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How To Motivate Partner For Becoming Fit

Discussion in 'Keep Fit & Maintain Shape' started by shravs3, Jun 8, 2018.

  1. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    Me and my DH joined a gym 3 months back . Initially we where regular . But after few days my DH lost interest in gym. Gym has lot of programs like Zumba , Yoga, swimming etc , but DH is not at all serious in attending the gym.
    Simply we are paying money but not utilising the gym efficiently . I am very much interested going to gym regularly but he is not . He just keeps giving reasons and excuses which I feel so bad and get irritated . The main problem is , the membership plan is such that without my DH I can’t enter the gym as he is the primary member . I agreed for that plan so that both will not give excuses for missing the gym but it turned out total opposite . Sometimes I even tell we can go for a park and walk , only few times he agrees but most of the times he gives excuses. Rarely he by himself tells we should go for a walk !

    He is very lazy :worried:
    This is driving me crazy :unamused:

    How should I make him understand that we need to allocate some time for exercise too !
    And coming to diet , he is a foodie so Not following proper diet too. He craves hotel food a lot ,even after me preparing at home . Weekly once is fine , but he wants at least thrice to go to hotel . I try telling him eating regularly out is not good . Initially he agrees but later on same old drama :anguished:. If I tell something he asks me to stop giving lecture . What do I do ??:mad:
     
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2018
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  2. sokanasanah

    sokanasanah IL Hall of Fame

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    Initial enthusiasm followed by fading motivation is a common story with gym memberships. Just change the plan around so that you are the primary member. He can go if/when he wants to. If you are more driven to get your daily exercise, then take care of that first. You cannot make your husband do what he does not want to do. Your pleas will always come across as nagging. Focus first on what lies within your power.
     
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  3. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Make your target achieve that and show him how much fat he look in front of you. That may work as it worked for me. He atleast thought of losing some weight. Rest men are men no one can change them until and unless they want to.
     
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  4. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    I can do this ,But I am worried about his health too! Since he is also obese , he tells he will do but never follows and gives excuses that’s the main problem.
     
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  5. sokanasanah

    sokanasanah IL Hall of Fame

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    Ah, but note that the primary member thing is an administrative issue. Nothing changes. If he wants to go, he still can. You cannot make him do what he is not motivated to do. If you are concerned about his health, then have him work with a trainer. That may provide moral support, motivation, and adult supervision. Your exhortations are unlikely to have any effect.
     
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  6. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    @shravs3,

    what @sokanasanah says is right. Make exercise your primary focus. That said, if gym does not interest him, may be you can sign up for a 5k walk/run in your area - you have been exercising and feel the motivation to do more (could be used as an excuse) and see if that motivates him to get on his feet. I have always observed that group activities help better to motivate people - the groups not only are there to offer support but also allow you to work at your own pace, not to mention the people at various levels of fitness that we meet. Find a runners/walkers group and see if that is something that can help you and in the process your husband. I am only suggesting as this has helped me immensely - I do group spinning workout at the gym and I train with a runners group to run half/full marathons. Personally, for yoga, swimming and zumba I need to be self motivated to take me to that class or to do my own practice. Hope this helps.
     
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  7. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:It seems tad easy.
    I often drop something that is not fragile and automatically she picks it up. She ever knew that I wantonly do this. But she is exercised of course not in one go. She says I am butterfinger.

    Thanks and Regards.
    God Bless.
     
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  8. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    HahAhaha good one :roflmao:
     
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  9. riyass

    riyass Guest

    ask him to take you to hotel twice , if he is eating in hotel one time . go one step beyond him then he will automatically come to your way.
     
  10. sbonigala

    sbonigala Platinum IL'ite

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    Fitness is an achievement driven by self motivation. I am sorry I do not have any ideas but I do realised that I cannot change what my H feels about going to gym or a run or anything in relation to staying fit.
    I am very motivated. I wake up at 5:30 and workout but he wont even bother to go for an evening walk. I stopped discussing fitness with him.
    I understood that if the motivation comes from within, it is sustainable.
     
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