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Activities - How Do You Handle

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by Vedhavalli, Jun 20, 2019.

  1. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    Since summer started, I'm seeing many moms have taken up oath for as many as activity classes for kids.
    I'm seeing 5-7 classes kids participating, such moms are shaming others who's kids go to 1-2 classes.
    Recently I met a mom who's 11 yr goes go
    1) chess
    2) karate
    3) soccer
    4) language class
    5) key board
    6) classical music
    7) arts
    8) creative writing
    9) swimming
    10) Lego creative class.
    I really forgot one more class that he goes to .
    Isn't this horrible thing to a child? What he can learn what's will happen to his energy ?
    I wanted ask his mom, but that's not my business.
    That mom shamed mom's who's kids go to 1-2 classes. Saying world is competitive, others will loose in the future.
    Since I'm not good with polite but sharp words. I walked away.

    Everywhere from school to grocery shopping meetings Desi moms discuss on extra curricular activities...
    Is so many activities needed?
    IMO it's not needed 1-2 classes as per kid's interest and thier motivation to continue for prolong.

    How do you all handle these type of insane pressure...
    Most of the times I understand it's not my problem my child is happy. But they compare kids.
    How to reply them?
     
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  2. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    I want my kids to not be a part of the rat race but have enough feathers in their cap to stand out. I would rather have few activities but have them enjoy and excel at those.
    The key to healthy parenting in today’s day and age is to be aware of what other parents are doing but not let it influence you or child negatively. A secure parent and a secure confident child is what works best. Insecurity of any kind deserves no space in anyone’s head or heart.
     
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  3. Greenbay

    Greenbay Gold IL'ite

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    Isn’t your kid very young? If you are keeping her happy with whatever she does, do you need to worry about what that 11 year old kid does?
    Most parents know their kids’ capabilities and whether they can cope busy schedule. If they are putting them in more activities, it is probably to reduce screen time during school holidays.
     
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  4. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Platinum IL'ite

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    i have come across a lot of moms like that i stay away from them.

    I care more about my kids' happiness and their mental well being than they attending all class and try to be Jack of all trades. I would like them to be a master of one activity and that which they love doing.

    My elder one loves singing so he goes to singing class while my younger who is passionate about painting goes to Drawing and Painting class.

    And of the most when they are at home, I let them play silly games with each other, fight with each other, and strengthen the bond now than sending them to classes after classes and make them miss out on all the fun.

    The other day they came up with crazy ideas for hiding while playing hide and seek. My younger one who is more like a sugarcane wanted my help in making him sit inside the washing machine (semi automatic one) to hide :tonguecrazy: while my elder one searched the entire house for 10 minutes while making dire threats to the younger one to come out of his hiding hole ... it was fun to watch!! Btw...my kids are just 8 and 6.5 years young!

    Both my husband and I are of the opinion that having a memorable childhood is very important.
     
  5. Desiindian

    Desiindian Gold IL'ite

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    In my place too, few neighbours send their kids to many classes. The reason is the kids are either very naughty and mischeivous to handle or the parent wants more me time, not willing to spend more time with kids. For the working parent, it is better to put them in addional classes during holidays rather than keeping them idle in someones presence. But an educated mother trying to belittle others is very mean. Next time tell her, you love to spend time with kids, so restricting only to 1 o two classes.
     
  6. Sandyr46

    Sandyr46 Gold IL'ite

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    I would want my child to have a happy childhood, climb trees, play gully cricket, whatever makes him happy..
     
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  7. mangaii

    mangaii Finest Post Winner

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    I’m one of the moms who send the kids to lot of classes because my kid loves learning new things . Yes she is jack of all trades . If she is happy attending all the classes and I’m happy spending the money how does it matter . In fact she is so versatile and quick learner she was offered a helper job in the same place she attended the classes this summer. She is a amazing teacher .What does mental happiness has to do with kids learning ability ? I’m appalled at the judgement and generalizations in this thread . Just because kids are busy or work hard doesn’t mean there is lack of happiness. Personality and character building has nothing to do with kids attending multiple classes . In fact they learn so much from each other and it is good for lateral thinking . Please develop a open mind .
     
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  8. startinganew

    startinganew Gold IL'ite

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    I think if some parent has chosen to "shame" another parent, you won't be able to make them realize their mistake - no matter what meaningful retort you give them.

    I think their need to shame another parent comes from their insecurity in their choice - and to re-inforce to themselves that they are doing the best thing.

    I would say - just use these type of parents as your "window" of information to all the cool classes in town, the quality and name of specific teachers, how much their kid is enjoying each one, do they give homework ? do they have the time to practice at home what they teach?, etc. Ask a few questions to keep the conversation cordial for a few minutes and then walk away.
     
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  9. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    Ya there could be good info people
     
  10. Sandyr46

    Sandyr46 Gold IL'ite

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    Just ignore ! If ur child is interested or enjoys certain activities enrol him/her.

    Else just think about urself at ur kids age. How many activities were u enrolled in. If not much there lies ur answer. Ur parents allowed u to have a good childhood n u turned out right so rest assured ur kids will b too.

    Sumtymz parents hv unrealistic expectations from children and therefore they compare.
     

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