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Guilt Feeling And Negative Thoughts

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Happygirl6, Jun 6, 2019.

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  1. Jun 11, 2019 #21
    Happygirl6

    Happygirl6 Bronze IL'ite

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    I already scolded him many times over the phone before divorce itself ( While going through the hell torture). He always said its his mistake and he made me to suffer like this. He knows very well that he had done a grave mistake which can never be taken back. Even though he says its his mistake I cannot take it. One day after I shouted at him again he was saying " That guy told me that you are short tempered and I also know that you are short tempered. Because of your short temper only you faced this divorce". I couldnt take that any more and I broke the phone in my hand.I stopped talking to him. Even though I get angry i never throw away things. I am short tempered only some times when people continuously irritate me. I was very patient with that guy. He use to pull my hair and beat me. Sometimes I use to resist and sometimes i use to push him. He use to call me bitch for simple reasons .I dont know how can people keep quiet when there is a physical, emotional and verbal abuse.
     
    Happygirl6, Jun 11, 2019
    Happygirl6, Jun 11, 2019
    #21
    Sunshine04 and Rihana like this.
  2. Jun 11, 2019 #22
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    @Happygirl6
    It is over now.
    Your father is just trying to save face in front of you.
    Our elders find it very difficult to accept that they are wrong .

    Don't talk to him if it makes you feel better...or till you feel tou can be around him and not feel miserable.
     
    yellowmango, Jun 11, 2019
    yellowmango, Jun 11, 2019
    #22
    shravs3, Happygirl6 and Sri2196 like this.
  3. Jun 11, 2019 #23
    rachaputi

    rachaputi Platinum IL'ite

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    ...
     
    rachaputi, Jun 11, 2019
    rachaputi, Jun 11, 2019
    #23
  4. Jun 12, 2019 #24
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Your anger is understandable and so is his basic acceptance of wrong but again pointing to some alleged wrong in you. More than saying it is his mistake what can he do to appease you? He caught your feet to convince you to marry this guy, now he will not catch your feet to admit wrong. That is not how things work in Indian families.

    If there is no way he can help you right now, then, try to minimize his role in your life and mind, and try to slowly follow what nemesis wrote in his post, and give time a chance to be the healer and patcher.
     
    Rihana, Jun 12, 2019
    Rihana, Jun 12, 2019
    #24
  5. Jun 12, 2019 #25
    Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    @Happygirl6, I suspect you are feeling low and vulnerable because major decisions in your life were made by others and you had no say in your life thus far. That's in the past. Don't waste time looking back.

    You're 29, educated, financially independent and your life lies ahead of you. This time, you're in charge. Make the choices that feel right to you.

    Enjoying your work is a great blessing. And you are studying and improving your prospects while you are working. Stay on this path. They say success is the best revenge. And you are on your way. You are proving to yourself and the world that you can do well by yourself. You're making good decisions without anyone else's input.

    Who says you're going to be alone? Success and happiness are huge people magnets.

    This is true of everyone's life. We don't usually know of other people's struggles. But the truth is that everyone suffers stress in one form or another.

    @Happygirl6, I like the positivity in your name. I hope you regain that feeling soon. It may take time, but you'll get there if you stay the course.
    .​
     
    Amica, Jun 12, 2019
    Amica, Jun 12, 2019
    #25
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  6. Jun 16, 2019 #26
    Ramyarc

    Ramyarc Silver IL'ite

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    I like your attitude. Focus on what you like and rest will follow. All the best!!!
     
    Ramyarc, Jun 16, 2019
    Ramyarc, Jun 16, 2019
    #26
  7. Jun 18, 2019 #27
    lavani

    lavani Platinum IL'ite

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    look in marathahalli. i have a apartment. it is safe. IT hub. lot of young crowd, so no judgment.
     
    lavani, Jun 18, 2019
    lavani, Jun 18, 2019
    #27
  8. Jun 18, 2019 #28
    Sandyr46

    Sandyr46 Gold IL'ite

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    Tnx Iavani
     
    Sandyr46, Jun 18, 2019
    Sandyr46, Jun 18, 2019
    #28
  9. Jun 18, 2019 #29
    lavani

    lavani Platinum IL'ite

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    it is easy said that done. and i am very sorry this happened to you. but you need counselling, consistant and minimum for a year.

    you should not stop sleeping pills all of a sudden. you need a rehab kind of program. everything has to be gradual.

    if you are in usa, please plan to attend this seminars. along with counselling. i did . it is good.

    Home - Conscious Transformation

    you cannot change the past. you cannot live alone too. you need some friends or even roommates, to be with you. parents if they are not supportive can do more harm than benefit.
     
    lavani, Jun 18, 2019
    lavani, Jun 18, 2019
    #29
  10. Jun 29, 2019 #30
    aarzoo

    aarzoo New IL'ite

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    Please watch “Queen” movie. It is a Hindi movie but it will give you lot of self confidence I promise. It will inspire you to stand up from your situation.
     
    aarzoo, Jun 29, 2019
    aarzoo, Jun 29, 2019
    #30
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