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Circle Of Sisters

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Rakhii, Sep 5, 2018.

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  1. Sep 5, 2018 #1
    Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    We have talked about what makes our relationships with our husband’s happy and easy going. Now, let’s talk about ourselves.

    I will share with you all my observation and you can add on to that. You need a good friend. If you are lucky enough to have more than one good friend, it’s a bonus.

    You need your Meredith (Gray’s Anatomy fans will know what I mean). That special person with whom you can share the details of shellac nailpolish disaster or the moment your boss was digging his nose thinking no one is seeing him or a shoulder when your husband strayed, a shoulder when your mom passed, a rock by you through thick and thin. This makes a world of difference in you. You need a circle of girlfriends.

    Nurture that special someone in your life. It was my friend who brought me back to shore when I was in deep deep trauma 3 years ago. It was the ladies in IL who stood by me, crying with me when I cried, smiling when I smiled. In virtual world and in real world, a friend is more likely to be your soulmate.
     
    Rakhii, Sep 5, 2018
    Rakhii, Sep 5, 2018
    #1
    pinkydarling, goldenhoney87, anushri and 10 others like this.
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  2. Sep 5, 2018 #2
    shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    This is sooo sooo true. And I feel I’m missing it already.
    But atleast happy that I have virtual friends in IL!
     
    shravs3, Sep 5, 2018
    shravs3, Sep 5, 2018
    #2
    nakshatra1 likes this.
  3. Sep 5, 2018 #3
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I am fortunate to have three. Two who live locally and one remote. They are always a whatsapp away. The local ones are my lifeline. No words to describe what they do for me. One's name shortens to Paru. And we have a running joke, 'hey I need some Paru-fication, can we chat?' When she goes to India, like women of yore used to worship picture of husband gone to war, I can't text her in real time, but I kind of imagine what would be her response to my current crisis, and that tides me over till it is daylight in India. : )

    In IL, I count among my friends some who make me breathe easy. Means, they make me breathe easy when I ponder on if/when I am not breathing. : ) The worry of what if dh and I pass away before kids are settled bugs me. Money etc is fine, they will be well provided for, but people who can counsel them in life's big decisions are limited. That is when I am glad there are people in IL to whom they can turn. And funnily enough these virtual friends might know me better than real life friends. For now, anonymity is golden. For when I am gone, nice to know help for my kids will be a login away. : ) Isn't that some compliment to the fine people here? Trusting them with help for kids' decisions when one is not around.

    Rakhii, another good thread. I had logged out and logged back in to respond. : )
     
    Rihana, Sep 5, 2018
    Rihana, Sep 5, 2018
    #3
    silentlistener, sindmani, Rakhii and 4 others like this.
  4. Sep 5, 2018 #4
    SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    After reading your post I am going to celebrate and be grateful for my circle of friends . From supporting a friend through her abusive marriage, supporting another through her divorce , the third through her struggles of being a mother to special gifted loving child and the fourth struggling to become a mother ( not telling which one is me :) )
    . We have seen it all. Life is a little less tougher when there are good friends. Thank you for the reminder.
     
    SinghManisha, Sep 5, 2018
    SinghManisha, Sep 5, 2018
    #4
    sindmani and Rakhii like this.
  5. Sep 5, 2018 #5
    Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes @Rihana , we all need our Meredith-fix, sometimes even every day. Its probably something about being made out of the same fabric? I don’t know. Will it make the existing issues any less? Perhaps not. What helps is the fact that it seems less when our friend is right by us.

    I cant help but notice though, once you find your Meredith, you don’t exactly need to work too much on it. They know when you are busy (not like MIL or even Mom complaining why we didn’t call in a week).

    Technology has improved so much and I would forever be grateful for that. My grandmother had 5 kids. Between her 5 kids, 8 grandkids and 3 great-grand kids, she barely had time till her last breath. We were her world. During her funeral, her last remaining friend’s came over. She told me that at one point, my grandmother and her used to “hang out” having fun. Made me giggle. Having a family is important but having a friend is nurturing to the soul.
     
    Rakhii, Sep 5, 2018
    Rakhii, Sep 5, 2018
    #5
  6. Sep 5, 2018 #6
    Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    exactly! life seems a little better with our friends around, either physically or virtually.
     
    Rakhii, Sep 5, 2018
    Rakhii, Sep 5, 2018
    #6
    SinghManisha likes this.
  7. Sep 5, 2018 #7
    Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    you will make one. soon.
     
    Rakhii, Sep 5, 2018
    Rakhii, Sep 5, 2018
    #7
    shravs3 likes this.
  8. Sep 6, 2018 #8
    sunshine1970

    sunshine1970 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi my sister is my best friend. I can share with her without judgement or trust issues. I can't go a few days without talking to her, and can share anything.
     
    sunshine1970, Sep 6, 2018
    sunshine1970, Sep 6, 2018
    #8
  9. Sep 12, 2018 #9
    SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    I really miss this best friend part
    I just don't find a female friend who can be so close to me as a family member.
    I have plenty of friends, but none of them are intimate friends.

    However, I have a male friend from School days. He is very close to me, and as @Rihana mentioned, he is just a whatsapp away.
    I can count on him for any matters and we do discuss a lot about career, finances, general issues, health, family problems etc
    He knows almost everything about me.
    Even though, I miss a female friend. Though my male friend is all nice and both of our families know our bonding very well etc... I still can't be open with him on everything. There are matters which we might feel uncomfortable with guys. There are matters our guys don't understand.

    So, I fill that gap with my extended friendship with my mom and sister. This due is so close to my heart, and there is no faking between us.
    We even chat for hours on everything under the sky...
    Yet, some matters can't be easily opened up with them as well... That's when I find ILs as my life boat.
    With this anonymous ID, I can discuss anything here.
    There are many followers, so many admirers and all here, yet I still don't have a friend in IL.

    Unfortunately, it is very easy for me to find a male friend, which I avoid though many men likes to be friends with me. At the same time, no matter how I like, none of my female friends extend closeness with me to be able to open up.
     
    SGBV, Sep 12, 2018
    SGBV, Sep 12, 2018
    #9
    sindmani, anushri and alady2018 like this.
  10. Oct 2, 2018 #10
    anushri

    anushri IL Hall of Fame

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    Friends are like oxygen for me... I have lived only community living... different locations... I am blessed with good number of friends who can feel happy for my happiness...They have pampered me when I am not well... corrected me when I am wrong... been my ego boost when I hit my low....Touchwood... now relocated to a different place... missing my dear ones... establishing good friendships in the new place is the new challenge now...
     
    anushri, Oct 2, 2018
    anushri, Oct 2, 2018
    #10
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