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Transition

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Viswamitra, Dec 2, 2018.

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  1. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    I understand it is your personal opinion. What I don't understand is your thought that the Hospice is there to help only and if the patient feels like being with the family, they have a right to leave without telling anyone in the facility. Unless the Hospice has wearable device to monitor the patient, it is impossible to watch them 24/7. There are only 3 or 4 nurses and they work more than 8 hours. The volunteers work up to 8 p.m. and sometimes up to 10 p.m.
     
  2. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Just a clarification for the benefit of everyone. I will be posting my future experiences as requested by a few members. It is about sharing spiritual experience one feels through this kind of services as part of giving to the community. This type of services can be provided in Assisted Living Facilities, hospitals, private homes, etc. In my view, helping underprivileged, aged population and those who are sick irrespective of the age is a noble cause and it can be provided anywhere the individual is comfortable whether it is at their own residence or elsewhere. The focus is not the organization or how and why it is run but what as an individual, I gain from such services.
     
  3. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    @Viswamitra
    Congratulations for the blog being nominated among the best of December 18 blogs.
    2. I read in one go your blog and FBs as well. Eyes welled up as I finished upto #42.
    3. I contemplated Of the days during end of festival
    Holidays in end sep 2011 when my mom after successful surgical operation with implanted ball socket on her left below hip was admitted into to a nearby senior citizen home where many terminally ill too were admitted.
    With a view to easy monitoring And replacing dressing daily by a deputed nurse from the hospital doctors advised to keep her close to hospital as he felt continuing in the vicinity of hospital might hinder her speed recovery a dhealing of the wound.

    4. The K Illam where she was admitted for recovery and recuperation, I had come across strange experiences. A lady in the bed next to my mom was in her 80s getting state government pension was all of smile when she saw me feeding my mom. We became friendly when she said her three children and her husband I’ll treated and deserted her and so she had come to the illam some three years back and all her pension is donated to the illam. The illam was bit unkempt and I saw few spiders and their webs. It was evening. I went out in search of cobweb clearing tool and found a long bamboo stick
    . I brought it in and about to clear the cobweb that was precariously hanging and swinging over her bed.
    The old lady was asleep. My mother too.
    Without opening eyelids, my mom mumbled something and I glued my ear close to her mouth. She meant to say - Meenakshi -Kamakshi there don’t clear the web. Don’t disturb them. I was non plussed. Meenakshi was name of my mother’s mother. Kamakshi was name of my father’s mother. This means she was seeing my grand mother’s. I returned home and in the morning Round 6 the illam supervisor informed that my mother expired.
    Strange are the ways of apparition/god.
    Thanks and Regards.
     
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  4. AngelsGift

    AngelsGift Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you for volunteering. My mother was recently in hospice a few years ago. I will never forget the day we moved her there. I got there about half an hour after she was transported, and it was just her and I for a few hours. She had not been lucid before and being off the pain medications for just a little bit she was, and we got to talk before they hooked her back up to them again. We talked about many things, about my childhood, and she even laughed at something funny. I will remember those precious hours for the rest of my life. Thank you for being there for people like my mother.
     
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  5. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sri Thyagarajan:

    Thank you for sharing your invaluable experience of handling the transition period of your beloved mother. I came to know from my training program that it is very common for those who are transitioning to experience interaction with dead people while they are still alive. Your mother must be a very blessed soul to be received both by her mother and your father's mother together.

    Not very many people get an opportunity to be with the mother during transition especially those who live overseas. I missed to be with my mother during her transition but fulfilled the promise to be there with her before the funeral rites were performed.

    Viswa
     
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  6. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @AngelsGift,

    You are most welcome. It is such a great pleasure to be of help to the elders who need such service. Most of the time, the Hospice do only pain management and leave the decision to the patient and the family. Not very many have the appetite to eat either. They rarely ask for help and when they do, they are very thankful. Most of the time, they need company when they are in the process of transitioning and the Hospice medical team, if they determine that they are in the process, request a volunteer to be near without much noise. If the patient prefers, the volunteer can hold the palm of the patient to make them understand that they are not alone. The spiritual service soon after or during the transition is very soothing. They do have a prayer room for the family to assemble together and pray for about to depart or departed soul.

    We are all trained to be nice to the visitors as they are very stressed out especially when their near and dear are going through terminal illness. A lot of coffee, tea, cookies, etc. are neatly arranged in the kitchen in each wing for them to eat, if they like. There are separate rooms for the families to make phone calls or talk to other relatives.

    Last week, I just spread a white towel around a patient so that nothing will get spilled while she was eating and her smile and thank you sign are still in my memories. From this week, I have decided to volunteer every Saturday instead of Friday from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. Dedicating 3 hours in a week is not a lot but very satisfying.

    Viswa
     
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2018
  7. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you for wonderful response to my FB.
    Regards.
     
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  8. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    I wish to add more to my previous fb.
    Certain passages in your above response to @AngelsGift 's wonderful heartfelt fb have reminded last moments my family & i had with my dad which I had narrated in my blog
    Spouse & I With Dad - A Surgical Operation
    Thanks and regards.
     
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  9. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sri Thyagarajan:

    Even though I was unlucky not to be near my mother during her transition, I had the greatest blessing of spending 11 months with my dad when he was ailing from chronic renal failure. Those moments I spent with him were precious and etched in my memories. He was a worshiper of Lord Ganesha and he did abhishegam everyday to the Ganesh Idol at home. Then, sharp at 8:30 a.m., he would visit the nearest Ganesh Temple everyday. When he died at 4:20 a.m. in the morning, my brother, myself and my mother were all right next to him. When we looked at our calendar, it was Ganesh Chathurthi. Our eyes filled with tears, we managed to perform all his final rituals and considered his passing away on Ganesh Chathurthi as acceptance His beloved Lord into His fold.

    Viswa
     
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  10. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear all:

    Another 3 hours spent yesterday in the Hospice from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. The chart showed 5 of the patients passed away in the 24 hours preceding my duty time. I sat silently for good 5 minutes praying for those souls to rest in peace. One family came to the prayer hall and took the help of the Chaplain to heal. It was a very soothing reading of some of the Gospels and meaning of those wonderful words of wisdom. I had the company two new volunteers today as I shifted from Friday to Saturday evening. One of them has been volunteering for the past 4 years since her husband passed away in the very same care center.

    With an exception of one patient who suffered from massive heart failure, the rest were admitted for Level 4 cancer in one of the organs. One patient passed away just before the duty ended and all of the volunteers paid our respect to the departed soul through our own respective prayers. Out of three volunteers, one was Jewish, one was a Hindu (me) and another was a Christian.

    Patient in Room #1 got our attention as he was given a few hours to live but was still talking coherently. But he has been resisting the departure for 2-3 days and one of his brothers visited him last night while another is expected today. Because he stopped eating solid food for a while due to loss of appetite, he became very thin but his energy level and enthusiasm ignoring his pain and suffering showed his courage and determination to handle his inevitable departure.

    I learned an important lesson from the nurses on duty. Despite working for 12 hours, they provided unparalleled patient care with a smile on their face. Patients' families were also visiting a lot last night.

    As usual, I cleaned up the Coffee and Cookie stations located in each wing to make it convenient for the families to access whatever they would like to drink or eat.

    Viswa
     
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