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Longing

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by BhumiBabe, Nov 16, 2018.

  1. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Platinum IL'ite

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    Longing

    Together we ignited
    A fire so warm and bright
    Drawing me so close
    I’d rather burn than be without

    A little bit closer
    I could have felt your heart
    I drew a line unconsciously
    So I wouldn’t cry when we inevitably part

    I swear I know you,
    from a dream or lifetime before
    Or maybe we both reflected
    A person we could love more

    It doesn’t matter
    This distance, our present nor our past
    We make it up with longing
    The heart knows how to make it last
     
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  2. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    You are a good poet. Just asking, do you feel distant right now? Why present a tough exterior when you have so much in your heart?
     
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  3. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you for the compliment.

    It's risky to expose my heart. I'm not accustomed to it, so putting it in poetry helps.
     
  4. goldenhoney87

    goldenhoney87 Silver IL'ite

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    Beautifully written
     
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  5. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Simple words, feelings of the heart from the heart, the faithful heart, the gently fierce heart that knows it should pace itself and not burn out. Nicely done, BB. The fourth line of each stanza stays in the mind after the stanza and poem is read. Those four lines by themselves could be another stanza or poem starter.

    All your poems make reader pause and think, reflect, and think slow thoughts that don't register beyond what the heart wants to recognize, yet they are there in their full impact. But this poem in particular... there is something about it. It's like walking out of a library or having watched a really good movie. That quiet and peace that fills the mind as we walk out.. The poignancy in the poem is deftly and delicately handled. Not an ounce too much.
     
  6. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Platinum IL'ite

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    Wow, thank you for your highly regards. I'm honored that you feel this way about my poems.
     
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