Self Improvement- Over Coming The Weakness

Discussion in 'Education & Personal Growth' started by Paripoorna, Mar 16, 2019.

  1. Paripoorna

    Paripoorna Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    115
    Likes Received:
    499
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    I have this bad habit of giving sharp comments and jumping to conclusions while having conversations with people. Until recently i was under the impression that people around me are bad which includes my close freinds who would not voluntarily give a call and talk. I am realizing how wrong i am!
    I never realized the harm it is doing and has already done to me.
    I have been like that without realizing the impact and walking around mentioning that i call a spade a spade and i am like this only which is not the truth.

    Is there a way to get out of this habit and start having healthy conversations with people?
     
    Loading...

  2. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,921
    Likes Received:
    9,220
    Trophy Points:
    460
    Gender:
    Female
    @Paripoorna,

    I have given many suggestions in your other post, they help in this area too. Negative Thinking

    You may be aware that while growing up actor Hrithik Roshan had a stuttering problem and he overcame that with a lot of effort. Today I read that even now he rehearses his conversations and speech before saying it out in front of others. In the same way, rehearse your comments and criticisms a few times by writing them down on a paper and speaking them in front of a mirror; this should give good clarity to you. Practice makes you perfect. You may try to mould your speech by copying someone you idolise. This is another way of learning to use the appropriate expressions. Always smile before you utter anything; nothing negative can come out of a smiling face!:grinning:
     
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2019
    periamma and Paripoorna like this.
  3. drsumitasofat

    drsumitasofat New IL'ite

    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Try to understand the situation of the person.
     
  4. Paripoorna

    Paripoorna Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    115
    Likes Received:
    499
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    @GeetaKashyap ,

    But how do i work on the day to day conversations? Wont that be spontaneous? Its like my inherent habit which i am finding tough to change.
    How do i practice it?
     
    anika987 and GeetaKashyap like this.
  5. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,921
    Likes Received:
    9,220
    Trophy Points:
    460
    Gender:
    Female
    Initially you have to do some homework, then think and speak. Since you get conscious in that process you may feel a bit tongue tied and unnatural in the beginning but within a couple of days, you will see improvement.
     
    anika987 and Paripoorna like this.
  6. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    6,211
    Likes Received:
    13,034
    Trophy Points:
    445
    Gender:
    Female
    Can you think of why you are snappy with people? What triggers the quick judgement? It could be something simple like being physically tired and not having the patience to handle irritations, or it could be a deeper insecurity that you are projecting on to their words. Some examples would help us better understand what is going on here.
     
    anika987, GeetaKashyap and kaniths like this.
  7. Paripoorna

    Paripoorna Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    115
    Likes Received:
    499
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    @Gauri03,

    Its a inherent nature which i want to change it.
    To give you an example..

    Conversation between me and my manager.
    After the discussion with the board ,
    He would come and have a quick chat and give the synopsis. As the conversation proceeds.
    Manager: Next two years we shall ensure that we achieve the numbers. The board is very happy with the plan. (He has this conversation with lot of enthu)
    My reaction: Sir, Havent we been saying this from so many years? (Immediate reaction).
    Manager: i know ma we have not acheieved the numbers( sad face).

    So here i have not understood the enthusiam and rather commented in such a way that he loses his interest in sharing any futher info around the this discussion.
     
  8. senorita2019

    senorita2019 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    403
    Likes Received:
    732
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    I am like that but now made a conscious change. I add humor to my sharp comments so it passes off as a joke. Instead of giving serious comments
     
    Paripoorna likes this.
  9. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    545
    Likes Received:
    664
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    If it's anything negative, pause before you say it, if possible don't even state it. If you have to state it, then say it in a manner where it sounds positive.
     
    Paripoorna and anika987 like this.
  10. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,969
    Likes Received:
    20,846
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Female
    Firstly,happy to know that you have realized your mistake which is a good start.

    Too many people never admit their mistakes but you did and certainly that’s commendable.

    Now,yes calling a spade a spade or giving opinions strongly is one thing but there is always a way to say it.

    The word is “Diplomacy”.that’s it.

    It is a very powerful way of telling things the right way and making others listen.You would have also made your point but less hurtful.

    We are all humans and if someone treats us the same way we treat them..it hurts.So use diplomacy as your strength,be the person that you are but put forth your points in a rightful manner.Also,sometimes it’s ok to be quiet even if we are right at times as certain arguments when not fruitful needs no opinions.
     
    Paripoorna likes this.

Share This Page