What Do You Advice?

In laws are here for close to 2 months now. From the day they are landed, FIL is absolutely fine but where as MIL only talking to her son and grandchild. I am trying my best to talk to her and make her comfortable if at all she is uncomfortable with me. As kids are home for summer break, this is the first time in my kids life they are staying home and sleeping and waking up late. I am really really thankful to In laws. because of them, kids are eating and sleeping properly. I really owe them for taking care of my kids (of course their grand children). Every day I wake up around 5am. Before me and my husband head out to office at 7am, we cook breakfast and lunch, kids lunch then clean the sink and every minute task that we can complete before we both leave to office. As soon as I am home, I wont sit down straight to kitchen to handle dinner stuff. She helps me with cutting veggies. since a week she is cooking curry for dinner, I really appreciate it. But that doesnt mean that I got to stay out of kitchen. there will be some or other tasks once I go home. so far so good right. Here is the issue:

Due to some old and recent issues, SILs stopped talking to me. Where as I didnt know they are not talking to me, I was wishing them on occasions in family group and I was normal with my behavior. But I drastically changed due to their inhuman behavior, my husband also aware of it (dont want to talk about it now) so I totally stopped calling them but message in family group.When in laws were shopping back in India SILs helped them, then when I was asking over the phone about the details about the saree or something there wont be response. First few calls I thought its signal problem, I am not hearing them. but later realized they dont want to talk so they are quite , or they used to give to MIL. If my dh is on the phone they tell him color, cloth,etc. I have completely ignored them and MIL's behavior. But whole heatedly I was waiting for In laws, thats how I am treating them. But MIL has completely stopped talking to me for no reason. In front of dh she acts normal. But where as me, I am keep talking to her no matter of her response. She dont even care what/ how I am doing. She pretends I don't exists in that home. I have no clue why she is acting that way. I am not letting slip any cooking or cleaning work to her. But in 13 years of married life I really made my self very comfortable and be my self in their presence. Might be she is not liking I am free, or she is not happy I am not talking to her daughters...or I have no clue. Every day she talks to them for hours, I have no absolute issues with that. As long as she is happy and taking rest - I am happy.

BTW, husband is taking very very good care of her, just like a 5yr old kid. mom eat more, mom drink little water, mom stretch legs in the car on hand rest. Mom sleep for sometime - just like a baby. where as I am fully taking care of kids, so he can spend full time with them. Taking them outside the maximum and trips are going on. I have no freaking clue, why she is like that. What are your suggestions? Ask her , what is bothering her? Just leave the bee hive untouched?

 

5 years back when they were here, I infact felt worse than this with new born baby and 5 yr old kid. Fault is with me, then also I didnt open my mouth knowing her mentality very well, I was scared of her. My husband stood for me that time to look after my few needs, that made entire family one side, we both one side. She used to cry almost every day and make big scene, but we both never ever opened mouth or said anything just used to feel clueless. OMG, I seriously dont understand what this mom and sisters are up to. I am definitely not meeting their standards like doing pooja for MIL, FIL, SIL. Every single person I meet or know me, they really appreciate my thinking and sensible behavior. Where as these human-beings think I am the meanest on the earth. If I say a word, they take it totally opposite. If I say: your curry is nice kids are really liking it then immediately she says, Oh I dont know from tomorrow I will make in your style. FIL keep saying she is saying curry is nice, then she interrupts him saying you be quite you wont get it. whats wrong with this lady.

Today Friday, big day for her pooja. Every day I used to prepare food before taking bath, but today for her pooja help I took bath at 5 then came to kitchen started cooking for her pooja and for our lunch box. At 6:30 she she entered kitchen literally made me get out of the kitchen by blocking me from stove. I have no clue whats wrong I did, or she was expecting. We have plans of moving back to India just to live with them in the old age and take care of them. But her behavior is really making me nervous. I was literally felt, pushed out of the house at 6:45 ( I have no clue , so came to office with sad mood).My husband was noticing everything and asked me to ignore and go relax, let her cook. But i feel so guilty to be in home when she is cooking and I am not, so came to office. Anything I say, she will start with sarcasm and attacks me nicely.

Always my husband was feeling guilty (of course she is good at it) for making her cry last time, now he is also bearing her more than his tolerant level. Might be I need to turn little harsh or bit stronger to handle her. Every single minute I am imagining my late mom in her, so couldnt say anything or talk back.