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Help. ! What Is My Husband Up To ?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by EagerForInfo, Mar 29, 2019.

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  1. Mar 30, 2019 #11
    peet1983

    peet1983 Silver IL'ite

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    Do he so many financial commitments? How good he is with you other than taking care of kid and physical relations? He won't speak to you at all.? he don't have any bonding with your kid?
     
    peet1983, Mar 30, 2019
    peet1983, Mar 30, 2019
    #11
  2. Mar 31, 2019 #12
    EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Gold IL'ite

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    Financial commitments. I don’t know??? Like I mentioned he doesn’t talk to me about pleasant things at all. No conversations at all. Just taunting about why this work is not done. Why stove is not clean. Why haven’t u cleaned the bathroom. Even when kids are sick not one question about how kids are or if I’ve eaten even when pregnant or sick. No questions about my job ( when working ) like what my work is who my fiends are etc etc.


    He is good with kids. But... he just ignores me. When it is garbage day he asks my daughter (7) to throw the trash can ( which is very big and almost as tall as her ) in the driveway ( instead of asking me to do it ). People in us know this. Even things kids cannot do like cutting things or heavy things which he should ask me to do he just skips me and tells the kids (7 year old )to do.

    He spends time with kids though with their homework teaching them things etc etc.
     
    EagerForInfo, Mar 31, 2019
    EagerForInfo, Mar 31, 2019
    #12
  3. Mar 31, 2019 #13
    EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Gold IL'ite

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    He is fine with everyone except me. In a way if I am not with him it is better as people won’t see the bad side of him. If I’m with him they can see his angry side and argumentative side. If I’m not there next to him he is known as a fun loving and fun person.
     
    EagerForInfo, Mar 31, 2019
    EagerForInfo, Mar 31, 2019
    #13
  4. Mar 31, 2019 #14
    Urmila

    Urmila Silver IL'ite

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    All ilites have give good advice. Just read them and think over. Make time to be with husband and discuss with him. Don’t try to point out much issues of past but try to put forth solutions as suggested by others.
     
    Urmila, Mar 31, 2019
    Urmila, Mar 31, 2019
    #14
  5. Apr 1, 2019 #15
    joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    @Laks09 , i second your remarks in toto. Ofcourse there are situations where inspite of best efforts on ones part, response from th spouse may not match or be forthcoming. However, concrete steps need to be taken and INTIME , if any true result is to be expected.
     
    joylokhi, Apr 1, 2019
    joylokhi, Apr 1, 2019
    #15
  6. Apr 1, 2019 #16
    DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    OP, From whatever you have written above, it appears to me like your dh almost checked out of this marriage. He is there for kids.

    If you really want this marriage to work,you need to introspect and see what is driving him away.Is it your negativity. Was it like this before. Your denial mode wont help you in anyway. I am not saying anyone at fault here. You are also doing a wonderful job of taking care of kids and home. The issues between you two happened due to combination of many events in your life. First step is to completely stop bringing past into your present. Start fresh. Instead of chasing him or questioning, or bringing other issues give space and take steps to bring positivity to your marriage. Try to find happiness yourself too. If you are not happy with you, you cannot make anyone else happy. Also go through replies from ladies and try to implement whatever you can. Once he see your effort and welcoming and positive attitude, he will also come your way. Good luck.

    There are many posts in IL. May be going through them also help ( see this one for example: Feeling Very Resentful...)
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2019
    DDream, Apr 1, 2019
    DDream, Apr 1, 2019
    #16
    joylokhi likes this.
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