Course Plan For Current And Potential Husbands

@poovai, I saw this old thread as a suggestion thread (you get suggestions while browsing on phone) and wanted to write my two cents on this.
I agree to your point that a lot of conversations on IL are unidimensional and blame the ILs for everything. I also wanted to share another point of view.

Financial independence is not just making your money, but also how to spend and how and where to save. I understand parents think they are being helpful when they do everything money related for their kids (filing taxes, making tax and other investments etc.), but how smart is it? Such kids have no idea what to do on their own. And financial planning (budgeting and investments) is very important. This is not something you can learn overnight - it takes time to understand the rewards versus risk curve and understand what your risk appetite is and what options are available on the market. If an adult of 18 cannot be entrusted with a credit card, imagine someone at 35. Some failures and lessons are better off coming earlier.

What happens when kids have to work this out on their own, much later in their life.That is a worst case scenario, so let’s not go there.

What happens when the DIL has a lifestyle and investment plan she has made/ wants to have - so now, instead of defending her investment philosophy with her husband and negotiate to see a mid-ground, she will have to do it with her in-laws (directly or indirectly -indirectly is even worse). That is not a great situation to be in.
Or worse, maybe DIL’s parents have huge role to play in her money matters/investments - in this case, it is the two sets of parents against one another.

I think the parents of 1970’s and 1980’s (I include my parents here as well) mean well and everything comes from a place of love and good intentions. But I think once kids start making their money, they should be encouraged to be independent. Of course, we would love for you to advise us or even help us out once in a while.

@poovai - I hope I have not offended you in any manner.

 

Just a observation, while most of the issues can be attributed to MILS' and DH, remember there are still a significant amount of families where DIL's rule and MIL's suffer too !! So, this course should be inclusive and balanced as well.