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Relationship Hijack And Banter

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rihana, Sep 17, 2018.

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  1. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    You have a point. The situation is not so bad as a man "abandoning" the pregnant to-be-mother of his child.

    But, what if we remove the pregnant woman and ob-gyn visit from the description. A person goes out, gets locked out of car, or loses wallet, or forgot to take wallet and got pulled over (can drive home only if someone fetches person's drivering license) or some emergency happens. Person calls spouse. Shouldn't spouse drop what he/she is doing and go to help? Watching something on TV counts as "can be dropped to go to help spouse."
     
  2. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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  3. YoGirl

    YoGirl Gold IL'ite

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    Can and should pick up the spouse ideally.. i agree. Abandoning a loved one when in need is bad!
    The issue goes to a whole new level when ‘pregnant’ woman and ‘Dr visit’ are attached.

    What caught my attention is saying ‘Have no money’ to take bus.
     
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  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Good for you.

    I guess the wife's taste for her mother's cooking that she grew up with and made an effort to learn is irrelevant .
    The important point in the thread is that the wife wants to cook things her way....the way she learnt and wishes to make.

    I guess acknowledging anything from her past family or her taste is too much effort for the ' mighty son'.

    What kind of an adult cannot make effort to aquire a new taste for a person's cooking ....a person who is going to be his life partner.

    This is not just about love of the wife for a husband...it is also about lack of sensitivity for the wife's presence in ' their ' life.

    This is just another excuse to ignore the girl's side of the family after marriage.
    Her taste,her customs ,her name ,her family....change everything .

    I learnt to make my future husband's favorite dishes from my mother. He loves them too.

    He taught me how to make some of his mom's dishes her way.Over the year I learnt some dishes from her too.
    I love them too.

    My kids are lucky to have food that tastes like dadi and nani' s cooking along with some maa ka twist to it.
    It is definetely worth the fuss.

    Good for me and my foodie family.
     
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  5. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    As we learn more and more about the varieties of ways in which a woman can be subjugated, no wonder that some settle for monsters that won't come and pickup a wife from her doctor's office because of a conflict with a TV sports broadcast.

    The girls who learn about that kind of monstrosity can easily forgive a husband who merely complains that her subji is such a horrid thing compared to what he had eaten when he was a lad and his mummy served him.

    If I am the sort given to believing conspiracy theories, I'd think that the narratives of horrid treatments of married women at the hands of husbands and in-laws are coming out of a troll farm. A male-plot to get the normal, garden-variety wife happy in her mild-to-moderately abused daily life. :facepalm::facepalm:

    George Carlin: " Life is Tough, and then You Die".
     
  6. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Separate living places for mother and wife should be the number one vaastu tip.:)
    Will bring peace and shanti to the home.
    Much more important than the direction of the sun or any other tip.
     
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  7. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Can people guess from the responses in relationship forum if the poster is a parent of girls only, boys only and girl boy both?:)
    Ym....definetely girls only.
    Topaz....boys
    Troubled mom....boys
    Poovai ...boys
    Shanvi...both( this one I know...so a bit of cheating )
    Rihana.... Both ( again cheating)
    JAG..boys
    Ragini...boys
    Lak...both
    Rakhii....both ( cheating again)
    Amulet....a huge mystery

    The responses of people with children of both sexes seem more measured and balanced ( to me )
    While responses of people with only one sex are more coloured by the sex of the child .( Again...this is my personal view and open to diagreement.)

    One exception is Vishwa sir. His views are very balanced ,not coloured by gender of anyone.
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2018
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  8. troubledmom

    troubledmom Gold IL'ite

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    Dislike.

    That was a low blow and not fair at all, mrs @Mango
    It doesn’t even make sense. What does the gender of my kids have to do with anything?

    I responded as a woman and a dil, not as a mother of boys. So really? if your mil swept 3/5ths of the house you will (as a balanced mother of girls) demand that she finish the job and do your room too before she takes your kid to the park? Ok good to know that this is what you support as your ‘balanced’ reaction. I don’t and never will.
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2018
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  9. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    @troubledmom
    Just an observation.
    Don't get offended.
    I won't know about balanced reaction as I am not the most balanced poster. My posts are definetely coloured .

    In a long thread...what point the poster chooses to repond to is often an indicator .

    I must confessed my guess about you was a wild one based on just that one post. But that one post was so damning and one sided that I thought about writing this in banter thread.

    Other posters chose to provide a solution for such incidences instead of calling for family panchayat and putting another death knell into the already fragile relationship of the couple .The op...did ask for solutions to better relations.

    I do stand by my post that what posters post is often colored by their life. There are other parameters too..
    Like how their relationships are ...experiences with family members are..so I can be wrong about the post in that regard.

    I don't see why you felt so offended .It is not an accusation....just an observation that is open to other views.

    Not meant to offend .I apologize if that offended you .

    P.s. mango seems to be another poster.
    Will be wondering why she / he is getting a tagged dislike.
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2018
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  10. troubledmom

    troubledmom Gold IL'ite

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    What was damning and one sided? I agreed with a poster. I felt what she said is correct. Yes it was the minority opinion but just for that it became one sided is it? And then to say it is because of the gender of my kids???!!! that was too way out there unless you already knew poovai was mom of boys and correlated but even then really how is it relevant pls let me know how does it matter? Or even why? That’s kind of why I felt offended honestly speaking

    And please don’t psycho analyze me no such experiences in my life. What I have seen though is that I and people get caught up in ivory tower kind of liberalism what I call first world concerns. But when I go to India it is like a dash of cold water there is this attitude kind of hard to explain where of you are too understanding or show flexibility it is interpreted as weakness and an opportunity to take advantage. Now don’t say it’s not true it definitely exists. I felt this guy Krishna was in that kind of trap vis-à-vis his wife’s family
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2018
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