100 Days of Positivity

Finally after some practise of car driving alone by self in early mornings,with some confidence took my daughter to her school to collect school notes and books,drove safely back home.Daughter was excited to travel with me driving the car.it was indeed a real happy moment for both of us.

 

The good side of being sick is being pampered and taken care of I guess. Esp the food... Idli, Dosa, Adai, Aviyal, Sambhar, Chutney, Light Meals... I just have to name it, comes garam garam and yummm too! Lol, that's sweet of him. I'm enjoying the warmth, no complaints.

 

I'm breaking my 30 day rule and posting here because I'm happy today. I grew up in a environment where I didn't had opportunity to take any risk. I had only one path to travel and this has some how trickled down my parenting. On the other hand my daughter wants to take gazillion risks. Her dreams are super big and according to my standards it is impossible to achieve. I think after I had my second child the relationship between my daughter and me are not the same. We get into arguments all the timr. There is conflict in the way we think. After going through a tough phase where we both were hard on each other I took a step back and started thinking from her perspective. I finally felt like I was seeing things in different perspective . I was scared of failure and that reflected in each and every action of mine and she was not. Over the weekend, I decided to finally implement somethings which I have been reading. I hugged her more during arguments. I let her go of some of her mistakes. We both decided to take a break from our internet world. We spent all the time talking/biking/walking. She invented some silly games and I played with her instead of telling her she is too old to do that. Many times she was sitting on my lap which felt really weird for me initially since I really thought she grew past that stage. Finally I got to enjoy her sense of humor. She is such a great rapper. Maybe I took this parenting too seriously because I'm always judged by both sets of family. I wanted her to be best kid. I wanted her to follow instructions to T. But I realized by doing this we both are moving farther away from each other. I don't care if she fails in everything she does but I will always be there to hold her back. This is the exact thing she wanted. Thank you Universe for showing that my kids don't have to be mirror image of me. Parenting is another part of my life and if my kids fail doesn't mean I failed as a mom.They have mind of their own and journey of their own. I'm ok if she turns out the way she wants. I'm happy today. I wish everyone in the universe is happy today. I want this happiness to be contagious and spread every where in universe. Hopefully I don't go back to my old style . Let Kindness and conscious living become my habit.

 

Back to the office routine. Finally the exams for my kid is completed. Both are happy.

 

The only outstanding positivity in my life these days is relearning mathematics. But the (popular) science books are so apologetic about introducing mathematics to a baffled audience to explain the enigma of the nature of reality. And the pure mathematics textbooks are so unhinged in their abstract notions: where is that equation even used in real life?

Hilbert's curve, Differential Calculus, Number Theory, Non-Euclidean Geometry are so hostile neighbors that they hardly talk to each other in continuous exposition. How is this used with that over this on that? I could never grasp the implication of mathematics in physical universe. They say, the language of the universe is mathematics but the syntax and grammar is so abstruse to me. Why is 2+4 = 6? But why?

I just wanted just one messianic book, just one proper book which could explain intuitively -- what the heck is the mathematical reality of nature?

In the library, I walked by "The Road to Reality" by Roger Penrose. I had known the book for several years now. Even mustered to borrow it duly once and returned the next day.



I ventured into the book again today, just playfully, just to assert that I still don't have a mathematical brain in me and no responsible scientist has taken upon himself to teach mathematics to idiots like me.

In the prologue, Penrose wrote a short story about Am-tep and his descendant Amphos leading to Pythogoras.

I like stories.

I continued reading ...

I read the first 100 pages.

No scholar has ever explained 'why mathematics' 'in physics' the way Penrose did. Most just insinuate mathematics into physics but never enforce it. Penrose was not at all apologetic of hitting with a mathematical hammer over the right nails in your body. The questions you always pondered, Penrose smiles at you ..I know you are thinking why 2+4 is 6 and this is the reason why 2 +4 is not 8 but if had been 10 then how the universe would look like.

No academician has ever explained the divergent and convergent power series like the way he did in its weirdness in the book.

He knows why people like me HATE mathematics.

He insists that is because you idiots were not taught mathematics properly, the methodology to link the mathematical ideals to realistic observations.

He despairs because no one ever told you the inducement for negative integers. Well look at quarks, how the 2/3, 2/3, -1/3 add up in observational world. Six cows minus three cows? Stupid example! What does a negative cow even mean? But then a negative charge on a quark ...the anti particle ..and what if it is negative mass like the virtual particle. The Egyptians (integers) and Greeks (real numbers) and Italians (complex/lateral numbers) just propositioned the existence of these mathematical foundations having never realized how intricately these mental constructs are weaved into the fabric of physical reality.

No one ever so mindfully entangled mathematics with physics.

I shall continue reading the book. I am more than ever determined now to utilize this holiday for a keen purpose. I shalt learn mathematics. Genius isn't the one who unlocks the truth but also knows how to perpetuate that truth with a child-like and unsophisticated technique. Roger Penrose is an exceptional genius in that regard!

 

An ordinary day ended with gratitude.

 

Day 5 : Today have climbed the stairs and visited mom's place. It was a surprise for her as she was not expecting me due to the injury. She was very happy to see me back to pick up my kid. I could see the sparkles in her eyes. I am realizing that such small things are the ones which is needed to bring a smile on our near and dear ones face.

 

After much confusion and rigour disciplining Siri to launch ‘Duniya’ song on YouTube without the intervention of ‘Daniel’ and ‘Denis’, we both finally made peace at ‘Doni’. Now each time I call out for duniyaa, it stubbornly and happily prompts a random song from doni. Work to negotiate with Siri is in progress yet promising.

Update: Finally cracked it. Siri has been taught to recognize duniyaa or dunia in its babble-speak. I am proud of my Siri. By the end of this month, will recognize even Kishore Kumar's yodeling by me and bring up the relevant song. Yipsy!

 

Day 175 : I went to work with a mission . Kept saying myself no matter what I'm going to finish this today. Did I succeed? Yes I did.. What a nice feeling!
Day 176 : Had a long discussion with my mom regarding an issue which she is facing at her workplace.
She thinks she can manage (I know she's an independent lady who can handle more than we daughters think) but our help and guidance is needed at this point of time and I'm glad she's discussing with us so that we can find a solution and help her.

 

Day2: DH is very much worried about me driving the car . It’s kinda romantic to learn from him. At the same time he shouts at me sometimes when I make a mistake.
Lol he is ensuring me I don’t even cross 5mph tat too in a parking lot
But morning I was annoyed since my driving instructor was annoyed of my driving skills. I seriously don’t get one thing, if at all I knew how to drive a car why would I goto a driving school
I think these instructors should first have some patience
Though I have Indian 4 wheeler DL it is just for name sake