How To Raise 4 Yr Old ..do Not Know Anymore

This is a phase which many moms go through..

I faced this from 3 to 5 and half years..It was crazy and too many fights with DH..

Now at 6..it is so much more manageable and things are getting easier.

It is stressful.Trust me it WILL get better soon.Hang in there,try to get some
Help with regards to food etc..Do as much as you can and don’t force it.You don’t need to be a super mom.Just do what is right for you and keep calm.

This too shall pass

 

every age different issues. my 13 year old , sleeping at night 11 pm telling she is having lot of homework. now a days everything is chrome book, it was hard me to follow what she is doing. i had to sit with her whole time for a week and guide to plan her time well.

7 year , is smart and finishes homework in 10 mins. then he breaks the whole house because he is bored.

just be consistent and your H should be also in the same page as you.

 

@sanjuruby3
First of all congrats for your second one.
Since by DS is also of same age, I can relate to what you are going through. "NO" is the first word that come out of their mouth. One thing I that helped me is letting him know the the consequences of saying "NO". And they also test the limits.

For eg: If he says NO to breakfast, i let him go hungry to school. I know it hurts, but until he relies that he has to eat they will not eat. One day he did not eat till 3:00pm since we did not buy him donuts that he requested for. Finally at 3:00 he ate lunch.

School work: See what they enjoy to do, if like some activity let them do it. Take them into confidence and then start working from there.

Strict No No TV, I saw a lot of improvement in my DS after stopping that idiot box. Now we have media room that he watches on Weekend for 30 min. It was tough initially but took a lot of effort from me and DH to implement it.
If does any bad behavior then no movie that weekend and we stick to it.

If ur DD likes stickers use that for encouragement, follow aroutine & stick to it.

Hope these tips help you.

 

i like your consistency very much. but please be less strict while on eating, they are young. it can have long term side effects like ulcers.

other than that i have no right to comment on your parenting skills.

 

Lol this happens, sometimes I feel my daughter is my mil or grandmother.
Only commands come from her mouth.
It's really hard I feel till 2 yrs it was better.
After they Know outer world it's really tough esp iPad ,TV , this wifi.
My 4.5 yr old searches, - Alexa search for internet, if I disable net in iPad. Finally I did switch off WiFi router.
They know everything. Hard to control.

1) I allow 30 min tv everyday - she doesn't eat without it (yet to push)
2) daily reading 10 min - start with Bob books, alpha phonics primer.
3) writing is hard
4) buy magnetic alphabets - ask her to do small 3 letter world building.
5) for clean up, stay put never clean unless she picks up. My kiddo clean freak 3 days went by .she asked if I can help to clean up. Later she started herself.
Keep telling her, if you lost any small toy or parts don't ask me.

Your doing good. I'm seeing lots of kid in 3-5 are same. Make sure she eats one proper meal.
Cut down screen time, also watch if she watches good thought provoking cartoons/ shows. Educational.... Wise. Keep 30 min child lock. No TV iPad in mornings.

 

@lavani
Thanks for your concern . Yes I am aware of that, Not eating till 3:00 happened only once (He has apple sauce & yogurt in between, but no proper meal). He was testing and i was tired to his tantrum. Force feeding doesn't help him, he is a self eater since 18 months. Going hungry to schools mean he will not have proper breakfast, but will have some snack type & juice, he also gets snack at 9:30 in school. And he makes it up with lunch & dinner.

Coming to being strict, yes i am when it is food or behavior. I am lenient during his studies & play time. Its trade off and I try to balance it. I do give him rewards when he does good jobs, if he is honest i explaining him. No shouting or punishment when he is honest.

 

. as long as the child is eating something healthy . it works.

 

I can understand what you are going through. Here are few tips & suggestions that worked for me & my friends.

My DS used to do this. I pack those snacks to his school and tell him its for schools not at home. As soon as we reach home i give him fresh juice (Apple & other fruits or veggie mixed & I give fancy names like pink juice (add pomegranates) , green juice (add kiwi etc ) . In the morning I put rice rice in instant pot with delay start so that by the I go home I have rice ready. Even if any curry is not there i can give him yogurt or lemon rice with in 10-15 min instead of junk. If ur DD likes rotis you can keep in fridge and heat them and give it.

Encourage them to play instead of TV. I agree it tough but once they get used to it super simple. For DS brushing, shower and dress up are part of play we have in the morning, you can ask to DH to come with ideas for play. This encourages them to fall in routine. Play its "my turn now ur turn. "

At this age they will try to be independent, encourage her to do instead of u forcing, this might help.
At this age they have simple fun let them do.

Try to be friend to her, instead of getting irritated or angry, there will be lot difference. Begin like a friend and doing funny things along with them helps a alot. We have to go into their path to steer them out of it.
If her watching TV at 10 is a problem. Sit with ur DH & DD and watch for 30 min and then slowly talk her to go bed time & can watch next day or so.