Need Your Advice On This

Op.....what is the use of coming from an educated rich family ,if the mother of this family keeps marrying her educated ,employed daughters to losers from her caste without verification ....just for the sake of society.

At least his mother let her daughter marry the man of her choice who keeps her happy.

Education is of no use if you don't use it and only do for the sake of society.

So please stop writing about the difference between families.
They are atleast looking at the interest of their own children ...unlike your family who cares more for society.

Regarding the violence.....it is totally disgusting .
Why are you still with him?You should have left him the first time he raised his hand.

You can use the evidence against him ...but think carefully about the recordings he has made of you.
Is there anything in those that can land you in jail .

He has been recording your angry outbursts for years now.There must have been some reason for that.

Check the local laws for that .Some countries have very strict laws. Be sure before you do anything because you have a child that needs to be looked after.

Why not sit with him and discuss the evidence both of you have?
Show him your pics,( save them somewhere first) .
See how he reacts .

Best would be for you both sit and work towards mutual divorce responsibly keeping your child in mind.

Best wishes op...
Hope things work out for you .

 

Being alive is more important than being married. You kid needs you more than anything else.

The problem is between you two. So you need to figure it out. What you want? You are educated, employed , financially independent and do you want to end up in more abuse like this. I cannot suggest anyone to live with an abuser. Its not good for you or your kid. Whatever may the reasons for your fight, if you don't want to be in this marriage, I think its better to talk to him and go for a mutual divorce. Even if you are separated you both can be good parents to your dd.

If you want to be in this marriage, as his family is not supportive of you, police case can elevate issues to next level. Also make sure what is in his records (is there anything serious against you). If you stay, you are teaching your dd, its good to tolerate physical abuse and suffer like this . Whatever may be the reason, he has no right to harm you.

Ideally in an abusive case like this, make an exit plan, collect all evidence (these photos, visits to doctor, counselor etc are evidence I think) , file police case and get out of the marriage are the steps. May be this case itself can force him for mutual divorce. But think really well, be practical, consult a lawyer, explore and then take decision. If he is not ready to talk, your lawyer can talk to him.

If I were in your position I will not stay with an abuser even for a minute, I will call 911 (in USA) and get him out of the house (yes its possible legally in this case) and from my life forever.

Where ever you are, that country will have help line numbers to assist victims of domestic violence. Explore it.

 

hello, i am very surprised with this post.

i am in no manner mocking you. but just google section 498a in india - false cases. you will get 100s of pages how men good men are put in jail for false reports. even innocents kids are put just because they were linked to the man side of the family.

and here you are just bearing violence over violence. and writing long paragraphs.

you are clearly smart enough to find Indusladies website, register and POST.

use the same IT knowledge to collect information and file police report and safe custody

what is stopping you from filing a FIR ( if you are in india) . leave the house and go to a safe place and do not stop till he and his family is punished and file for divorce.

what makes you think he will soften after some years.

and finally who are you worried about, neighbors , societly. you should only worry about yourself and your child and parents if any.

 

I would have called the police and filed a complaint. Period.
I respect myself and love myself first. Only after that I think of others. If you are bruised and battered inside and out then you cant really be there for anyone.
Dont be scared of what is going to happen to him, the law will take its course and do the needful. If he is deported then thats what he deserves. You are employed and still taking this abuse ? what does that say for women who are uneducated and unemployed.

Beating someone so badly its not acceptable at any cost.

 

OP...First of all why are staying is such an abusive marriage?
you are well educated ..just move out...you are independent and raise your daughter without any fear or anxiety ...

 

conventional is all good. wife does the cooking, house management , kids. husband does the money making.

but physical and mental abuse is not conventional. never will be.

nothing can change, unless you move on and take action to safeguard yourself.