Moving Back To India

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by mangaii, Aug 27, 2019.

  1. mangaii

    mangaii Finest Post Winner

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    Hi all,
    I have decided to move back to India to focus on my mental health. I really miss my family and recently I have been going through health problems one after another . I have lived life in India and I have been very healthy. Most of my health issues are due to my depression . I don't enjoy life in US anymore. I have made up my mind to move back to India for 4 years and then make a decision. Things I'm considering are my kids school and my job. My kids are currently enrolled in 8th grade and 4th grade which means they will move to 9th and 5th next year. I have already reading lot of information about r2i . My main questions are how do I support my kids to transition ? What about their second language ? From my cousins they all say many schools offer second language like French. I understand kids will have difficult time initially but I think I would try now rather than later. My main reasons for moving are
    1. My mental and physical health
    1. cost of living in US really high
    2.I'm worried about college expense for my kid.
    4.I'm a religious person and I love going to temple.
    5.No one from either side visits us here so no family connection in US.

    My husband will be staying in US so I'm wondering will it be ok for kids to come for post-grad to study here . I have only one parent living and she is not dependent on me . There is no compelling family reasons. But I just don't enjoy being in US anymore . It doesn't excite me. I do work but the money is not making me happy. My biggest concern is splitting the family. Is it too late ? I have worked really hard last 10 years and I feel how much ever I try a big part of me is missing . I own a home in India. I'm wondering on an average what would be the running expense of family of 3 with 2 school going kids.What about health insurance ?
    I do plan on working after 3-6 months. How hard is to get job for developer ? I would appreciate your thoughts
     
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  2. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    I was actually dumbstruck reading your thread..coz if you have read my threads many are about India and how I miss India..

    So,I understand you.

    But when you say mental health..is it becoz you do not like the mechanical life or you are generally depressed for other reasons?Why am asking is..if you are depressed for other reasons,you can consult a doctor and take medication and enjoy your stay in USA.if you still feel depressed,you can try to make a move.
     
  3. SpringB

    SpringB Platinum IL'ite

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    OP, It’s not impossible but it’s not easy at this stage when kids are ready for 9th. Do check cost of education in India too. NRI kids will pay a different fee in schools/colleges compared to Citizens. Until 12 th standard kids have to go International school whose fees varies with the state. Similarly for college education kids have to compete in entrance exams. Not easy when the concept of exams is still new.

    Kids entering adolescence will have their own set of challenges. One need to be careful in Moving them at this stage. New place change of weather have to make new friends totally different education system added to emotional and mental changes they go through should be considered. Single Parenting is not easy unless there’s a grandparent or caregiver at home.

    It’s not a 9-5 job situation in India. Big cities never sleeps meaning people are expected to work in shifts mostly. So consider all pros and cons. Good luck.
     
  4. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Mangaii, I hope and pray you feel better.
    This post from you was surprising but this is life.
    Assuming the marriage is going fine, are you ok disrupting a otherwise normal life for the kids and husband. Have you asked the kids and your husband ? What are their opinions ?
    I assume you did seek medical help for your depression ? Has that helped at all ?
    Before you make a move, take a break from work. Live in India for a month or two . Recuperate and also decide if living there makes you happier.
    I would worry about your 9th grader. Teenage years are difficult as it is.
    I wish you the very best. Lots of healing !
     
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  5. deepthivinayak1

    deepthivinayak1 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi,
    I would say think more times before you move. Here you feel depressed as u are alone but in India, even everyone there ,u will meet them rarely. India has bit changed now. Traffic, crime and everything. I was like you , I feel I should return to India as soon as possible because of same reason loneliness. It’s all in our hands, here you find friends in neighborhood or in community meetings. You can volunteer in temple and other social activities. You can make yourself engaged in activities like this so that it will change your depression. There are friends who went to India for same reason but now they think USA is better. Here we have relaxed life, workvise and house hold work too. We miss relatives and friends in India but u can form a friends group to make you engaged. Just talk with your family(. Husband n kids) now kids are in teen stage, they will miss their father and will b easy transition for them to settle in India.
     
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  6. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Are your children US citizens? The cost of living and kids education is pretty high in India so if you concerned about expenses then make sure you take that into account.
     
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  7. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    I do agree with this part. Until unless you choose to live a frugal life consciously, it’s not cheap at all. Average expense for a family in a top metro city with a house, car, helpers, eating out, goin out, shopping, general upper middle class living runs easily to 1-1.5 lakh n more, (rental houses/ housing loan increases this). But then this changes according to each’s living style.

    Education fees again are a huge part.. it runs easily from 150,000 for pre nursery to 15-20,000,000 for grade 12 for good international schools, IB / IGCSE syllabus..
    ICSE will be lesser, CBSE even lesser..
    but that changes according to their infra, teachers quality n their overall school quality as well.. Any other extra coaching, training is additional.
     
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  8. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Is it possible to give option to kids to stay in India or us? As one parent will live at both places. Everyone has the right to live as per their wish. I dont know it's practical or not but I do feel that they should also have a say and right to decide about their own life. You need not to change your plans but have to get ready to be more strong to accept their decision.
     
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  9. Sandyr46

    Sandyr46 Gold IL'ite

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    'GRASS ALWAYS SEENS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE'

    Weigh pros and cons and then take a decision. Also get urself checked perhaps its onset on menopause. Tc.
     
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  10. SpringB

    SpringB Platinum IL'ite

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    If for health reasons if you want to go and live in India for a while and rejuvenate yourself, is it possible your children and husband can manage by themselves in us? . This is bit difficult but still doable. Just a thought. Take care
     
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