Thanks aunty for giving this reply. You truly are an inspiration to me and always give lots of positive energy. I feel that I too can become a little like you. You gave love to all and also getting it back. I really respect you a lot.
Superb ...nice of u to bring this up.. Sometimes we think about it but don't follow it.. Thanks for sharing it dear ❤
Hi, don't worry about being a great writer or to find fascinating words from dictionary to elaborate and pen down your feelings. Living in joint setup that too for 7years itself is a great feat. Applaud you for that. I too stay with inlaws (3+yrs married) ... it's like hell. Who needs condoms or contraceptive pills when insecure and jealous in-laws are there affecting our privacy and always interested to be in our bedroom. Anyways, nice points but I have stopped taking this "karma" thing too serious. I try to do good to others but if I know someone is harming me, I am not a saint to still be good to them. I have set my limitations and it's "their karma". If they are good to me, I shall return the same good to them. If they are bad, I shall silently remove their existence from my life. I don't need to waste my energies with negative people even if its in-laws. Ultimately I married their son and not to serve selfish liar manipulative abusively inlaws n bear them. Sacrifice is a big term. As long as it is worth, I'm all for it. But if there is only one side Sacrifice, nope...I am better off to be a lil selfish and put my self respect and my value first. The ultimate secret of a happy marriage - 1.Lessen your expectations from your partner. 2. Point number 1 doesn't mean that you be a saint. Even God has expectations from his bhakts. Lol. Basic expectations from partner should be - Mutual respect, trust, loyalty, honesty and love. 3. Value yourself first and respect yourself and your happiness should be your priority. Unless you love yourself, nobody else will. 4. The first few years of marriage is important to set the foundation and build a stronger marriage. So make sure you dont bend backwards too much in initial days in the hope of getting crowned as "mrs. Best daughter in law". - that will never happen evem if you sacrifice your whole life and earn platinum points of good karma. Lol. 5. Kids should be born out of love and not because inlaws or parents forced or that your biological clock is a time bomb which might blast if you dont seduce your hubby and get preggy. 6. After kids, dont forget to take care of your needs and husbands needs n care. Kids will one day growup and will fight for having privacy and hate parents for too much interfering in their lives. So love your kids do everything for them but dont forget to keep your bedroom life alive and take care of your health and diet as well. 7. Take control of your own thoughts. Its very easy to advice others but sometimes we ourselves wont be able to follow those advices and lose our minds. 8. Don't be eager to judge others when you get hurt of getting judged. Think thousand times before you pass a comment on someone. 9. Being assertive of what you can tolerate and what you will not without raising voice or shouting. This is something I failed till now to achieve. Still learning. 10. In career, having to be silent when you are wrongfully insulted by seniors to satisfy their own ego and showing off their power.
Thanks for the reply dear. Hope you are doing good..it's difficult to learn and more difficult to follow always but achieving this is not impossible. TC.
Thanks for the reply dear. This was the kind of reply I was looking forward to. Do not know why many are pressing the like button and are not giving any reply. You seem to be a very practical person. The last point that you said I now apply this at my home. Few of my family members have ego and want to be correct always and show how much they know about the world and I lack in it. Sometimes it is true and other times I agree to them to satisfy their ego. I stopped correcting people and expecting any award from them. But I cannot stop my duty towards them. My h support me and love me that's more than enough. What other people want or think not my business. They used to show so much anger and frustration on me which is now hidden as I serve them a lot. This is my karma. I chosen to serve instead of doing daily fights and lose my mental position. They are happy that they need not to do anything for me and I am serving them daily and I am happily living in peace. If for any reason I need their help they can't say no and step back. Every relative and neighbors are praising me a lot. I am making a strong place for me by being what I am. No matter how much my mil likes me or not I daily touch her feet and she is bound to give me the blessings. Everything is going good then why to change to change someone. Good karma make you achieve a lot.
@messedup Joint family teaches us on various subjects.I learnt a lot and even after 48 yrs.of married life i get a Load of Love from my dear and Near ones. " If someone ask for something then give it to them without getting worried of how important or costly it is. As we all came on earth to pay back our loans. It may be a part of that loan that you have to pay. " The same words were said by a good samaritan with a slight change "you are debted to some people and that's why repaying in this Janmaa. Don't think that you helped them but they neglect you"
Thanks for the reply mam. I was eagerly waiting for your reply. Please tell us few more of your learnings. 48 years is such a long time. Hopefully looking forward for your reply.
@messedup The secret of my 48 yrs.married life is COMPROMISE.In our generation elders taught the lesson on ADJUSTMENT which brings Happiness at one stage.In a family if there is no Ego then no one is a winner or no one is a Loser.To shed Possessiveness have two or three children and your time will be spent on them and you have no time to think about your dh whether he is a momma boy or not. My POV may not be accepted but it helped me a lot to have Peace
I do agree with this. But your level is much higher. I am just a beginner. Thanks for replying again.
