Day To Day Issues

Hi,this journey of marriage has it’s own issues.I would like to solve them without losing my mind .

My recent issue is DH has little empathy
at times ,it’s stressing me out .Even if I have a hard day ,he expects good food and also to be punctual to the events we plan to attend .He gets very upset and doesn’t listen if I try to explain .

I would like to solve this by freezing extra curry with a date marked on the ziplock.

Being punctual is good,but each time it’s not possible with Kids at home and a long list of chores and errands to run.At least we were in the window of the chosen event...say 30 mins late ...but able to be there for the next 2 hrs ..what’s the big deal?I try my best to be on time ...

I would like to deal the above by letting him go to the event alone without me or else he needs to come home early to help me .If he can’t do it he can’t get mad at
me.
To be continued..

 

Also I plan to apply the tips from the groups sticky thread ,building positivity in marriage .

 

Please let me know if there are any other effective ways to respond to the above scenarios.

 

Thank you Manisha for your tips.
I’ll try to plan ahead like you do from now onwards.Probably I should start a planner for Home where I should pen down everything ,which serves as a visual reminder to me.

Also I shall prepare a week menu ahead and ask his contribution towards veggie cutting and getting Kids ready

 

Another issue is unfair division of work.

Agreed he had a stressful day.Me too had a stressful day cooking ,cleaning,grocery shopping ,taking Kids to the activities .

DH had 21/2 hrs of movie time ,while I slogged in the kitchen,cleaning,cooking
doing everything for everyone .

I spoke to him how I had to take up too many chores.How to make this situation better ? Thanks.

 

Looks like he realized about his mistake .But he quickly mended the problem only temporarily.So there won’t be no long term solution like planning ahead , chores errands mental tasks free time socializing,family time exercise .

Due to a stressful week ,exercise ,no help from DH my body became very sore and I got sick .

We had to go to a social event after myself getting some rest while DH helped with kids and stuff in the morning .He tried his best to avoid to spend time with us to avoid the event quoting some office work ,it’s oblivious that it’s a lie .He understood that I didn’t believe and had to come with us .

I had felt he just wants to escape any work regarding Home .He gets frustrated if he had to help me .

At the social event he had asked me to get some water / Soda and I said ok and helping him with that.He yelled .I had asked him why he had to yell in public .For that he repeated it again.

He hasn’t apologized since then.I had to show my hurt by keeping silent but not angry
He had understood that I was sad .
I’ve improved my situation by focusing on what makes me feel better by taking a nice shower,appreciating things say my kids,had a discussion with Kids regarding respect and venting it here.

This is the same person who had taken me for fun stuff like Ice cream and enjoyed some time with me the day before.

Wondering how I should have dealt this situation much better ~

 

I have researched about husband insulting wife in public and how to respond?

Here’s what I have found.

1. I should not believe it’s my fault.
2.Move for fresh air as soon as I feel he will get rude.
3.I have to be more strong and not get offended when he does that.
4.Respond with a soft voice and smile.
5.Hug,this is a nice one.A good way to diffuse
I’ll be embarrassed doing this in public ,but better than being insulted.
6.Ask him questions about his behavior and how I can help.
7.I will set few deadlines and goals for us.

Source~8 tips to deal with a rude and impolite spouse | Famifi