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Abhirami

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Viswamitra, Sep 4, 2018.

  1. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    When I imagine the name Abhirami, the Goddess Parvathi’s life around constantly meditating Lord Shiva comes into my mind. It is hard for any woman, be it human or Goddess to be the companion to a forest dweller with no home for himself or his family. He wears the sacred ash throughout His body besides wearing an attire that is socially not welcomed. According to the Hindu mythology, the couple dedicated one son to fulfill the wishes of the species and teach them right living while the other is dedicated to extinguishing demons. When we see courageous woman in real life, we call them Sakthi Swarupa.

    The Goddess who resides in Thirukadaiyur, Tamilnadu was worshipped by one Abhirami Buttar in 18th century. Some of us who are familiar with Tamil literature enjoy the songs written by him famously known as Abhirami Anthadhi. There are 100 stanzas (+2 for Lord Ganesha) and the peculiarity about this song praising the Goddess Abhirami was last word of the previous line is the starting word of the next.

    The meaning of important 24th stanza is given below along with relevant Tamil poem:

    " மணியே, மணியின்ஒளியே, ஒளிரும்மணிபுனைந்த

    அணியே, அணியும்அணிக்குஅழகே, அணுகாதவர்க்குப்
    பிணியே, பிணிக்குமருந்தே, அமரர்பெருவிருந்தே.
    பணியேன், ஒருவரைநின்பத்மபாதம்பணிந்தபின்னே."

    “Pearl like you are, You who are the reddish aura of the pearl! You are like the pearl studded chain who adds beauty to the chain, You are pain to those who do not fall at your feet while the panacea for pains of those who fall at your feet, the nectar of Gods, After worshipping at thine lotus feet, Will I bow before any other, Now and now after.”

    Now let us move to the 21st century. The entire Tamilnadu is offended by one married woman Abhirami. She loved and happily married a man named Vijay and has one boy aged 7 and a girl aged 4. The husband works for a private bank. 2 months back, this married woman Abhirami got attracted to a Biriyani shop worker nearby and started an affair with him. The husband came to know about it and scolded his wife to stay away from the Biriyani shop worker. One fine day, this now famous Abhirami decided to mix sleeping tablets in the milk and give the milk to the entire family and elope with the Biriyani shop worker. To her surprise, the husband and the son woke up the next day morning while the daughter died due to overdose. The husband was leaving for the job and wanted to kiss his daughter but the wife stopped him telling that she was fast asleep. The husband left for work on Friday morning telling that he would have to stay late in the bank and would return only on Saturday morning. After her husband left, she gave some more sleeping tablets to her son as he didn’t die as expected, strangled the son to death. She left in her scooter to catch a bus to go to Nagercoil from Chennai and their plan was to migrate to Thiruvanandapuram and settle down away from Tamilnadu.

    The next day morning, the husband Vijay returned from work only to see both his children were dead. He reported to the police about the affair and the police quickly arrested the biriyani shop worker. They arranged him to call Abhirami to capture her as well and now both are in police custody. All investigative Television channels are after this news. When they interviewed experts in this field, one woman said Abhirami must have been in constant mental depression and while the other said the husband should have been a listener to understand her feelings and emotions to prevent such disastrous outcome.

    In my view, Abhirami’s decision to destroy her married life along with killing her children is outright wrong and purely driven by her lust. My heart breaks for the children. Even if she decides to walk away from her marriage, she has no right to kill her children as advised by the Biriyani shop worker. How does one understand such behavior and how do we explain this to the children? Who is responsible for such disastrous outcome and what could society do to prevent such things? The society is reacting to punish her with death sentence and will it bring back the children? Will measuring happiness in a marriage every year help? What is the root cause of men or women getting involved in EMA and what steps could be taken to prevent it? The problem was mostly with men in the earlier generations and now it has spread into women as well.
     
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  2. Joyoflife

    Joyoflife Gold IL'ite

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    Hello Visa sir

    What a sad news. No words to express how I felt after reading this snippet. Recently in our friend circle back in India a lady eloped with a truck driver from another state. She left behind her two sons aged 8 and 11. She took all her jewellery and huge amount of cash lying in their safe. Her husband was shocked when he came from work. I could not come in terms with this incident now this snippet takes it one step further. I do not know what do these people think and how their mind perceives things which makes them take such heinous steps. I just could not understand how these women thought that they can build happiness with their boyfriends after taking such devastating steps. The woman I am mentioning here had a very comfortable life, she was a social butterfly in her mid thirties. They seemed a happy couple to us. News that she had eloped was very shocking to everyone. Now her sons are constantly teased by their school friends for their mothers actions. I do not know what can be done stop such things. I do not know where we are heading as a society. Why is humanity falling so badly. I believe we have no right to take any other beings life be in a human, animal or an insect and but what must have been be the mindset of this woman that she did such a thing to her own offsprings. I am left speechless. Death sentence for her or not two little lives are already lost now.
     
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  3. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    @Viswamitra,

    Sad but a reflection of changing times, I guess.Perhaps severe depression or suppression of a lot of emotions on her part, sexual incompatibility, torture from husband behind the closed doors... There could be several reasons for this tragedy but nothing justifies the methodology chosen.
     
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  4. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Viswa
    I just do not understand your purpose of starting this blog with the story of Goddess Abhirami. Maybe you have a reason for it.
    The 21st Century Abhirami is one of many such behavioral aberration. Open a Tamil newspaper any day and you find half a dozen such cases. Lust determines the life style of these people. Perhaps it will get worse as we move on to the next century. Time makes us gloss over everything. Years ago, there was a blast in Chennai Airport and quite a few died in the blast. It was so strong that the flesh of some of the dead got stuck to the roof. We talked nonstop about it for few days and no one even remembers it now. Then that horrible Delhi incident in a moving bus. We will forget this Abhirami too soon. I won't be surprised if she is even let off for want of adequate evidence!
    Let these cruel folks stew in their own cruelty. Those who believe in the Theory of Karma would perhaps blame it on their Karma. Meanwhile let us get going with our life as honestly and conscientiously as possible.
     
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  5. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @Joyoflife

    I couldn't understand either. I feel the same when a man does it as well.

    These are the effects such people should think before doing something drastic. Why should children suffer due to a parent's mistake?

    The values in life has eroded considerably and probably a few have lost faith in the value system and right living. Sometimes, there are some social responses needed beyond a simple punishment to such culprit.

    Her father said she was highly pampered child and right from her child she would insist on doing whatever she likes. Father and husband came to know about it and scolded her for her bad behavior. But instead of listening to them, she decided to do whatever she liked. It is the biriyani shop worker who suggested that their relationship could be pursued better only if the husband and two children were killed. But it is the mother who should have the discrimination to know what is right from wrong. Even if she had to pursue living with the boyfriend, she would have left the children with her husband.

    Viswa
     
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  6. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    We never come to know the true issues she encountered but killing innocent children is an extreme step for someone to pursue an illicit relationship. Well, she can justify depression and lack of love from her husband, etc. for pursuing an illicit relationship but how can she justify killing her own innocent children?

    Viswa
     
  7. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Cheeniya Sir,

    Life is full of challenges even for celestial beings is what I was trying to convey and they set an example to dedicate life for the well-being of the devotees.

    I agree that there are umpteen such happenings reported everyday and the values in life are getting eroded day by day. As a society, every individual has a responsibility to understand the root cause of such erosion of values and unless we talk about it and get opinion from everyone, these drastic actions will not reduce. I am not looking to eliminate them completely and even reduction in such drastic actions will be improvement to the society.

    When a young woman in New Delhi was raped in a bus, men and women spoke forcing the government to take quick action. Similarly, there is no one to talk for those young 7 year old and 4 year old children and we can't just walk away from such tragic events as another news. I am not only looking for government's action here but also a social upraising that would proactively avoid such happenings especially killing young children who trust their mother completely and can't defend themselves.

    Viswa
     
  8. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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  9. Agatha83

    Agatha83 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Viswa,

    Recently there was another shocking news about a new born baby abandoned in a drain. Luckily the child was spotted by an onlooker, a lady who saved it in the nick of time, removing the umbilical cord, from its neck and called the helpline immediately. How could a woman do such a ghastly act was the question running through everyone’s mind during that time.
    There are scores of issues women have to deal both within and outside marriage.Neither the society nor the immediate relatives are kind enough to give emotional support to such women. This woman’s particular act seems to me more of taking revenge on her husband, rather than an act of lust. Anyway India needs more therapists and family counsellor to help women in distress.

    Agatha83
     
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  10. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    Today I read a news report that speaks of a step mother in Kashmir, who got her step daughter gang raped, killed, mutilated and defaced the body with acid! All because her husband showered extra love on that girl.

    Crime may have its own insane reasons which are beyond a civil person's imagination. I felt numb and couldn't read the entire report. At the same time, that stepmother's madness, frustration and brutality began to haunt me. I wish as a society we had avenues to get rid of such extreme emotions safely. We react when we hear of crime but when the minds are going insane, there are hardly any listeners, helpers or avenues. A safe place to vent, a few listeners to acknowledge the feelings and show the right path, a few healthy diversions or outlets, a sympathetic society, a fair enforcement of law and subsequent rehabilitation are all essential for a saner society.

    Most people think even talking about such crime is a sin. These events are extremely disturbing but open discussions do help in letting people know of alternative/ safer vents and a healthy discussion on such subjects makes the society more aware and vigilant; future crimes may be nipped in the bud by simple awareness!
     
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2018
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