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Dealing With Jealous Co-worker

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by curlytweethere, Mar 24, 2019.

  1. curlytweethere

    curlytweethere Platinum IL'ite

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    How do you deal with jealous co-workers? I have one who gets on my nerves. I try to ignore her but since we work in the same team I just have to deal with it. Did you have any jealous co-workers? How did you deal with them
     
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  2. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes. Sometimes.
    Like at current work place one colleague is jealous and he makes it obvious. I got promoted 2 years back and he wasn't happy at all. He was so rude to me, not willing to share any information at all regarding work . On the day our appraisal letters came everyone decided to party. Some got good numbers , some bad. In any case drink tho bantha hai,we decided to go. This fellow made a long face and did not come. Never mind !
    How can we deal?. Just ignore that's it.
    Last year he got promoted and I got bad number . We both were in the US that time. He said I'm happy let's party. I bindass went n enjoyed with him made him spend saying how he got better numbers than me. Dude could have done the same the previous year instead he chose a long face and made it obvious to everyone that he is insecure. .
    Showing jealousy is a sign of insecurity.
    We should have healthy competition at work place . Today it's me . Tomorrow it's you. Some don't understand this .
    So better ignore them.
     
    amalady, Vaikuntha, SGBV and 6 others like this.
  3. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    wow! you handled that guy really well.
    Right attitude:)
     
    Anusha2917 likes this.
  4. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    I once went to a job where it was all Indian ladies and where I was being trained by one of them.
    There were like 4 ladies..

    All were so dominating and downright rude!I was also very soft spoken and it worked to my disadvantage..

    Especially I was constantly asked why I am wearing new clothes everyday and where I shop and sarcastically how I waste money on outfits (?) and also things like why I am gymming when I am married (huh) etc etc..One of them even accused me of not keeping a bindi..(really?)
    It was horrible..literally they will gang up

    The lady was not interested to train me at all and constantly all of them went and started complaining about me to the manager...anything little I do..they will jump in and take credit

    The manager fired me without even allowing much explanations..I was also very new to the work place with the EAD..

    I was actually glad to be fired but would have been much more happier if I had quit by my own terms...


    Hate these jealous people and people who take credit for others work..

    In the words of vijay sethupathy (Tamil actor)..when someone takes credit or is jealous..

    "Edhukku peru enna theriyuma..ECHHA"..

    :)

    Sorry got little angry when I thought about those ladies..

    but anyways there are people like this everywhere!!!! like the above poster said..please ignore and focus more..
    and like I always say "will it matter an year from now?":)
     
  5. Hana2018

    Hana2018 Bronze IL'ite

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    Even I too faced similar kind of situation. It was my previous job. I heard lot politics & this x company is like a desi company. But still I joined only because it was closed to my home & pay was really good. Omg!! Problem started from day 1. There is no one to share details about work. For each and everything I had to ask 10 times, even after asking they never used share any details and during meetings they used to portray me as I don’t work at all. People always used take help from me and used to portray in front manager as they did and take credit. my bad luck Supervisor was Indian. She was like in favour of who praise her and always talk to her and share each and every personal details. There was 3 people gang. Always chit chatting about financial matters, kids, husband, family, who purchased what all nonsense things. Initially these people did not allowed me into their group ,even I am not a people’s person so I didn’t mind them. But later slowly they tried to be friendly with me , I thought ok fine I have to maintain a healthy work relationship and but when they started asking me my financial status, what my husband do, how much he earns, car swapping, why you don’t have kids do you or your husband have any health problems .I said directly I don’t like to share my personal things at my work place. I think I told them more than 5-6 times but still they tried to ask personal things. From then they shut the door to me. I felt people were less interested in work and more interested in others personal life. I always tried to keep low profile and stay from them. 1.5years It was hell. I quit that job. People thought I am mad to leaving that job. I waited for 4-5 months and finally I am in happy place where people value what you work.
     
  6. Hana2018

    Hana2018 Bronze IL'ite

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    What I feel is the less you share with your co workers about your personal life it’s good.
     
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  7. pocahontas

    pocahontas Gold IL'ite

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    I have been around toxic people at work too. I moved into a consulting role some two years back from a Corp finance role. A lot of my colleagues are developers and production support folks, on the org structure I am senior to them but there is no reporting hierarchy. I usually stay away because I cannot relate to most of them (this can also come across as snobbish I realize). But they are the only desi folks in the building I work in.
    There will usually be comments on what I wear,. I dress professionally and am sometimes suited for important meetings. This is a team (men and women included) that thinks this is wannabe. This is not so as my line of work is very different. Also, my eating habits are different - I am a vegetarian and I prefer a simple no frills lunch (sandwich usually) that I can have at my desk. This is another wannabe thing I do, seemingly. Mostly money comes up and properties people have bought. I do not divulge much information here and I am ridiculed again - see, what did you get by going to xxx college. We all end up doing the same thing. I do not really mind this and people say this in an insulting manner. Also this is again not the case - we have the same employer and the same client, but we vastly different things and get paid differently.Then my singledom will come up - I will either be deemed lucky or someone with too many expectations.

    And these people still wonder why I don’t spend a lot of my time with them. I am not sure about jealousy, but I think you cannot hope to relate to everyone you work with. They may come from vastly different backgrounds. You should just ignore what you can and take to HR or manager what is downright offensive.
     
  8. curlytweethere

    curlytweethere Platinum IL'ite

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    Mostly it is the Desi ladies at my work place who intrude too much. They are the ones who gossip and keep bitching about others feeling jealous
     
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  9. nolife

    nolife Silver IL'ite

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    I do not interact much with most of the team members or make friendships else they would keep asking abt marriage and stuff.
     
  10. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    It's really difficult..I too had bad experiences with bitchy co workers..it makes work environment toxic..best thing to do is to minimise interactions with such people, and keep relationship strictly professional.
     

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