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How Do I Say No

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Vedhavalli, Oct 12, 2019.

  1. virtualkv2020

    virtualkv2020 Platinum IL'ite

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    Holidays?? She even had the nerve to ask for that. Tell her “ Listen honey in today’s era with no domestic help I have hell lot of things to do and you expect me to provide you service? I like to rest and spend the holidays with my own family in peace and privacy.I would appreciate you if you could stop trying to evade my private space.”
     
    anika987, shravs3 and Vedhavalli like this.
  2. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    I wish I could do this. Hypothetically after the rules & fees if I say no, she would come again. :eek::BangHead:
    Ideally I don't want to teach her son because I'm not running a tutoring academy or a language teacher.
    If he doesn't show interest or pickup, she would blame me.
    She wanted to know my schedule of the week, it's high time. I said no. After that 'holiday' thing came up.
    I asked why, she coolly says if I could see any day if my son is free. That's it last bullet dodged on me. I'm done.
    Problem her kid my child goes to same school.
    I wonder why she can't take a no for money or time or both

    PS. I'm actively searching online, offline classes for her :facepalm:
     
  3. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    @kveena dear I can't be rude to her. Her son my kid goes to same school. I have to see her face 2 times a day. People push buttons
    When the holidays comes I would say this bookmarked the page. I don't teach my own child, why I would do for other kid?
     
  4. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes without reason I have to learn to say no. If I do so, people would ask me why? What? Etc.
    Simple no.
     
  5. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    Arre yaar, you still didn’t understand? Above sentence clearly tells her reason for asking you again and again. She is trying to save the fees of the language class! It is precisely because you are sending your kid there that she’s behind you to teach her kid right now! As per her calculation, She has figured that in order to teach her kid you will obviously turn to and use the teaching materials from your kid’s class. That’s all! So her kid will get the gyan for free and she wouldn’t have to pay the fees to join him in the class.
    So she put maska, buttered you up with ‘oh you speak the language so well’ ‘oh you write so well please guide’ ‘ you are the only one who can teach my kid’ etc etc.

    And you - you are not cooperating nor are you understanding her problem nor cutting her off! Hehehe! You must be driving her crazy twice a day, everyday!

    Now stop breaking your head on this and stop looking for classes for her kid. She doesn’t want to join her kid in classes. She wants you to teach the kid for free.
     
  6. virtualkv2020

    virtualkv2020 Platinum IL'ite

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    By using the right words with a stern voice you can prevent her from asking you unreasonable favors. You don’t need to cut ties with her completely and if she does she is no real friend. If you are still too polite she won’t leave you.
     
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  7. virtualkv2020

    virtualkv2020 Platinum IL'ite

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    I think you should stop investing your time n effort in searching classes for her.If she comes to know about this and she will dance on your head till you agree.
     
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2019
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  8. paru123

    paru123 Gold IL'ite

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    Tell your friend that you have absolutely no interest in teaching. You dont have the patience to teach calmly. You might hit n shout at the child if the boy makes mistakes. This should scare her off.

    There was one lady in our society who would indirectly ask me to teach her kid maths. I refused saying i dont like to teach. There are good professional teachers in the nearby areas, she was thinking on money terms and her time for pick n drop that would get wasted. Teaching one kid would be a waste of my time.

    Also have noticed that if anything goes wrong during the teaching, they will be the first ones to criticize even if the student had failed to do his studies on time. Saying teacher is not good.

    Btw did you ever stress the need or importance of learning mother tongue to her that she is so hell bent that you should teach her kid.

    Next time ask her "why do u think I put my kid for classes instead of teaching her at home"
     
  9. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

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    The next time she asks, just say"Sorry not possible" and immediately change the topic asking her about something else..For this you will need to think of a topic ready..

    If she still answers your other question & comes back to this, excuse yourself , leave the place/ try to fiddle with your phone..All these suggestions because you cannot cut ties with her, & also because you happen to see her twice in a day..
     
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  10. Positivity02

    Positivity02 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,
    IMO, Asking her to pay high fee for your tutoring is not a good idea because all this while you have been saying no stating you are already occupied. Now if OP says she can teach for a fee, then it might look like she had been stalling all this time just to gain fees.
    OP try diverting the topic and keep the conversation minimum with her. You might have heard a saying in Tamil" thoonguravana eluppalam aana thoongura madhiri nadikiravana eluppa mudiyadhu" (You can wake up some one who is sleeping but not some one who acts like sleeping).
     
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