Help For A Troubled Married Life. For A Man Who Loves His Family In Toto.

@KrishnaSri,

If your DW and MIL are thinking of filing a false DV case on you, you are past the stage of fixing this marriage. Speak to a lawyer and protect yourself.

If the DV case is just something you suspect they might try, seek couples counseling. Work on your relationship with your DW before you try to fix anything else. The relationship between your wife and mother is irrelevant if you can't trust your DW.

In either event, stop tapping her phone. You are most likely committing a crime. If you feel compelled to invade her privacy, you have no marriage to save. This is not a good life for either of you.

There is no excuse for child abuse. This is the evidence you should record. Your DW needs therapy urgently. If she refuses to seek help, get a divorce on grounds of child abuse and get full custody of your child.

Hiring an army of maids and cooks will not help your family. Save your money for an attorney or a counselor.

.​

 

Early in my marriage, I realized that my husband relished his mother’s cooking. It took me a while, but I realized that it has nothing to do with the food being tasty, it has to do with a particular taste that he grew up with. Due to my sheer love for my DH, I cooked with my MIL and learnt to cook her way. I do not understand all the fuss about this.

 

I am really appalled by this response. It looks the poster of this response is not aware of the damage done to brain during early childhood years. I can write a lot in reply to this poster but OP I would only say please do not follow this reply and people should refrain from giving such horrible advise to anyone in both real and virtual world.

 

This is child abuse. The poor kid is suffering.

 

I was there long ago. The responses have included references to class specific expected behavior ( shunning widows and divorcees), hereditary family abandoning traits, recommendations of male heir and now this.

 

I was really horrified by reading that reply. Does this poster think that child is a toy? mum is already taking her frustration on the poor little one instead of suggesting op to act right this poster is suggesting op to bribe his own offspring to know the home politics. I believe if we can not contribute positively to something atleast do not give such absurd suggestions.

 

OP your wife is not mentally ill. Nobody likes being micromanaged .They will completely lose interest in the task .I am.working women and I am not that into cooking , but OP wife is homemaker so I think how she keeps house / cooks is very important to her , if that also she is criticised / asked to change then how will she feel.

When we do lot of sacrifice it is admirable. Problem is when we start seeing it as normal and expect everyone to do that .I realised I'm doing this on another post.
Generally we think DIL should kill her individuality /respect etc and put up with everything . But it's very unhealthy because later when that DIL becomes MIL , she starts expecting same from her DIL and the cycle continues.
As OPs wife pointed out it makes her feel like servant . So it's better to stop it and start treating each person as equal and not that one person should be managed by another .Would the husband like that wife ask him to follow her father career and become exactly like him or allow his FIL to instruct him that he should change his career ? Would we respect her husband if he did that ? SgBv has explained well.