Mind Over Matter: The Meditation Club

Dear Madam Gauri,
For quite sometime I didn't see the thread on'mind over matter. As I see today many valuable discussions are on and thank all the participants for the same.When you talked about CBT, ( is it cognitive behavioural therapy?) I am reminded of an incident when I was 10 years old. My eldest sister, 4 months pregnant with her first child had come home for some religious formalities.
My brother-in-law's elder brother had married his own aunt's daughter and ill luck would have it, all his three children, a boy and two girls were born deaf and dumb.
Day in day out my sister was seeing these children speaking with signs etc.When her pregnancy was confirmed, she got the fear that the child born to her also would be deaf and dumb.She could not reveal this fear to her husband or in-laws.
When she came home, my mother welcomed her and every one was happy to welcome the first grandchild.But my sister was very morose. She cried during sleep.My patti ( father's mother)was particular in bringing a pujari and do some loud poojas with drums to drive away the evil spirit.The pujari came with some udukkai ( drums) She was made to dishevell her hair.With a big kunkum tilak and white ash on her forehead she was nodding her head in high speed.Within one hour that pujari got dakshina and went away. From the beginning my mother was not inclined to bring the pujari but she could not not intervene.
That evening my Amma took the initiative, made my sister lean on her laps, slowly and stadily began the talk and amidst conversation she was able to find the cause of depression.She brought three months old neighbour's grandchild home and allowed my sister fondle the baby as her own.Very often she said'Look, the baby is looking at you.Tries to talk to you with giggles.See this is how your child also will respond to you within months.'My mother composed a special lullaby for the baby to born and asked my sister to sing the song daily.Fortunately neighbours had no objection in my sister's fondling their granddaughter daily. It was almost a practise session or rehearsal .Within 15 days my sister became encouraged .She was brought home during the 8th month.There were no hospitals. As usual my mother conducted safe delivery of the girl baby. 6 lbs weight. She was named as 'pattu' meaning silk.The child started saying dual syllabled words like 'thatha ,kaka in the 6th month. My sister delivered 6 children, all are normal.
My mother had not studied even upto 3rd standard,She had any idea of neither brain functioning ,nor of CBT.But she was able to get at the problem correctly and devised suitable methods to bring my sister back to normalcy.I think she was better suited to be a counsellor than the educated qualified ones.
To understand the state of mind, one need not be highly educated.Just understanding and common sense will solve many problems,unless there is real cause for concern.

Thank you Madam and all other scholarly participants who have shared their valuable thoughts and enriched the thread.We have to attend to our permanent uninvited guests ( age related disorders),unwilling to leave us.

jayasala 42

 

thanks for your reply. TRUST you returned refreshed spiritually too from retreat.
2. Yes the very foundation is to discover how thoughts as ordained by Lord originates in brain of species.
3. Knowledge of brain functions is complete only when para 2 ibid is answered to understand past present and future karma including liberation.
Regards.
GOD BLESS.

 

@Viswamitra
I am in kumbakonam on pilgrimage and drawn to it by research on thought process. Shall revert with more soon.
Regards.
God in kudandhsi you are almost in every street masqueraded in different avatars.

 

@jayasala42 ji...what a nice practical example for CBT...How I wish today's parents have atleast some time to attend to the emotional needs of the children as it is really important for the overall well being of the individual. Everywhere we turn around, we could hear experiences of relatives, friends, colleagues or acquaintance suffering from different types of mental problems...they say clinical depression, bipolar disorder, PTSD, OCD, BPD, dementia, Alzheimer etc..I was also planning to meet a counselor due to increased stress as I understood my reactions to my problems were not appropriate..

My brother who is a doctor had rounds of discussions with around 3-4 psychiatrist friends of his regarding the therapy and the medication..To our shock, irrespective of the type of mental issue, most of them prescribed xanax or prozac, the drugs that calms the brain and CNS through intervention therapy.No doctor studied the brain before coming out with a conclusion..The patients were diagnosed based on their symptoms alone that were articulated verbally to the doctor..How much of a accurate analysis would that be? If we have a heart attack, we image the heart and study it in detail before arriving at any conclusions..same holds good for any other medical conditions..but why is no such thing being done for depression to understand the affected areas of brain and intensity of damage...So In this case, how is the dosage of medicine decided with no evident justification of the severity of damage?

So the next question is do we really need medications to treat our condition?Mental health care is becoming a booming business venture nowadays with giant pharmaceutical companies trying their best to maximize their profits! Medication should be relied on only as a last resort when things just get out of control..So I understood that I still have the ability and conscience to monitor the state of my mind and understand the turbulences associated with it.
Also 70 % of cases with depression can be treated just by being around people who love us and eating healthy food. That is why I now feel, that whenever I am with my parents I feel happy and safe. I dont feel stressed out at all or have any anxiety attacks..Talking to my mother is my mood enhancer. If I talk and cry it out to her, I get the required strength to face the world...

 

Thoughts and emotions: Some of the keywords that keeps highlighting itself in my mind are reinforcement, conditioning, synchronise, being aware. Its so lightening to even feel that we can have control over our thoughts and emotions. Just like how washing a dirty linen removes the dirt, repeated positive reinforcements is capable of removing the mentally exhausting pessimistic thoughts out of the brain. Thoughts and emotions are the fundamental building block that defines the mental stability of a person.

Thoughts are due to our own beliefs, perceptions of the worldaround us that is highly skewed or erroneous due to the different conditions we were all brought up in..This is why we say, a child brought up in an abusive household would become an abuser when he grows up. Whereas a child that is brought up in a loving and intellectual environment tends to gravitate towards that direction. So, the very good thing about thoughts are if we are conscious enough, we can change them if we find that a particular thought is draining.

Emotions are flow of feelings be it joy, anger, sadness, fear triggered as a response to our thoughts or a real life situation. Emotions have the potential to produce different physiological, behavioural and cognitive changes that can either be beneficial or detrimental...As the emotions are directly related to the thought, changing thought would change the emotions.

So what is the easiest way to change a thought? We just have to divert or alter it or just shift our attention..So easy to say, but difficult to adopt.Researchers say 50% of happiness is fetermined by genes, 10% by circumstances and remaining 40 % by the intentional efforts to be happier. Right now I am writing this post because, I want to change the working pattern of my brain, I want to re-synchronize my neuron connections and get accustomed to the techniques of controlling the thought by repeated reinforcement.
As @Gauri03 has lucidly told in one of her posts about giving a gap between the arrival of thought and reacting to it emotionally. That gap, that pause of few microseconds has a potential to change the course of our lives!

So I took a notebook and wrote down an algorithm as to how I will process a thought in my brain.

1) Flow of a random thought into the brain
2) Check whether it is a good thought or a bad thought
3) If its a good thought, feel happy, grateful. The flow ends for a good thought
4) If its a bad thought,
i) start taking deep breaths. Dont allow the thought to dominate your current state of mind i.e being mindful
ii) Then Intercept the thought with 3 questions, Is it true?, Is it real? and Can I do something about it?
iii) In most of the cases, the thought and associated emotion is imaginary germinating from anxiety and over thinking. If that is the case, keep taking deep breath till the attention gets shifted.
iv) Incase the thought acts so quickly, we might have an uncontrollable detonation of emotions due to a real situation like fighting with someone. We swiftly lose control of our thoughts and emotions and become puppets to it. I am very poor in controlling my mind in such situation. I either cry or yell..I dont want to do both of this so my mindful practice for the next time is to leave the region of dispute..
Just like how control rods made of boron or cadmium control a nuclear fission reaction by absorbing extra neutrons and hence preventing an uncontrolled chain reaction and an explosion, we should enhance our cognitive ability to control our uncontrolled emotional reactions to situations.

 

@Sweety2016,

One another thing to watch is whether a bad thought is somewhat related to deep emotion related to prior experience. Every thought and every experience are happening for a reason. When we establish the connection, the resolution becomes easier. If not, we need to isolate that thought through a pleasant mindful exercise to temporarily get over it. Permanent relief comes only when we establish the connection.

The other method is to break the chain of life and consider each thought and experience as experienced by different experiencer. This model I tried and worked well for me.

 

Is it Sakshi bhaava ? Can you please explain more to make us understand?

 

@vidhyalakshmid,

Sakshi Bhaava is becoming the Atma and experiencing we are not this body or mind. Remaining unattached to every belonging, thoughts, relationships, desires, etc. That is a harder state one achieves post meditative state of mind after withdrawal, concentration/contemplation.

However, what I experienced is little different. Separating every thought and experience as though they are unrelated to the rest of my life. That facilitates living in the present moment and helps me not use my previous thoughts and experiences to determine my actions for each new happening.

Example: A person who has been hostile to me for a prolonged period of time, suddenly changed into a fine human being and conducts himself well with me. In this situation, I need to suspect or second guess his action but I don't. I consider the past happenings as experience of someone else and accept his new overtures as new even if he was to ask a favor from me. This way of treating each experience independent lets me have a peace of mind and stay in the present moment always. It helps maintain purity of mind. Excessive thoughts are systematically eliminated.

Note: I am unable to do this always.

 

Trying to grasp the content. But our brain usually works on the basis of neuro association.
Whatever you said is entirely breaking the pattern and seems very difficult.Perception, previous impressions and experiences may be the hurdles on the way.But yours is a vast thought provoking one.
Thank you for your explanation

 

Speaking of brain working on the basis of neuro association, I have included the following words for the children (in moral teaching class) to connect to emphasize the oneness of people around us. The point is to inform them that inherent Chaitanya inside each one of us is the same similar to connecting words that could be found for the following words:


1. LOCK — PIANO

2. SHIP — CARD

3. TREE — CAR

4. SCHOOL — EYE

5. PILLOW — COURT

6. RIVER — MONEY

7. BED — PAPER

8. ARMY — WATER

9. TENNIS — NOISE

10. EGYPTIAN — MOTHER

11. SMOKER — PLUMBER

This game is to find out the common word that connects the two words given above. Let us find them all together.

Viswa