From The Troubles And Misfortunes Of Others

It looks like there are three viewpoints in this discussion:

Camp A: This is a common and natural coping methodology. There is nothing wrong with it as long as you don't mean any harm to (or derive any form of pleasure) from the person facing the adversity.

Camp B: This is a common coping strategy. I use it but it makes me feel guilty.

Camp C: This is not a good coping strategy. There are other ways to handle the portion of adversity meted out to each of us.


I am in Camp B. The fact that I am disturbed for using this strategy is reason enough for me to ponder further or poke at it.

Yes, in different important aspects of my life: health, familial relations, work, personal fulfillment, etc - just because I am aware of someone else going through harder times (because of the nature of the issue or because of an IL like forum where we reveal our vulnerabilities a bit more easily), say I am able to rise up above the issue. But what happens if I hit rock bottom in one of these or a hard combination of these? What if my problem is truly one that is deeper and harder than anyone I know or anything i've heard of? Can I then rise up? Or will I throw up my hands and be too overwhelmed to overcome it ? Maybe when my challenges are smaller I should practice the rewiring of my thought processes - so that I am prepared with the right coping mechanisms for anything life could throw at me ?

Thanks to this thread, I hope to work to getting into Camp C.

 

Whoa, my friend! Proof by contradiction. This got me in. Excellent perspective to make us really think.

 

Dearest Rihana,

This post of yours hit a note in me. I was thinking, indeed I had been in the boat saying 'at least' and counting my blessings many times. Over the years, it has reduced a lot though still, I do at times. But, due to whatever I went through in my life, now whenever I experience a blissfulness/happiness/success I always surrender myself to God saying my pranams and then think what should I do to make another person happy or how should I help another one and implement that. In that way, I am trying to keep the balance.

Thank you so much for this thought-provoking post.
Vani

 

The ideal operating part in every individual is what you claim to do in your above quoted FB. I too am sailing I the same boat.
Thanks to OP @Rihana for this brain storming session.
Regards.
God has not created stress strain and ordeals which are essentially manmade or woman made.

 

I can always relate to your viewpoints. I'll feel a little spark in my head and you'd have gone on to articulate it and analyze it so well.

I thought so much before adding the link to Schadenfreude - as to there is no way @Rihana didn't think this was close. But it is different and that is why you kept it aside.