle, then go ahead and divorce.