Positive Side

iyerviji · May 22, 2019

girvani said: ↑

Dearest Viji amma
This is so true and what you says is felt by me. Even on last Friday I suffered emotionally just making conclusion with available info but it might not be the right one. I just love the prayer you mentioned.

That’s it. If we keep this in our prayers we will be just fine. Thank you.
Vani
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Glad you also felt and you liked the prayer. Thanks dear

iyerviji · May 22, 2019

Agatha83 said: ↑

Dear Viji,

I was a passionate walker till last year, when a severe heel pain, put an end to my walking aspirations. When I wince in pain, The doctor smiles and tells me that these pains are part of growing old. Nowadays wearing a compression socks and shoes inside the house, I hardly step outside the house. However inspite of all the positive attitude, the recurring pain brings the fact that our body is ageing.

Agatha83
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True dear we can't stop our body from ageing

iyerviji · May 22, 2019

Viswamitra said: ↑

Dear Vijiakka,

I really enjoyed ready your thread. There is no limit to learning and we are growing everyday. It is the body that shows signs of age but the Atma inside of us is attributeless and formless. Thoughts drive our life and it comes from our encryption. Looking at things from other shoes is the best way to understand different perspective.

Everything in life happens for a good reason. I was watching the video talk given by a young student of Sathya Sai Baba and I am sharing it for you.

"All that happens is for my good alone" is the mantra in life.
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Glad you enjoyed my post. Thanks for sharing the Video. True all that happens is for good. If we understand that then we will be happy. Thanks for your lovely feedback

iyerviji · May 22, 2019

Novalis said: ↑

Dear iyerviji,

A line from your post aroused me, not because you solicited opinions on it, but the reconciled line was nostalgic of my own contemplation.

We all run into such situations often in life whether we ought to be that forthcoming person to pick the phone and call as two inelegant things haunt us:

shame

vulnerability

...along with the uncertainty of the other person being receptive to our gesture. (What if they snap the phone on us or unreceptive to our enthusiasm to connect with them?)

While growing up, the proverbial antidote for shame was "magnanimity". Empower your mind by interpreting that undertaking as magnanimity. What does magnanimity even mean? Another fanciful and zetabetical word on paper. (The other person knows of my desire to connect with them. It is shameful! They know my weakness in approaching them now.)

I had sought better self-explanations than magnanimity to mitigate this phenomenon. I found none. Till I happened to read about Brene Brown and her speeches on "The Power of Vulnerablility" and "Listening to Shame". I was galvanized the first time I heard her talk:

"How many of you think of vulnerability and weakness synonymously? The majority of people. Now let me ask you this question: This past week at TED, how many of you, when you saw vulnerability up here, thought it was pure courage? Vulnerability is not weakness. I define vulnerability as emotional risk, exposure, uncertainty. It fuels our daily lives."

I realized the interpretation was not astray. The endeavor surely is vulnerability (damn with the cheesy magnanimity!) But the attributes onto that vulnerability and shame were not weakness but necessity. It is necessary for that shame to exist in us because that recoil helps us to advance in life with emotional risk, exposure and uncertainty.

"There was only one variable that separated the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging and the people who really struggle for it. And that was, the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they’re worthy of love and belonging. That’s it. They believe they’re worthy. The other thing that they had in common was this: They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. They didn’t talk about vulnerability being comfortable, nor did they really talk about it being excruciating — as I had heard it earlier in the shame interviewing. They just talked about it being necessary. They talked about the willingness to say, “I love you” first, the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees, the willingness to breathe through waiting for the doctor to call after your mammogram. They’re willing to invest in a relationship that may or may not work out. They thought this was fundamental"

...and they also felt the unfussy necessity embedded in that "shame" and "vulnerability" to be forthcoming in calling up the other person amidst uncertain outcome. Yes, the other person might be unreceptive to your gesture but you have not deprived yourself of the opportunity and pride to expand on the capacity to reason with vulnerability unfazed of the consequences while making that awkward call.

"Can I be this fierce about this?” just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen, to say, “I’m just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I’m alive.”

It is okay to go and proactively talk to someone who has no exhaustive understanding (as you and I know now) of the vulnerability and shame couched in all of us which also insists that you feel alive because of it, for having made that call.
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Thanks dear for your detailed and lovely feedback and Brene Brown's speech. Glad to get your response.

iyerviji · May 22, 2019

Viswamitra said: ↑

@Novalis,

I really enjoyed reading your take and for sharing Brene Brown's speech. Vulnerability is a risk but if we don't take that risk, how will we get rewarded for our effort?

The probabilities are:

1) The person may snap at us
2) The person may decide to turn face and remain calm with no response
3) The person may positively respond to our approach
4) The person may negatively stare at us like we are an insect
5) The person may decide to make fun of us for our vulnerability.

If 1) above happens, there is nothing new we have encountered. If 2) happens, it is a sign of them thinking about their action. If 3) happens, we have achieved our goal, if 4) happens, we learn to ignore their stare as no words were exchanged, and if 5) happens, we go back and read Brene Brown's speech again and consider that as positive trait.
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I was thinking you will be the right person to give proper reply to @Novalis than me. Very apt reply. There is so much to learn from you. Though I have knowledge of some things I don't know to put in proper words. Like you my son is also very good in writing and has written poem and stories during school days. I used to buy book from Australia for him to write better. Though I am not good in writing but my elder daughter says all your knowledge you have given to your son. I told her he has more knowledge.than me.

Thyagarajan · May 23, 2019

Novalis said: ↑

Dear iyerviji,

A line from your post aroused me, not because you solicited opinions on it, but the reconciled line was nostalgic of my own contemplation.

We all run into such situations often in life whether we ought to be that forthcoming person to pick the phone and call as two inelegant things haunt us:

shame

vulnerability

...along with the uncertainty of the other person being receptive to our gesture. (What if they snap the phone on us or unreceptive to our enthusiasm to connect with them?)

While growing up, the proverbial antidote for shame was "magnanimity". Empower your mind by interpreting that undertaking as magnanimity. What does magnanimity even mean? Another fanciful and zetabetical word on paper. (The other person knows of my desire to connect with them. It is shameful! They know my weakness in approaching them now.)

I had sought better self-explanations than magnanimity to mitigate this phenomenon. I found none. Till I happened to read about Brene Brown and her speeches on "The Power of Vulnerablility" and "Listening to Shame". I was galvanized the first time I heard her talk:

"How many of you think of vulnerability and weakness synonymously? The majority of people. Now let me ask you this question: This past week at TED, how many of you, when you saw vulnerability up here, thought it was pure courage? Vulnerability is not weakness. I define vulnerability as emotional risk, exposure, uncertainty. It fuels our daily lives."

I realized the interpretation was not astray. The endeavor surely is vulnerability (damn with the cheesy magnanimity!) But the attributes onto that vulnerability and shame were not weakness but necessity. It is necessary for that shame to exist in us because that recoil helps us to advance in life with emotional risk, exposure and uncertainty.

"There was only one variable that separated the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging and the people who really struggle for it. And that was, the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they’re worthy of love and belonging. That’s it. They believe they’re worthy. The other thing that they had in common was this: They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. They didn’t talk about vulnerability being comfortable, nor did they really talk about it being excruciating — as I had heard it earlier in the shame interviewing. They just talked about it being necessary. They talked about the willingness to say, “I love you” first, the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees, the willingness to breathe through waiting for the doctor to call after your mammogram. They’re willing to invest in a relationship that may or may not work out. They thought this was fundamental"

...and they also felt the unfussy necessity embedded in that "shame" and "vulnerability" to be forthcoming in calling up the other person amidst uncertain outcome. Yes, the other person might be unreceptive to your gesture but you have not deprived yourself of the opportunity and pride to expand on the capacity to reason with vulnerability unfazed of the consequences while making that awkward call.

"Can I be this fierce about this?” just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen, to say, “I’m just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I’m alive.”

It is okay to go and proactively talk to someone who has no exhaustive understanding (as you and I know now) of the vulnerability and shame couched in all of us which also insists that you feel alive because of it, for having made that call.
Click to expand...

most all embracing indepth analysis of OP's quotes and views. I simply love and marvel. I wish I could write so in response.
Thanks and regards.
God bless.

Thyagarajan · May 23, 2019

iyerviji said: ↑

We don’t talk about trees getting older, we say they are growing. Let’s use the same language for ourselves. We are not getting older, we are growing. ~ Sue Fitzmaurice.

Always pray to have eyes that see the best in people, a heart that forgives the worst, a mind that forgets the bad, and a soul that never loses faith in God.

Success in relation is never depend on the size of ur brain ,It always depend on the size of your thoughts .

If you can see a positive side to everything, you’ll be able to live a much richer life than other.

I was thinking of getting old, about people etc. and in google I got these above quotes . Of late I feel I am getting older , as the above quote says I am growing and learning so much at this age and that too from the younger generation. An idle mind is a devil's workshop, which is so true. At times my mind thinks too much and I get wor That's why I try to keep myself busy so that there is no unnecessary thoughts in my mind which will make me feel sad.

My weakness is I come to conclusions very fast. Unless we step into others shoes we dont know their problems. Its very true that we should see the positive side of everything then we can be happy and peaceful. When someone does not talk to me I feel they are not the same , instead of waiting for them to come and talk I should go and talk to them. Sometimes it is better to be quiet , silence is golden.
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Concerned about growing old you happen to google for an answer resulting in selection of quoted quotes in your post and lead to realise that in order to overcome such concerns you had shared your enlightenment. Very thoughtful and nice of you sister. Thank you.

2. After retirement, whenever I applied for part time work, I mention my age as “58 years young”.

3. MIND HEART EYES SOUL - brain
When analysed with HEART, one develops MIND to forgive,
When EYES look no evil VISION turns always positive,
When BRAIN is small or big, as long as HEART & MIND
Functions synchronised SOUL remain In seat undisturbed
And that is perhaps secret of YOUNGISH longevity.

4.About arriving at CONCLUSIONS
Haste is waste, hasty decision or judgement leads to chaos,
Depending on urgency, emergency, vital, long term returns, possible repercussions & misunderstanding, prejudice, bias, pent up anger, hostility and so on involves in various decision making a prelude to conclusions.

5. In anecdote
Dad & I - An Introspection - Disciplined Approach
Brings home, the need to remain calm & composed during difficult situations and in your feedback you had appreciated the caution and care that were exercised.

6. When in dilemma need to contact bosom friends before to conclude before to take action is necessity. Silence is golden but at times when one fails to utter right word at the right moment in presence of right people lead to acrimony.

Regards.

God has put soul behind heart & brain and so soul could be oscillating.

iyerviji · May 26, 2019

Thyagarajan said: ↑

Concerned about growing old you happen to google for an answer resulting in selection of quoted quotes in your post and lead to realise that in order to overcome such concerns you had shared your enlightenment. Very thoughtful and nice of you sister. Thank you.

2. After retirement, whenever I applied for part time work, I mention my age as “58 years young”.

3. MIND HEART EYES SOUL - brain
When analysed with HEART, one develops MIND to forgive,
When EYES look no evil VISION turns always positive,
When BRAIN is small or big, as long as HEART & MIND
Functions synchronised SOUL remain In seat undisturbed
And that is perhaps secret of YOUNGISH longevity.

4.About arriving at CONCLUSIONS
Haste is waste, hasty decision or judgement leads to chaos,
Depending on urgency, emergency, vital, long term returns, possible repercussions & misunderstanding, prejudice, bias, pent up anger, hostility and so on involves in various decision making a prelude to conclusions.

5. In anecdote
Dad & I - An Introspection - Disciplined Approach
Brings home, the need to remain calm & composed during difficult situations and in your feedback you had appreciated the caution and care that were exercised.

6. When in dilemma need to contact bosom friends before to conclude before to take action is necessity. Silence is golden but at times when one fails to utter right word at the right moment in presence of right people lead to acrimony.

Regards.

God has put soul behind heart & brain and so soul could be oscillating.
Click to expand...

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