Should I Work Or Stay Home

Rihana · May 12, 2019

ATI said: ↑

...This one hurts a lot and has made me realize I have to get back to work after this break!!
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Focus on this sentence of yours. You are getting back to work. You want to make good use of this time to bond with child. You also want to use this time to see how you can streamline your work at home so you have more time with child when back to work.

The party organization: do it. This usually falls in the woman's to-do list. The insurance for parents - it takes hours of research and calling up providers. Tell him you cannot make the time for it. But say it tactfully. Don't make it a long argument about "this is not why I took a break.." Just say that it takes lot of time and you want to focus on your child.

SinghManisha · May 13, 2019

It is good you got a chance to take a break and see how things will turn out. You will be much more charged and enthusiastic to get back to work now. Only take on what you can do happily , without feeling like you are being taken advantage of. Happy mother’s day !

ATI · Sep 11, 2019

Thank you all for your support and help. I wanted to provide an update at the end of this 6 month experience.

You were right!!!

I am going back to work at the end of this month. Working at a job that gives me some flexibility to work from home. We are getting a tutor to help with my son and keeping a nanny. So kind of going back to where I was at the start of this but atleast now I know staying at home isnt an option for me.

Main reasons:
- I felt lost and unfulfilled without work. I dont have any hobbies like art or music so after kids go to school I dont have a lot to do. Its very hard since I have been so active and busy all my life. There were days when I would just stand in the kitchen wondering what to do next.
- I was able to do a lot with DS in the past 6 months and I feel like he has made good progress. Time will tell.
- While DH never questioned how I spent money I felt guilty every time I bought something. Even going out for dinner I didnt like going to good place because I felt like I was spending money I didnt earn. Or buying clothes - I didnt like buying nice things because I felt like I dont really need and dont have anywhere to wear it etc. Then I would buy something cheap and it wont look good and I felt bad that I didnt look good.
- Staying home while my ILs were here was so awkward!! I basically had to hide in my bedroom most of the day and I hated it. Every time I left to do something they kept asking where i was going, why, what etc and it was like I was a kid reporting to them all the time.
All of our family decided to visit us during my 6 month break. I am not kidding. I had 2 days in the last 6 months when someone wasnt staying with us. My ILs, my parents, my cousin, DH's brother, DH's cousin, my aunt and uncle. It was insane!!!

Anyway thats that. It was a nice break for me but time to get back into the grind! But I am going to ask DH to do more this time around. Now that I know I wont quit working DH cant say he will only focus on work while I do work+ everything else. First thing - DH has agreed to do all the shopping. I am going to do 1 month where he does work + shopping and see how that goes before adding anything else to his plate. Will keep you all posted

Rihana · Sep 11, 2019

ATI said: ↑

T
I am going back to work at the end of this month. Working at a job that gives me some flexibility to work from home.
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Good for you. You were able to try out the stay-at-home and make a fully informed decision.

Nice to read the update.